(She Won't) Sail Away
A little throw-away improved by adding a sixties garage band vibe
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ORIGINAL: https://jumpshare.com/share/YR3DfECFWKGBLjrvRLRa
SUNO: https://suno.com/song/7a3e5a19-9d5d-437e-a06e-6d16bf17715e
SHE WON'T SAIL AWAY
[Verse 1]
She won't take you home, tell you she loves you, everything you do
She won't let you feel love in her heart for you
[Chorus]
She won't sail away
She won't sail away
She won't sail away with me
[Verse 2]
She won't tell you that she needs you, just a little
And every day you're gonna do it, cause you just don't have a choice
[Chorus]
She won't sail away
She won't sail away, yeah
She won't sail away with me
[Bridge]
One of these days she's gonna have a lonely night
One of these days the tide is gonna bring her back by my side
[Chorus]
She won't sail away, yeah
She won't sail away with me
Comments
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It’s definitely singable and the version you have works well for your intended style.
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Not bad. Definitely easy to listen to.
Only thing I'd point to is the switch between 1st and 2nd person. And that's no biggie. If it was deliberate, I'm not sure what that implies.
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Yup it's all talking to us , then you said you . You switched pronouns . I would just talk to us
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