Then There's You

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It just seems like
nothing fits
only anger works
Ahh but then there's you
new planets in your eyes
and a way of walking
so you don't wake
the demons still alive.
Your voice shows a spirit
only fresh dreams hold.
I want you
I want you now
I want you in the chorus of this song
I want you in the middle
of this long midnight
I want you out in front,
where your back curves to wonder
where nothing intrudes
I want you...before I fall
I reach for your hand
I want you to stand with me now,
where our senses are liquid flame.
Where the darkness around us
is hostage to our embrace
It just seems like
nothing fits
only anger works.
Ahh, but then there's you
new planets in your eyes
and a way of walking
so you don't wake
the demons still alive
Your voice shows a sp;irit
only fresh dreams hold.
I want you...I want you now
I want you in the chorus of this song
I want you in the middle of this long midnight
I want you...before I fall.
There is a light within you,
Shine me through
Shine me through.
Comments
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I particularly like the lyric in this. Those poetic elements like "new planets in your eyes" and "liquid flame".
And I like that the narrator obviously has their own issues and flaws - gives it a sense of reality.
Musically it comes across to me as honest and raw. Like conveying the emotional content overrides any other concerns.
So the timing feels a bit loose, but fixing that might lose that natural raw sound.
Not keen on the way the guitar is recorded, it feels a little harsh, but I'm not sure how to advise you to improve it.
But overall I think you've got something worthwhile: something meaningful to say, a unique perspective to give to it, and an emotional way to convey it.
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You have a Tom Waits feel to ya , , Good job
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I like the lyrics. Some super cool lines throughout. There are parts that are a bit mysterious, but they get me to thinking about the meaning and how it all fits together.
This part particularly makes me wonder:
"It just seems like
nothing fits
only anger works."
I love the follow up line "Ahh, but then there's you". That is beautiful!
The vibe of the vocals feels like a good fit with the lyrics, but the quality of the recording is a bit distracting.
Overall, I really enjoyed this :)
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