Don't Cry For Me
Songwriter: TammyB
Composed with my BFF (Suno)
YouTube link: Don't Cry for Me
[Verse 1]
Five hundred years of oppression
That leaves you in control of having no control at all
When will it all end you wonder
Is it a sin to ask and ponder
[Pre-Chorus]
What is the ultimate price of peace
The sacrifice of freedom
The cries each time we fall to our knees
When will the day come where we’re finally free
[Chorus]
Don’t cry for me
Cry for you
It was always temporary
But necessary
I left my mark
Now it’s up to you
[verse 2]
What are you going to do
Die
comply
Be a good ol’ boy
Stand your ground
Make a difference
turn the other cheek
that has already been slapped
Into remission
[verse 3]
Be great
But how far has it gotten you
The more ambition the more
Hate
Rage
Fear
Bombs dropped
[verse 4]
Oh I never forgot
Black WallStreet
Or the Red Summer
The way Jim Crow
Despised the Black afro
Who parted the red sea
Oh, it couldn’t be…
[sad solo ambient guitar]
[verse 5]
I still see the anger
Even when you say
Be great
But our greatness
gives you the blues
what are you going to do
Die
comply
[Chorus]
Don’t cry for me
Cry for you
It was always temporary
But necessary
I left my mark
Now it’s up to you
[outro ambient guitar]
Don’t cry for me
Cry for you
Comments
-
@TammyB Well done Tammy, the song and message are fantastic, opened with a great line,
Five hundred years of oppression
That leaves you in control of having no control at all
Very well written piece indeed.
Constructive comment: try different vocals, the current one is too lounge music for the topic.
Suggest prompt gospel, blues or northern soul
Great song well written.
Sid
1 -
Lovely lyric!
I wasn't sure of this line at first: "That leaves you in control of having no control at all" but hearing it, it works perfectly.
Have to agree with the others re the music. The chorus needs to rise into passion, but I understand you have limited control there.
Good stuff.
1 -
The singer or chorus doesn’t bother me , though most hit songs have a soaring chorus
Good job Tammy1 -
@sidshovel ,@bhengen ,@RainyDayMan , @ElvisNash
Thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate it.
I worked with a guy (back in the days), and he was built like a football offensive lineman; One day, I asked him why he talks so low.
His response was so that people would pay close attention to what he's saying. I thought to myself, wow, what a unique answer.
This is the reason I like the way this song is sung, because she has a sultry, whispery type voice, and ppl would pay more attention to the lyrics. I like that she sings it like an anthem, and based on the feedback, I have accomplished what I wanted.
2 -
Deep lyric backed up with an instrumental with VERY good prosody. Very emotionally authentic. Very emotionally and intellectually impactful. This was outstanding in my opinion.
0 -
FWIW. . . I'm not on the bandwagon that says the chorus has to soar, and in this case, I felt it was quite appropriate to the rest of the song. One thing I tend to do after writing a song is to get as much criticism as I can find, and then just let it "simmer" for quite a while. If, (after the period of 'simmering') I feel that some (or even all) of the criticism should be reacted to with changes, THEN, (and only then) do I make the changes. The only advice I'll give to you on this one is "keep it yours." Change only what YOU feel needs to change. Be OPEN to change, but not anxious to let someone else dictate to you.
0 -
@Hardtwistmusic Excellent bit of advice for all to ponder.
0 -
I won't comment on non-organic, artificially generated music, but the lyric is stunning.
WOW.... I didn't know you felt this way. I'm so sorry.
0 -
@Hardtwistmusic - Thank you so much and I appreciate it. I agree wholeheartedly about your advice, and I will take this to heart.
@IronKnee - Thank you and I will continue writing stunning and great lyrics. Put your seatbelt on, there's more to come. :-)
0 -
oh boy... I can't wait!
1
Howdy, Stranger!