Right on Lyrics

You
yes you
Took away my smile
I ran after you every mile
You fell for someone that chewed
Me up worse than a crocodile

So please don't
Say I'm beautiful
Pretend you're there
I awake everyday for many years
You never appeared
I ask you to show
You dissappear

. . .& you say I'm the one that's unfair?

Comments

  • these are really great lyrics. really curious tho to hear how it sounds when put to music. there are many directions you can go. I'm getting a 21 pilot kind of vibe.

  • This reminds me of the poetry I write when I want to release frustration.

    I'm curious as well to see the lyrics composed. Put it into SUNO and let see what it does.

  • ElvisNash
    ElvisNash Calif
    edited April 10
    You seem to have some depression problems . I would write something upbeat . You awoke many years waiting for him? Most women songs in 2025 empower them selves . Your making this women a victim . You're making her a door mat. Women in the 21st century don't put up with it
  • ElvisNash
    ElvisNash Calif
    edited April 10

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAETfO9a8cw


    She tells him to screw off

    Women are stronger now in songs , Not door mats . gone are the 1960 ties and women rely on men

  • BeatlesFan64
    BeatlesFan64 Cedar Hill, TX
    I don’t know about the mile / crocodile rhyme tbh. When I first read it, it felt like a filler rhyme, but at the same time, it’s creative. I think it just depends on the delivery. Mind you, this is coming from someone who rhymes “you” and “true”, so I’m in no position to judge anyone there :p.

    I do like this. It’s short, but has some good emotional imagery, and that final wham line lands really well. I’d definitely be interested to hear it with music.
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