Destination unknown
Destination unknown
[verse]
Loneliness is a face in the crowd
that no one seems to know.
She waits on a bench for the next bus.
Destination unknown.
chorus
Is it east, is it west, it’s anyone’s guess?
She’ll disappear like a mirage.
[verse]
Loneliness speaks but no one hears her.
Her words fall on deaf ears.
It breaks her heart but nobody cares.
That she has disappeared.
[chorus]
Is she gone,is she lost, it’s anyone’s guess
She’s disappeared like a mirage.
[bridge]
She isn’t missed, she’s just dismissed.
Forgotten in a blink of an eye.
As if she never existed.
As if she wasn’t even alive.
[verse]
Loneliness is a face in the crowd
that no one seems to know.
She waits on a bench for the next bus.
Destination unknown.
[chorus]
Is it east, is it west, it’s anyone’s guess.
She’s disappeared like a mirage.
[Outro]
To destinations,
destinations;
destinations unknown.
[verse]
Loneliness is a face in the crowd
that no one seems to know.
She waits on a bench for the next bus.
Destination unknown.
chorus
Is it east, is it west, it’s anyone’s guess?
She’ll disappear like a mirage.
[verse]
Loneliness speaks but no one hears her.
Her words fall on deaf ears.
It breaks her heart but nobody cares.
That she has disappeared.
[chorus]
Is she gone,is she lost, it’s anyone’s guess
She’s disappeared like a mirage.
[bridge]
She isn’t missed, she’s just dismissed.
Forgotten in a blink of an eye.
As if she never existed.
As if she wasn’t even alive.
[verse]
Loneliness is a face in the crowd
that no one seems to know.
She waits on a bench for the next bus.
Destination unknown.
[chorus]
Is it east, is it west, it’s anyone’s guess.
She’s disappeared like a mirage.
[Outro]
To destinations,
destinations;
destinations unknown.
1
Comments
-
Carroll, I like the verses here, but the chorus feels like the weakest part, when it should be the strongest.
I think you need to try and summarize the song there, preferably ending on your title and hook. So something more like:
"Just a face in the crowd wandering alone
Passing through life with destination unknown"
1 -
I thought it was a really good lyric. There were places where I could sort of "feel" a different word here or there to keep the cadence and spacing that my mind was creating as I read it, but that's common when you "feel" a different cadence and spacing than I do. All in all, excellent.
0 -
I really liked the personification of loneliness, and it’s interesting that it’s a she. It made me realize that whenever loneliness is personified, it’s almost always as “he”. So yeah, I was intrigued right away. I loved the imagery, it definitely painted a picture, I could feel the desolate settings, the nebulous “destination unknown”. I do have to agree with RDM though, I think the chorus is the weakest part, unfortunately. It doesn’t necessarily have to contain the title (though I do like his suggestion), and maybe you don’t even need a chorus? You kind of already have the “destination unknown” hook in the verse, so it could work just as well if you take the chorus out. Just my thoughts, I really like it overall!0
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Appreciate your input. Thanks!
0
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