They're COMING!!

The song from my concept/rock opera album that I'm most concerned by. I wanted an oversaturated sound to represent the panic of being chased by the albums villains - the Hypertronic Neo Shrimp but I've lived with the song for a couple of months now and have no idea if it sounds OK or a bit 'poo', It'salso to contrast the production of the surrounding songs and give variation to the soundscape. Ignore the opening 25 seconds, that's for the ongoing album story.

The song contains a swear word.


https://soundcloud.com/lee_boyes-128832399/theyre-coming?utm_source=clipboard&utm_campaign=wtshare&utm_medium=widget&utm_content=https%253A%252F%252Fsoundcloud.com%252Flee_boyes-128832399%252Ftheyre-coming


Lyric

They’re coming


If you'd ever seen a Neo shrimp,

You’d know that the time to run was now

sprint and hide.

Let your fear be your guide.

Nobody needs to tell you how

lie down low, throw your morals to the ground

before the Neo shrimp you’ll bow,

no brave defence

-leave the fighting for the dense.

Nobody is coming to help you now


They’re coming!


They’re here today

and they’re here to stay.

Can you hide the Banksy way?

be poised

be ready

and listen for the shrimp-y sound

you want to die?

your day is surely nigh

  • to such fate your life is bound


What was that?


They’re coming!


Hold me!


I hear you have lost all hope,

and don’t even question why

all is pain and hard to cope

embracing ways to die


Bernard: “They’re here!”


Leave it - go


Shake a leg


B: “Don’t leave me”


Good luck


That’ll teach you to fall


B: “Please - friends!”


Hard f*cks fatty


B: “Don’t leave me!”


Neo Shrimp: Hello


B: “Get away”


NS: little man!


B: “Please”


NS: Come closer!


B: “Please!


Please someone, anyone?! Help me!”


They’re Coming!!


Never look behind you

never look down

don’t stop for anybody in your way

you see them - in the huddle?

salvation in a cuddle

the neo shrimp will surely have a play

listen I’m running but the neo shrimp are coming.

The truth is when and not if

give up if you like,

I’m getting on my bike,

I’ll never give those Neo shrimp a whiff


They’re COMING!!

Comments

  • Well, it doesn't do it for me - but that may be just the style rather than the quality.

    I find the static/white noise FX distracting and blurs the soundscape. It also makes some of the vocals harder to hear clearly.

    I'm not getting the Panic / Frantic feel that I think you are after. For me it's almost got a comedic vibe to it.

    I do like the layered vocals, and the musical stabs.

    But bear in mind that I'm an old fart with a preference for melodic folk/rock songs. 😉

  • CorkingCrackBand
    edited March 2023

    That's my bad - it is a comic album so it's panic within the confines of it being tongue in cheek. Perhaps frantic would be a better word.


    Re the fuzzy sound - yeah that's my fear. I've got someone listening to the album to check the 'feel' for me so hopefully they'll give a better idea of whether it works in context but my instinct is it's a bit much.


    Cheers for the feedback.


    CCB

  • Very entertaining, love this sci-fi vibe!

    Enjoying the beat and the vibe, very fun!!!

  • Hi @ReneAsologuitar


    Thanks, I'm glad you found something to like in there. I'm a bit unsure of what to do with it in all honesty. Oh how I wish I wasn't so useless atmixing. 😁


    Thanks for listening,


    CCB

  • This one is... wild and unique! It's like Thomas Dolby on ultra-steroids. Very creative! I could imagine this track in a sci-fi video game with neo-shrimp on the attack. 🤣

  • Hi @icystorm ,


    Your kind feedback made me go back and solve the problem (and @RainyDayMan 's critique). I think it should sound cleaner now and less... bad. That said, @RainyDayMan might just not like the song - which s perfectly valid. 😁

    Thanks for getting me to pull my finger out you lot. 😉


    CCB

  • Yes that's a lot cleaner and easier on the ears now. And it was helpful to hear you wanted it to be tongue in cheek, it made a lot more sense that way. It may not be exactly my thing, but I like this version a lot more.

  • I was drawn in at first but, forgive me, the eccentricity of some of this stuff is now proving a bit hard to get my head around. Don't get me wrong, this is really well crafted, but I'm just not sure how to evaluate it. Don't let me stop you though. Your arrangements are really smart. 😀

  • No forgiveness needed @ChrisPrice, I admire your songs greatly but it would be a boring world if we all liked everything. 😉

    I appreciate your honesty and thanks for the compliment and listen.

    CCB

  • MoraAmaroLaLoba
    MoraAmaroLaLoba Madrid (Spain)

    The truth is that I was scared, a few nights ago I dreamed that an incredible light woke me up, I jumped out of bed and looked out the window, there they were, they had already arrived with their ships, large, medium and small occupying a sky that was in dark red!!!

    So your song has given me goosebumps!!!😰

    tGood job of chaos, everything sounds in a fusion that becomes turbine that sucks in the listeners, at least me.

    The voices are weird, they suit this insanely fun de-construction of world. @CorkingCrackBand

  • You're an angel @MoraAmaroLaLoba,


    Oddly the sky is red in my minds eye too. 😁 If it helps, the Rats do quite well out of my album - I suggest you buy a rat costume for when they come for you - they'll leave you be. 😉


    Thanks so much for your delightful comment.


    CCB

  • icystorm
    edited April 2023

    No problemo! I was watching a Dr. Who episode from the 70s and remembered your track, which would have worked well in that show! LOL! Anyway, I listened to your update. It's definitely clearer now. Nice work! Speaking of Dr. Who, I wonder if they ever figured out if Tom Baker was the shadowy figure steering the vessel in the 80s video for "Don't Pay the Ferryman" by Chris De Burgh. LOL! 😀


  • When the Beatles turned up in Doctor Who I knew there was no besting that. If only I had a TARDIS of my own to go back (I think technically I'd need to go forwards in time but that's getting a bit deep into the weeds) and destroy the time space visualiser (? - I'm going off memory but I think that's it) they appeared on. I'm boycotting allowing my songs on old 60's/70's school Who* until then. It's there loss. 🤣

    CCB

    *The only Doctor Who that I acknowledge.

  • Cheers bud. I could have sworn you'd already commented but apparently not. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen.


    CCB

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