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Dennis Railey
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                  Re-written

             Redneck Makeover 
      copyright 2009/Dennis Railey


verse
 I was born a redneck, been one all my  life
 worn out jeans, bad haircut, scars from all my fights
 drinkin beer and smokin, are a few things that I love
 now I've left those things behind, got myself cleaned up

 chorus
  I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  all dressed up, nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  had a redneck makeover, now I play by all the rules
  
verse
 this redneck makeover, for all my friends to see
 might set a good example, they'll wanna be like me
 then again I doubt it, they'll probably say goodbye
 walk away, shake their head, some might even cry

 chorus
  cus I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  all dressed up, nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  had a redneck makeover, now I play by all the rules

bridge
  woke up my head was pounding, let out a scream
  then I came to realize, it was only just a dream

chorus
  now I'm smokin my first cigarette, drinkin my first beer
  it's 7 in the morning, my head aint very clear
  spent all night out drinkin, actin like a fool
  you kin no more change a redneck, than you could change a mule
  spent all night out drinkin, actin like a fooooooooool.......
  you kin no more change a redneck, than you could change a mule





 

Last edited on Sat Aug 1st, 2009 03:40 am by Dennis Railey

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Dennis I like it and if the song was layed over a video it could be funny as hell. Nice job.

Dennis Railey
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 Thanks Rob, this was a fifteen minute write and I just finished, so there probably will be some changes made.

C2
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Oh yeah! I like it. I need to write me one of these things. Maybe I'd have to mention the piano box they'd have to bury me in.

I have a suggestion for that last line of the chorus.

"I'm layin' in my final bed, kicked back and lookin' cool"

After all, it is about looks ain't it?

Dennis Railey wrote:
 

             Redneck Makeover 
      copyright 2009/Dennis Railey


verse
 I was born a redneck, been one all my  life
 worn out jeans, a bad haircut, scars from all my fights
 drinkin beer and smokin, are a few things that I love
 but now I've left those things behind, it's time to get cleaned up

 chorus
  I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  I'm all dressed up, a nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  I'm all kicked back just layin here, feelin oh so cool
  
verse
 this redneck makeover, for all my friends to see
 might set a good example, they'll wanna be like me
 then again I doubt it, they'll be tellin me goodbye
 walk away and shake their head, some might even cry

 chorus
  cus I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  I'm all dressed up, a nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  I'm all kicked back just layin here, feelin oh so cool

bridge
 now when this eulogy is over, and their walkin by to see
 I'll be lookin good, but feelin cool, with the job they done on me

chorus

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This here song was inspired by the wise words of Jeff Knight... he done his eulogy song and suggested one for me, so I took his advice... one less thing for my family to worry about.

Last edited on Wed Jul 29th, 2009 07:49 pm by C2

Jeff Knight
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lol, I guess every songwriter on this and a few other forums
have an icon redneck song to go along with their personality.
Course I may have 2 or 3 ..... lmao

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Hahahahaha...good write Dennis! reminds me of me. I used to be THE redneck....lol. I loved the bars and alcohol. I had one particular local bar I basically lived at when I wasn't playing music or working and one table in the back by the restrooms that was MINE, it was understood...lol. I was there EVERY thursday, friday and saturday nite if I was free. When I straightened up it was over night. I just woke up one day and said "This is it! Sick and tired of waking up sick and tired"....I was there on a friday nite and never went back, never drank again, etc....about a year later I was at a local flea market and ran into one of the regulars at that particular bar..he looked like he had seen a ghost. He hugged my neck and said, " I can't believe it! Everybody said you must have died or you'd been back!....now I have mixed emotions big man! I want to be happy, but I also want to kick your a#$ up between your shoulder blades!" I asked why and he said, "Because you idiot! Since you've been gone, no matter how crowded that place was, standing room only sometimes...NOBODY would sit at your table, they just kept a candle on it out of respect!"....lol. I almost died laughing.

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Nice write Dennis! The title/hook is outstanding! I saw on Jeff's thread that you were working on something along the lines of a eulogy lyric, but when I saw the title 'Redneck Makeover' I wasn't expecting this to be it! lol  But I really like it and I think you did a very good job on it!  :)

Dennis Railey
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C2 wrote: Oh yeah! I like it. I need to write me one of these things. Maybe I'd have to mention the piano box they'd have to bury me in.

I have a suggestion for that last line of the chorus.

"I'm layin' in my final bed, kicked back and lookin' cool"

After all, it is about looks ain't it?



 Thanks Curtis, actually the "cool" was meant to be taken as in body temp.  I'm going to tweak it a little to bring that out more.

Dennis Railey
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Jeff Knight wrote:
lol, I guess every songwriter on this and a few other forums
have an icon redneck song to go along with their personality.
Course I may have 2 or 3 ..... lmao


I may make 2 or 3 different songs out of this one, it started out as a joke but it's got me thinkin of a couple of totally different directions to take it... having nothing to do with a eulogy, by the way.

Dennis Railey
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Guitarman38 wrote: Hahahahaha...good write Dennis! reminds me of me. I used to be THE redneck....lol. I loved the bars and alcohol. I had one particular local bar I basically lived at when I wasn't playing music or working and one table in the back by the restrooms that was MINE, it was understood...lol. I was there EVERY thursday, friday and saturday nite if I was free. When I straightened up it was over night. I just woke up one day and said "This is it! Sick and tired of waking up sick and tired"....I was there on a friday nite and never went back, never drank again, etc....about a year later I was at a local flea market and ran into one of the regulars at that particular bar..he looked like he had seen a ghost. He hugged my neck and said, " I can't believe it! Everybody said you must have died or you'd been back!....now I have mixed emotions big man! I want to be happy, but I also want to kick your a#$ up between your shoulder blades!" I asked why and he said, "Because you idiot! Since you've been gone, no matter how crowded that place was, standing room only sometimes...NOBODY would sit at your table, they just kept a candle on it out of respect!"....lol. I almost died laughing.
 Great story Big John... there's a song in there too!  I used to love hanging out in the bars too... I aint talkin bout the fancy ones either, the redneck joints were fine with me.  As a matter of fact I met my wife in a bar, it was an honest to goodness case of "whats a nice girl like that doin here"  At least something good came out of my years of playing in bands and hanging out in bars.  :)

Dennis Railey
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SundownSam wrote: Nice write Dennis! The title/hook is outstanding! I saw on Jeff's thread that you were working on something along the lines of a eulogy lyric, but when I saw the title 'Redneck Makeover' I wasn't expecting this to be it! lol  But I really like it and I think you did a very good job on it!  :)

 Thanks Sara, you can blame Big John and Jeff for this one, Big John got me started on a rant and Jeff made me write a song about it... well, he did'nt really make me, but he planted the seed and I could'nt stop it from growing.  I guess my friends can play it after I'm gone but it wont be my eulogy, just having a little fun poking fun at myself... besides that, Jeff would'a writ it if'n I did'nt, so I figured I'd better do it right  :D-I better go now!

Roy Harris
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I agree you could very easily take it in another direction, leave out the coffin and dying and just make it a Redneck Makeover song. period.  This has some very good ideas in it. 

Dennis Railey
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Roy Harris wrote: I agree you could very easily take it in another direction, leave out the coffin and dying and just make it a Redneck Makeover song. period.  This has some very good ideas in it. 
 Yeah, I originally wrote this all in the name of having fun with it, but, I've got a bad taste in my mouth about it now... re-write in progress and almost done  :)

Dennis Railey
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                  Re-written

             Redneck Makeover 
      copyright 2009/Dennis Railey


verse
 I was born a redneck, been one all my  life
 worn out jeans, bad haircut, scars from all my fights
 drinkin beer and smokin, are a few things that I love
 but now I've left those things behind, got myself cleaned up

 chorus
  I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  all dressed up, a nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  had a redneck makeover, now I play by all the rules
  
verse
 this redneck makeover, for all my friends to see
 might set a good example, they'll wanna be like me
 then again I doubt it, they'll probably say goodbye
 walk away and shake their head, some might even cry

 chorus
  cus I've smoked my last cigarette, drank my last beer
  all dressed up, a nice haircut, my head is finally clear
  You'll no longer find me, actin like a fool
  had a redneck makeover, now I play by all the rules

bridge
  woke up my head was pounding,  let out a scream
  then I came to realize, it was only just a dream

chorus
  now I'm smokin my first cigarette, drinkin my first beer
  it's 7 in the morning, my head aint very clear
  spent all night out drinkin, actin like a fool
  you kin no more change a redneck, than you could change a mule
  spent all night out drinkin, actin like a foooooooool........
  you kin no more change a redneck, than you could change a mule
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last edited on Sat Aug 1st, 2009 03:42 am by Dennis Railey

Roy Harris
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Excellent.  That is exactly what I was thinking.  Now you got yourself a song that a real redneck would be proud of. 

Dennis Railey
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Roy Harris wrote: Excellent.  That is exactly what I was thinking.  Now you got yourself a song that a real redneck would be proud of. 
 Thanks Roy!  I dont know how any redneck could not like it... heck, even if ya get rid of the smokin and drinkin, you're still a redneck at heart  :D

C2
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Hell of a rewrite Dennis. You make this Ole Redneck real proud that it was just a dream.

My little nit pick on this one is: "had a redneck makeover, and I play by all the rules"
to "had a redneck makeover,
 now I play by all the rules"

Great job buddy!


Dennis Railey
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C2 wrote: Hell of a rewrite Dennis. You make this Ole Redneck real proud that it was just a dream.

My little nit pick on this one is: "had a redneck makeover, and I play by all the rules"
to "had a redneck makeover,
 now I play by all the rules"

Great job buddy!




 Thanks Curtis, I'm glad you like it... I like it alot better than the first one, and I might do a little more tweaking on it.  You're right about using "now" instead of "and", but I'm thinkin it would be better to not use either... just leave it at "I play by all the rules"  it sings easier that way too.

 Thanks again!

C2
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If you say it sings better, then I'm with you brother. A small thing really, but it does make a little difference in the lyric. "NOW" I play by all the rules" does tie into the whole "makeover" thing. It implies that you weren't playin' by the rules before the makeover. If you just sing "I play by all the rules", it could indicate that you played by the rules by getting the makeover in the first place. And we KNOW that's not what you want to say. A small thing, but still a thing.

Of course my opinion AND a dollar will get you.......... well, a dollar. And that ain't worth much these days.:cool:

Dennis Railey
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C2 wrote: If you say it sings better, then I'm with you brother. A small thing really, but it does make a little difference in the lyric. "NOW" I play by all the rules" does tie into the whole "makeover" thing. It implies that you weren't playin' by the rules before the makeover. If you just sing "I play by all the rules", it could indicate that you played by the rules by getting the makeover in the first place. And we KNOW that's not what you want to say. A small thing, but still a thing.

Of course my opinion AND a dollar will get you.......... well, a dollar. And that ain't worth much these days.:cool:

 Well, Curtis, I'd say your opinion is pretty valuable, and giving it out for free is a heck of a good deal... I thought the same thing about needing the now in there for clarification, but, then I thought about what these more experienced songwriters say about throw away words and decided to leave it out... "now" however, I decided to put it back in.  I also edited a few words out and changed a couple... thanks for the comments and suggestion.  "Now", how about that dollar you were talkin about... I could use an extree dollar in my pocket  :D

Last edited on Fri Jul 31st, 2009 06:44 am by Dennis Railey

C2
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Dennis,
Do you take paypal? I'll need that address.
:D

Jeff Knight
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Dennis Railey wrote: 
  besides that, Jeff would'a writ it if'n I did'nt, so I figured I'd better do it right  :D-I better go now!

lmao
:P

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C2 wrote: Hell of a rewrite Dennis.


I totally agree!!!!!!!!! :cool: 

Dadgum Dennis, this is terrific!!! I love the spin you put on it about it just being a dream!  Really cool write, my friend, I like it a whole bunch !!!  Now all you have to do is put a little music to it and it'll be ready to toss into the open mic ring one week!  :D

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C2 wrote: Dennis,
Do you take paypal? I'll need that address.
:D

 In this day and time?!!! Silver or gold coins only... jist put my name on the envelope and send it to Arkansas, it'll make it to me... we're all related here :D

Dennis Railey
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Jeff Knight wrote: Dennis Railey wrote: 
  besides that, Jeff would'a writ it if'n I did'nt, so I figured I'd better do it right  :D-I better go now!

lmao
:P

                                                       :rollface

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Dennis,

Pretty creative writing, nice job. Are we going to hear it soon?

Kevin

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SundownSam wrote: C2 wrote: Hell of a rewrite Dennis.


I totally agree!!!!!!!!! :cool: 

Dadgum Dennis, this is terrific!!! I love the spin you put on it about it just being a dream!  Really cool write, my friend, I like it a whole bunch !!!  Now all you have to do is put a little music to it and it'll be ready to toss into the open mic ring one week!  :D


 Thanks Sara!  What an enthusiastic compliment!  I appreciate that!... I like it much better now myself... especially since I'm alive in the song!  :)

 I'll have to wait until I get BIAB for this one... Jamstudio wont play the swing style I have in mind for it... if I cant get it done soon, then be ready for another one of my 'more guts than brains' a'cappella versions  :cool:

Dennis Railey
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Kevin Pearson wrote: Dennis,

Pretty creative writing, nice job. Are we going to hear it soon?

Kevin


 Hey Kevin, I appreciate the compliment... I hope to get it recorded soon, I'm getting Band In A box fairly soon and it will be some time after that.

Thanks again!

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GREAT HOOK and a Good Song Concept.

You have some wonderful suggestions form people here. The lyrics have some wonderful moments and this will make a VERY FUN Song.

Thank you for sharing,

David

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Dennis , this is good , I like it can't wait :) to hear it.

Dennis Railey
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David Reuter wrote: GREAT HOOK and a Good Song Concept.

You have some wonderful suggestions form people here. The lyrics have some wonderful moments and this will make a VERY FUN Song.

Thank you for sharing,

David

 Thanks David, I'm glad you like it... I think it will be a fun song too.  That's was the goal and it was fun to write.  I appreciate the comments!

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Arthur Holt wrote: Dennis , this is good , I like it can't wait :) to hear it.
 Thanks Art, I appreciate it... I cant wait to hear it either!  This band in a box just aint playin what I tell it to yet!  :?

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Brad Paisley's gonna be knockin on your door for this one. Nice twist in the bridge and all around funny good time song.

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RedinFla wrote: Brad Paisley's gonna be knockin on your door for this one. Nice twist in the bridge and all around funny good time song.

 Thanks Red, I'm glad you like it!  Man! Brad could flat do this song up right!  I'll have to study on how to get'm to hear it... hmmm... kidnap him?  break in his house and program it into his doorbell so it plays when someone rings?  bribe his chauffeur to play it in the limo?  Oh well, I'll think of something.  ;)

 Thanks again!


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