The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank  
AuthorPost
Kayla813
Member


Joined: Mon Aug 13th, 2012
Location: Boston, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 402
Favorite Artist: Owl City, Blue October, AirborneToxicEvent, Keane, SP, u2,Coldplay, LP,mb20
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Sir comes up to me
a week ago in an elevator
says i have two choices
it is quite clearer

give away my power
to a group that says they care
or give away my power
to the one i know that is really there

so i made my choice,
i made it known,
i did not know

that the choice made up on the phone

cos when you're tired
you don't think right
cos when you're wired
you do anything
but give up the fight

so sir showed up around 1 or 2 last night
gave me hope and inspiration
that it might turn out just right

sapphire2685
Member
 

Joined: Fri Jun 11th, 2021
Location:  
Posts: 9
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
These are some nice lyrics! I love the plot and the concept, and the execution too. It is simple but effective. One thing that was a tad confusing (at least to me) was what the power you mentioned in the second section stood for. Maybe that could be clarified in future lyrics if you do decide to extend this song. Or, you could keep it vague for the listener to wonder about. It is really an intriguing topic though and some solid lyrics! (Also I'm not like super experienced at all so take my advice with a grain of salt lol)


UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1623 seconds (26% database + 74% PHP). 26 queries executed.