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Empathy
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 Posted: Thu Jun 3rd, 2021 05:23 pm
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twelfths
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Negative comments are usually rich and substantive, because they come from genuine impulses that are expressible. People say we need more positivity, but it has become so mundane in the "That was good!", "Thanks". Sure, sometimes we need validation, but the cake gets to be too sweet sometimes.

In my perspective, inspiration is impulse. A fast car might inspire you to hurry up and get across the street or think of what the driver may have been thinking by accelerating instead of slowing.

I am still not yet perfect, as I fear what one would call god. But I expect it when I receive feedback. Meaning, I prefer substantive commentary on my material (though admittedly sometimes "this sucks" is enough for the stomach :))

This is a weakness, however. Because I have a much harder time taking positive commentary than negative... Though I still seek to understand.

It is EASY to say something negative, as we are flesh and understand each other, but to have truth is always more impactful -- especially when dealing with honest men.

So your affirmation is in the articulation of the magnitude of your trauma, please do not tell me "It was good." If you were going to say nothing, I would rather you have said nothing.

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 Posted: Fri Jun 4th, 2021 03:03 am
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RainyDayMan
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I think we all want honesty, and thoughtful, constructive feedback, whether negative or positive. But sometimes a little moral support helps too :)



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 Posted: Sun Jun 6th, 2021 12:33 am
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ttognaci
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twelfths wrote:
Negative comments are usually rich and substantive, because they come from genuine impulses that are expressible. People say we need more positivity, but it has become so mundane in the "That was good!", "Thanks". Sure, sometimes we need validation, but the cake gets to be too sweet sometimes.

In my perspective, inspiration is impulse. A fast car might inspire you to hurry up and get across the street or think of what the driver may have been thinking by accelerating instead of slowing.

I am still not yet perfect, as I fear what one would call god. But I expect it when I receive feedback. Meaning, I prefer substantive commentary on my material (though admittedly sometimes "this sucks" is enough for the stomach :))

This is a weakness, however. Because I have a much harder time taking positive commentary than negative... Though I still seek to understand.

It is EASY to say something negative, as we are flesh and understand each other, but to have truth is always more impactful -- especially when dealing with honest men.

So your affirmation is in the articulation of the magnitude of your trauma, please do not tell me "It was good." If you were going to say nothing, I would rather you have said nothing.


C'mon man, you have to take it all with a grain of salt. If you want true and real feedback, you have to find someone to work with face to face. It's much easier to develop a relationship that way. Some of the comments you find on the web-sites may be pretty good....or not. But then, again, how do you know? It's very often the back and forth of real time that produces the best work. Great ideas are very often born from inspiration and the moment.
Have fun,
T

Last edited on Sun Jun 6th, 2021 12:34 am by ttognaci

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 Posted: Sun Jun 6th, 2021 12:45 am
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moptop
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ttognaci wrote:

C'mon man, you have to take it all with a grain of salt. If you want true and real feedback, you have to find someone to work with face to face. It's much easier to develop a relationship that way. Some of the comments you find on the web-sites may be pretty good....or not. But then, again, how do you know? It's very often the back and forth of real time that produces the best work. Great ideas are very often born from inspiration and the moment.
Have fun,
T


I have to agree with Tom. As great as it is to able to work up a good song just by Emailing lyrics ant tracks back and forth, there's no way that will ever replace the spontaneity of being in the same together bouncing ideas off each other and grabbing the best of it all.

Yeah, sometimes the truth hurts but I would rather someone be honest with me than to try to blow smoke.......
How else are we going to learn what's good and what needs improvement. Now the person that is leaving that feedback also has the responsibility to the recipient to do it in a tactful and constructive manner and not be mean or demeaning in any way. It's a 2 way street.


Last edited on Sun Jun 6th, 2021 12:50 am by moptop



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 Posted: Sun Jun 6th, 2021 07:23 pm
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twelfths
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Gentlemen, I appreciate your responses.

I think we all agree that we prefer honesty. Combined with transparency it makes for beautiful relationships.

You have introduced another element-- physical presence, which I also agree is as human as it gets. Though you have been blessed enough to be in the room with many people who are of themselves and share this passion, I haven't yet had that experience sufficiently. I do crave it, however!

I don't disregard our capacity to have genuine conversation. In fact, I am acknowledging that by setting those thoughts to rest--that one couldn't be honest with me... or anyone for that matter.

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 Posted: Sun Jun 6th, 2021 11:29 pm
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haimshim
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I agree with you. I also want this kind of feedback on my songs. I think giving a feedback has a lot of power in it, and if someone will look at that like that, and understand that his words might have a huge impact on the writer/artist, they will think twice what to write. Writing feedback just for the sake of it is not good for sure, even though sometimes even when typing fast to a song I'm hearing and not dedicating myself to the song, I know that I might say something that would help the artist.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 7th, 2021 01:59 am
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twelfths
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Thank you for your response, Haimshim.

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 Posted: Mon Jun 7th, 2021 06:07 pm
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Andrea
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I understand your thoughts, and feel the same way when I post lyrics. I also know it can take practice to learn how to leave constructive feedback. I think honesty works well when someone feels he/she lacks knowledge on a in depth level.

I will do my best when leaving feedback for you :)



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 Posted: Mon Jun 7th, 2021 10:16 pm
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twelfths
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Thank you for your response, Andrea.

In my opinion, uninspired feedback is rooted in personal motives. We'll never escape other's desperation, but setting an example always calls for those who resonate and wish to understand it.

And why wouldn't I want to interact with those people? :D

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 Posted: Tue Jun 8th, 2021 12:11 am
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Andrea
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twelfths wrote:
Thank you for your response, Andrea.

In my opinion, uninspired feedback is rooted in personal motives. We'll never escape other's desperation, but setting an example always calls for those who resonate and wish to understand it.

And why wouldn't I want to interact with those people? :D


I am not sure I understand exactly what you are saying. The forum welcomes everyone in all stages of progress from newbie to professional. It is not unusual for those new to lyric or song writing to feel uncomfortable giving constructive criticism. That doesn't mean they don't want to contribute, but it can take time to be comfortable giving personal opinions.

If someone has been around for a lengthy time, I agree, an 'inspired feedback' should be expected. It is a give and take here. Give the best you can, and get the best from others :)



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 Posted: Tue Jun 8th, 2021 01:04 am
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twelfths
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Hey, Andrea. Thank you again for your response.

I understand how what I said could be misconstrued, but remember I'm still very brand new to the forum. I have no opinions thus far besides warm welcome.

I have a tendency to speak in aphorisms.

The point I was making is that even for some of us that get more experienced with providing constructive feedback, and also for those of us who may see a community that functions in cohesion, some still only seek their motive and ignore the guidelines and obvious flow.

If anything, I admire how this forum has guidelines and rules, and that even with dates as far back as pre-2011, you've managed to maintain a pretty peaceful and tight-knit community.

But yes, inspired feedback comes from being present in your experience. Uninspired feedback comes from having other motives or otherwise not being in the moment to be traumatized.

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 Posted: Tue Jun 8th, 2021 01:22 am
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Andrea
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I love that you want to share yourself and ideas with the community. I suggest you post a blog.

http://www.thesongwritersforum.com/forum/view_forum.php?id=72



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 Posted: Fri Jun 11th, 2021 07:58 am
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twelfths
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Hey, Andrea. Thank you for your response.

This is cool! I appreciate the redirection and will put my posts in there instead!

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