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Cards
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 Posted: Mon Dec 30th, 2019 02:45 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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My wife gets on me for saving every card I get. That being said, it finally gave me this idea today.

V1
Sat here looking thru a stack
Of every I love you you gave
And I thank God for the good times
Specially now you’ve gone away

First a birthday then a Christmas
You never missed a single one
Now every folded memory culminates
With me wishing you weren’t gone

CH
All these cards
Once touched your hands
They’re one small step back
Back to when
Every feeling
Helped warm my heart
There’s more than words
Inside these cards

V2
Some bring laughter, others tears
Yeah who’d have thought, after all these years
How one small something, from a drawer appears
Making you cherish what’s disappeared

CH
All these cards
Once touched your hands
They’re one small step back
Back to when
Every feeling
Helped warm my heart
There’s more than words
Inside these cards

BR
In that envelopes a note from the heart
Don’t you dare say it’s only just a card
When the day comes, that you part
That drawer then holds priceless art

CH
All these cards
Once touched your hands
They’re one small step back
Back to when

Every feeling
Helped warm my heart
There’s more than words
Inside these cards

Copyright © Michael P. Dudash 12//30/2019



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 Posted: Mon Dec 30th, 2019 09:00 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Nice! It's a good theme. I like the idea of cards bringing back memories, and of having been held in a loved one's hands.

"every folded memory" is a lovely phrase.
I think "culminates" is a bit formal for the mood here.

I like the repeat on "back" in:
They’re one small step back
Back to when

and the chorus overall is strong.
The final line:
Inside these cards
feels a word short to me, like there should be some adjective describing the cards. Loving maybe?

Whereas this one feels a syllable long:
How one small something
maybe:
How one small thing...
Though that's not a biggie.

Need an apostrophe here:
In that envelope's...
(I know that's being picky but it actually threw me for a second)

I like this line too:
Don’t you dare say it’s only just a card

Maybe:
that you part > that you must part

It's a strong lyric. You may even choose to wait until it's set to music before worrying about any tidy up.

Good stuff!



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 Posted: Tue Dec 31st, 2019 03:55 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Location: Ohio USA
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Thanks Owen. Those are some valid points. Have about an hour and a half into it so it may need some polish.



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Self teaching in progress

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