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Crying Through My Smile
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 Posted: Wed Nov 27th, 2019 12:29 am
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cmaja
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I had the chorus done a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t work on it till this weekend. It’s a twist on ‘laughing through my tears’. CMA

Crying Through My Smile
___________________Verse/Chorus

Verse 1:
Haven’t you broke my heart enough
And left it scattered in the dust
Haven’t you stomped on all my hope
And left me slipping down this slope

Verse 2:
You were the promise of my heart
But left me jilted in the dark
You were deceptive all the while
And left me crying through my smile

Chorus:
Oh, I’m crying through my smile
Hanging by a thread
While you walk away
I’m joking to conceal the pain
Yes, I’m crying through my smile
Drowning in the dread
I can’t keep at bay
Hysteria’s driving me insane

Verse 3:
You were a trust that I believed
I felt our hearts were interweaved
And your love had me so beguiled
That left me crying through my smile

Chorus:
Oh, I’m crying through my smile
Hanging by a thread
While you walk away
I’m joking to conceal my pain
Yes,I’m crying through my smile
Drowning in the dread
I can’t keep at bay
Hysteria’s driving me insane

Bridge:
I should of seen this long ago
But my heart kicks at letting go
I should of listened to my friends
When they said your love’s pretend
I should of noticed all the signs
And understood your true designs

Chorus:
But, I’m crying through my smile
Hanging by a thread
While you walk away
I’m joking to conceal my pain
Yes, I’m crying through my smile
Drowning in the dread
I can’t keep at bay
Hysteria’s driving me insane

Post Chorus:
Oh, I’m crying through my smile
Crying through my smile

© 2019 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Tue Dec 3rd, 2019 08:50 pm by cmaja



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 Posted: Sun Dec 1st, 2019 12:48 am
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bunnythesinger
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Very nice Charles. Master of that crazy difficult multiple line rhyme 1-5,2-6,3-7,4-8 in the chorus...way hard to do well.. Lots of emotion and a return to the hook nicely. Well done.

Bunny



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 Posted: Mon Dec 2nd, 2019 04:05 pm
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cmaja
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Hey Bunny. Shortening lines 2, 3, 6 and 7 in the chorus makes the rhyming sequence a bit easier to sing. Thanks for the compliment.

Charles



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 Posted: Mon Dec 2nd, 2019 11:32 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Minced? Crushed. No country song ever has or will use that word. I'd think hard about 'trounced', as well. Good potential, tho



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 Posted: Mon Dec 2nd, 2019 11:32 pm
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SongWriterJoe
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Minced? Crushed. No country song ever has or will use that word. I'd think hard about 'trounced', as well. Good potential, tho



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"I'm not sure if my heart is in my music - or my music is in my heart!"
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 Posted: Tue Dec 3rd, 2019 08:52 pm
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cmaja
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Thanks Joe, I changed those two words.

Charles



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 Posted: Thu Dec 5th, 2019 06:48 pm
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Andrea
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I like the premise Charles. IMO I think some concrete acts would help me form a picture as I read.

For Ex:
Verse 3:
You were a trust that I believed - How
I felt our hearts were interweaved - ok, could be stronger
And your love had me so beguiled - why?
That left me crying through my smile



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 Posted: Fri Dec 6th, 2019 11:29 am
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M.P. Dudash
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Charles, the twist in the rhymes I find really cool. Overall I like it! The only issue for me was line 4 of the chorus. It seems as though it would be hard to sing that with the way I hear it. It’s not the line itself so much as the syllable count that I think throws it off. I think I can’t conceal the pain would fit better. That may just be how I hear it in my head. Other than that I like it.



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 Posted: Fri Dec 6th, 2019 05:40 pm
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cmaja
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M.P. Dudash wrote:
Charles, the twist in the rhymes I find really cool. Overall I like it! The only issue for me was line 4 of the chorus. It seems as though it would be hard to sing that with the way I hear it. It’s not the line itself so much as the syllable count that I think throws it off. I think I can’t conceal the pain would fit better. That may just be how I hear it in my head. Other than that I like it.

Thanks for your positive comments. Chorus line four matches line eight, meter and syllable count. I’d have to change both. The last four lines mirror the first four lines, approximately.

Charles



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