|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Thu Dec 19th, 2019 08:48 am||
|I like the chorus here. That flows nicely.
Verse one feels a bit convoluted to me, it doesn't have that same flow to it.
The bridge is another strong point.
You might consider:
Maybe someday, I’ll get up and leave you
to link it to the prev lines.
Verse 2 and the mother feels too indirect, almost a distraction. In real life of course it would be entirely relevant and a tragedy, but for the song it just seems to change focus unnecessarily.
But the love/hate relationship seems right on.