new short song I done recorded
been tinkering with it for a while now but can't seem to come up with anything else to go with it so i just said the heck with it and posted it.
Just want some opinions i reckon or ideas if you hear something that might fill it out.
christ-haunted south
I was always under the impression that you'd never get lost
always dedicated always there picking up where you left off
now we're down the road love now we see the truth after all
blood is on your breath hang your head hope that you can still crawl
you were hunting demons by the river with your bible and cross
pushing down your feelings under water baptize the bad thoughts
never let them see you never let them know you're in doubt
growing up in fear down here in the christ-haunted south
thanks!
Comments
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Love what you have so far. Beautiful, delicate picking and the change at line 3 is exactly as it should be,
The rhythm/prosody works so well for this too. Counterpoints the guitar nicely.
I feel like it needs to move to a chorus next. Maybe something about the holy ghost haunting your steps? How does the christ-haunted south make you feel or affect you?
The first verse is a little ambiguous so maybe the next verse helps explain the "blood is on your breath"
Definitely worth pursuing!
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I agree with RDM's comments here. This has a lot of atmosphere and everything fits really well. Work in progress - I'll be interested to hear where this goes.😀
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A lot of powerful imagery here (is the blood on her breath communion wine). I'll be interested to see where it goes. Sounds like she has done something wrong that causes the foundations of her faith to crumble?
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It's a very warm piece, love the guitars, very relaxing sound, maybe at some parts you could add a chorus, another voice, sure it would give the song a splendid atmosphere. It has been a vey very nice listening.!!!
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I like what you've created so far, and I definitely think it is worth building and finishing. Your guitar playing and vocals are strong, the arrangement is good, and the sound quality is clear. The song is slightly reminiscient of the Dan Fogleberg genre of the 70s, with a hint of the mellow vibe found in one of his songs like "Longer". You've composed a solid song that you should finish, IMHO. Nice work! 😀
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Hi @jrandolph
Beautifully recorded guitar. A lovely melody and vocal. The panning delay took me quite by surprise! 😁 I'd love to hear a 'finished' version. I wish I could record something so delicate.
CCB
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Thanks everyone for listening and for your comments! I'm now inspired to revisit and finish it. Thanks again!
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Howdy, Stranger!