Relentless

This is one of my more recently recorded songs. My old roommate (who I used to write with) came into town last year and told me he booked time at a studio. It was in a very wealthy guys house near my city but he had some great equipment. Anyways this song was something I had written over the course of maybe a year, I had come up with all the parts for it but hadn't put anything down in terms of recording it.
I recorded all the parts - started with guitar, then drums, then added some more guitar to it to clean it up, then used this small keyboard I found at an estate sale (interesting sound in my opinion) then I did Bass and lastly vocals. At the time I was still getting over a cold and my throat was very tender. I wasn't happy with the vocals but the tech never sent me the master so this is all I have. If he did I would have re-recorded them. All together we had an 8 hour session and I took 4 hours to record this. I wish I had spent more time but overall I am happy with the instruments just wish I had redone the vocals and mixed them myself. I think he left too much low end in the mixing.
Lyrics;
You float in
Unwanted
The smile on your face
So Haunted
With cigarettes for teeth
The Devil in daydreams
And moments you've stolen away
Tell me
How much longer
You've beat many men
Much stronger
Like buzzards on the sea
You went and took the lead
Without ever knowing the way
Relentless melodies
Floating in the sea
Relentless
Uneasy
You start every day
So queasy
A lullaby for me
Harmonious banshees
They Float in
Eroded hall of misery
Comments
-
Can't say I got the message, but I can say, I enjoyed the song very much indeed.
It is simply a beautiful piece that picks you up and transports you away to some far off place.
Music and vocals perfect.
One to be proud of this,
well done,
Sid
1 -
A Jezebel, indeed, this woman you write about. At least that's what I got out of your lyric. Now, for a listen.
Good to meet you,
Renee
0 -
Good song!
I think you're right about having the bass a touch lower, though it's not bad as is. I like the keyboard , almost a fairground sound.
I would probably have the intro a touch shorter.
With cigarettes for teeth
The Devil in daydreams
love those lines!
Lovely work.
0 -
I like the bass where it is, but then I'm a bass player first and foremost - so I would!!. Not quite sure what to make of this one if I'm honest. It's clever musically but it's probably just that I don't understand it.
0 -
I guess I should explain the lyrics a little since I seem to have caused some confusion. Essentially my attempt was to personify looming panic attacks and the thought processes that come with them.
Panic attacks floating in unwanted, wicked intentions.
Cigarettes for teeth - blowing smoke, basically your thoughts lying to you.
How these thought patterns are relentless
A lot of my panic attacks were triggered by my ears ringing, which is the "Harmonious Banshees".
The "eroded hall of misery" is just those continuous thought patterns one gets stuck in.
I didn't want to initially explain the lyrics and leave them up for interpretation. These are more along the lines of a coded journal entry.
2 -
In any case, the lyric has to stand alone.
0 -
@OutOfTowner man o man, I missed your point terribly. So sorry! I guess I mistook "You've beat many men" as in a woman bludgeoning men. (so happy there's a spellcheck on here!) 😊
over & out,
hummer
0 -
While I agree in some cases it’s important have coherent lyrics in other cases it’s irrelevant. A lot of prolific lyricists use metaphors because they sound cool but not exactly have a ton of meaning.
I’m a music first kind of person when it comes to writing and listening. Funny enough these are some of the favorite lyrics I’ve written that I’m definitely getting mixed feelings about.
I can appreciate how @HummerWisdom interpreted them as a Jezebel type woman as it is mostly what I was going for. A sinister type of character.
Perhaps I can reign it in a little on the next one 😂0 -
We all write songs here for different reasons, some because they see a commercial opportunity, others, like myself, as no more than a hobby, some use it to exorcise demons, past and present. Whatever the reason it's personal. Sharing with others, is sometimes part of the process of rehabilitation. I think what I'm saying is, maybe I don't need to understand the meaning in the words, but just accept they mean something to the writer and leave it at that.
I wish you well in managing your ailment, and thank you for sharing your thoughts,
Sid
1 -
@sidshovel I think we write for the same reasons Sid. Thanks for the well wishes. As of late I’ve been doing well managing anxieties. It was a kind of new thing that popped up the last few years so writing about it was somewhat of identifying what was going on. Though I guess all us artists kind of long for some deep sadness to draw creativity from1
-
Another fantastic tune, @OutOfTowner.
I really like the whistling opening, and it transitions very well into the main rhythm of the song - a transition just jarring enough to be interesting without being off-putting! I like the simple instrumentation, the melody as always is right up my street, and I think your voice suits it very well.
My only suggestion on first listen is it could be really cool to have some lush harmonies join in on the chorus (the "relentless melodies / floating in the sea" bit) and then stick around for the last verse through to the end.
1 -
I 100% agree with some good harmonies in this to sort of build on top of the song @mattyoung I guess its time to continue pestering the engineer from the studio to send me the mix
0 -
This one is deep, the first verse blew me away when i read before listening. The funny thing is your melody came to me as I read it and that almost never happens. This is something to be proud of.
0 -
I've listened to this several times. It's starting to grow on me! The more I listen, the more I like it! Melody, lyrics and vocals come together nicely Well Done!
0
Howdy, Stranger!