You should have listened to mama
This is another older song revisited with a Suno cover. Was cool to hear a female vocal on this one.
You should a listened to mama
Words & Music Owen Hovenden
Cover by Suno AI: https://suno.com/s/fzQQ4xAQmG21wuJU
Original recording: https://soundcloud.com/rainydayman/should-a-listened-to-mama?si=f7d5ab4af24c409c9c3bfcc78e64b064&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
Storm clouds brewing on my back porch
Thunder rumblin, bitchin and grumbling
Tempers flare like a blowtorch
The blues tattooed on your shoulders and arms
Men ain't nothing but walking trouble
A child of sorrow and vice
You should a listened to mama baby
Kept them outa your life
Your daddy left before you was born
He was a rambler, drinker and gambler
Weren't sorry to see him gone
Spent my money, squandered my love
Men ain't nothing but walking trouble
A child of heartache and spite
You should a listened to mama baby
Mama knows what it's like
I gotta baseball bat at the back door
Carving knife in my kitchen drawer
No smooth talkin liar with a sinful desire
Slip past me or set a foot in the door
Hush now child you're safe and warm
Here in mama's arms keep you safe from harm
There's an end to every storm,
Hold your head up high, baby don't you cry
Men ain't nothing but walking trouble
A child of struggle and strife
You should a listened to mama baby
Take my advice
You should a listened to mama baby
Keep them outa your life
Comments
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Ok, the lyrics need work, as to me they lack any emotion. take a simple man by lynyrd skynyrd, it's written as a conversation. In respect to the music, I like your rendition better, because it's rawness suites the lyrics.
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pretty much , bad boys are trouble , For some reason some women love them in early 20ties , then find mister rogers at 33 to marry
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Bravo!
What a great contrast for discussion. You, as a writer, must be absolutely thrilled and happy with that "cover"
Admittingly, Suno can make ANYTHING sound good, but suno CAN"T make the writing better.
Your song shines, and the writing really makes it possible.
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What is it about the writing that you see that I don't? It's not bad writing, but it's generic. if you take cohen, the trio, or other folk artist, they weave a story, I'm not trying to be inflammatory; I really want to know.
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Well mama may know best, but you've also got to live and learn...
Sounds good to me...
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the female vocal is the way to go on this one, fits and sounds cool.
the last half of the song i feel is stronger than the first, with the internal rhymes, slant rhymes. then cry in the verse with strife in the chorus.
that being said couple things i noticed to consider:
"Here in mama's arms keep you safe from harm". maybe something like : 'Held strong here in mamas arms'. keeps the rhyme and is a little tighter line.
one other suggestion, keeps the meaning but hide the cliche saying ('baby don't you cry' )==> Don't you cry, baby hold your head up high.
👍️
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Interesting! Controversial one here!
@bhengen Lack of emotion eh? Ok, I see where you are coming from. I'll ponder that one.
@ElvisNash There's something in that! Though I was lucky enough to marry my wife at 22 and we are still together 40 years later. Does that make me Mr Rogers? Perhaps it does!
@IronKnee Thanks Tom! I think we are on the same page about how to use Suno. I really enjoy hearing it come out polished, but still recognizably mine. Thanks for the compliment.
@Tex Experience is a great teacher! Thanks for the listen and the comment! :)
@MuskieBait44 Yes it was intended for a female vocal originally. Maybe a bit older than the one Suno used, but I wasn't going to throw that track away! For me "Held strong here in mama's arms" has too many syllables and would feel just a bit crowded in that spot. And I don't mind the cliche. "Baby don't you cry" feels better to me in the context of a mother talking to her hurting daughter than used elsewhere. But I am truly grateful to you for the suggestions. Thank you for trying to help me improve this song!
As always gang, you give me much to think about! Thank you all. 😁
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probably man ha ha , nothing wrong with that
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@MuskieBait44 (and anyone else who cares to!) It's a good exercise to try writing a song from the perspective of the opposite sex. Give it a go!
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no doubt there's sumpin wrong with me. The original version keeps me enthralled in the lead voice and the well known, mama talking to a son and do right, story line. Something bout the male voice makes it more believable. And I'm a believer...in teach me...moma, or sombody. But the artificial voice just...well...
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I disagree , it a chick song
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@StoneFlowers Ha! Well I'm glad you enjoyed one of the versions! It's the same song either way :)
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Well, B... as amateur musicians, it's hard for the writing to shine through mediocre musical skills. it's something I've struggled with my whole life. The one thing I am good at is writing... Not singing, not guitar playing, not producing. But I trust that I can write.
With suno, the song isn't buried under my insufficiencies.... and so, they shine. People are lulled into listening when the performances and productions are great... the chances of anyone recognizing a good song without our suno "treatment" is very low. I know this from personal experience.
I'm positive that Rainy is happy to hear his song the way it is meant... I know I am.
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I think it’s okay if someone doesn’t like the song or the lyrics. It’s almost impossible for everyone to like the same thing. One person may not like it, but someone else will like and that’s totally fine. For me it’s good. We’re here to help each other tho.
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My comment has absolutely nothing to do with Suno at all. I'm talking purely about his lyrics. TBH, I gave the Suno's version 2 seconds before I shut it off.. I did listen to his original version. AND THIS IS MY OPINION, that's all, when you put a song up on a forum for critique, it will get critiqued. All of these critiques are opinions, that's all. Owen is writing it from the outside in. He has a redundant repeating motif - Men ain't nothing but walking trouble, but it never advances, just variations on the same subject. He's telling more than showing. Yes, we get men are bad and the cheat and steal. Folk writers are story tellers, so tell a story :)
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Yes, you're absolutely encouraged to share your opinion! That's what we're here for. And I agree that your comments are about the lyric, not AI.
This one isn't done in a storytelling style as you know. It's done in 3 scenes, but I do think there's some progression there. It starts with the daughter fighting her lover/boyfriend/husband on the porch. It then moves to the mother describing how she herself has suffered similarly. And it ends with her comforting her and and an end to the incident.
Emotionally, it isn't a wail, because it's written from the mother's perspective not the daughter's. The mother's emotions are protective with more than a hint of "I told you so" in there. She's the calm not the storm.
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Yes, I see that, but you're speaking in generalities - He was a rambler, drinker and gambler, yes, we get that, but what did he do? that's telling us what he did and not showing what he did. thanks for the clarification :)
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Yes, I see that, but you're speaking in generalities - He was a rambler, drinker and gambler, yes, we get that, but what did he do? that's telling us what he did and not showing what he did
True!
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I like this song - I think it works better in a female voice -
I think adding the "you should have listened to mama" as a chorus a couple times during the song would work well
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@jgkojak That's an interesting suggestion. Thanks! I'll consider that. And yes, it really was written for a female vocalist.
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Pero bueno, he llegado tarde? I am late? haha Sorry, I thought I commented before but... here I am listening to your Suno version, la verdad es que suena muy bien, what can I say, sounds fabulous!ª I will become very depressed hahaha my arrangements so so so so but we are talking about your song, wonderful and funny lyrics!!! IU think all mamas say the same ahha
Stay well
Mora
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Thanks Mora! Your songs and videos are amazing! You and Marcus are amazingly creative! But I'm glad you enjoyed this one too 😀
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Late to the party for this one. I've decided just to listen to the AI as I'm thinking this is the finished version. Yeah, I love this. You've hired yourself a great singer!! That's not me having a swipe at AI btw, I think the vocal really makes this song. I can hear some of your guitar ideas in the instrumentation and it works well. A really cool song Owen. I enjoyed that.😀
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Thank you Chris! And may I say kudos for listening to the AI version and framing it the way you did. It's a nuanced reply without invalidating your overall preference for live music.
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Howdy, Stranger!