Foray!

[Deleted User]

Always thought there was a rap song in this, I revisted and split the difference, for one verse Rock one rap .

My lyrics into Ai

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=15086325

Well, I've been behind
in the grind of the people's mind
left for dead, left unsaid, unlike fermenting wine
been losing favor all the time

Well, I had some flings
music sings and it brings me to think of things
wont forget, no regrets, they wore angels wings
now a distant angel's calling

Foray, Foray
im risin up a brand new day eh eh eh
Foray, Foray, Foray

Foray, Foray
Im takin back the world today eh eh eh
Foray, Foray, Foray

Yeah, it's been hard
every card is a shard every face is marred
feelin old, feelin cold, dont let down your guard
keep on dreamin to prevent the scars

Hope you found a home
all your own, not alone, hope they never roam
i'll be there in the glare of the victory chrome
groove to my own metronome

Foray, Foray
im risin up a brand new day eh eh eh
Foray, Foray, Foray

Foray, Foray
Im takin back the world today eh eh eh
Foray, Foray, Foray

RainyDayMan

Whilst both versions work, I think the rap verse is definitely ahead.

I'm less keen on the lyric of the chorus. Not sure it's really saying anything, though it sounds quite good, and that's certainly half the battle. It does give a feeling of power and energy though.

[Deleted User]

@RainyDayMan

Thanks I disagree though, The chorus is saying alot actually,sunning up the verses.

The word foray is not used much, I started with that word cause I thought it sounded good knowing the meaning of the word helps I think

But. Being inspired, to get back in the race, fight for your happiness, not going down without a fight I think says a whole lot.

Thanks for listening as usual..

RainyDayMan

No problem Domd! I think you have a good sense of what you want for your songwriting.

[Deleted User]

Thanks, always good to hear your thoughts.