Turn Off These Lights

IronKnee

Here is a song I wrote about 12 years ago and produced a suno demo of it.

Check them both out.

Tell me what you think

Turn Off These Lights

By Tom Tognaci

Here is my home recording: https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12366111

Here is the Demo: https://soundcloud.com/ironknee-877134982/turn-off-these-lights-demo?si=49fb7d4dc29c40e6846346bbf8d6ee2a&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

 

I’m sleeping with the lights on

I keep the radio on

‘Cause I can’t stand this empty room

You once wrote you’re leaving,

That all the pain I’m grieving

Will be behind me, one day soon

 

But still, I can’t forget you

No matter how I try

I wish I could forget you

And turn off these lights

 

Most nights, I’m up all hours

Wondering if she’s ours

Was that new baby in your plan?

Now, I know I’ve been drinking

But, how long were you thinking

I was more a tool, than your man?  

 

And, still I can’t forget you

No matter how I try

I wish I could forget you

And turn off these lights

 

Thoughts bump in the night, they circle me like a starving shark

While memories, of her, bite at me from the dark…….

 

……and so,

I’m sleeping with the lights on  

I keep the radio on  

‘Cause I can’t stand this empty room  

Your favorite song keeps playing

And, while it’s just me saying

I’d swear I’m smelling your perfume

 

‘Cause, still I can’t forget you

No matter how I try

I wish I could forget you

And turn off these lights

bhengen

@IronKnee - I like your version better. you have emotion behind the words.. the melody is ok with the Suno, version, but yours is rawer, which gives it character

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15103#Comment_15103

 Thanks for the very generous words, bhengen.

When I was young, I tried to be the Beatles and Pink Floyd. I had a band and everything. That quickly morphed into a go at being Simon and Garfunkel. That lasted for quite a while, before crashing and burning. As a solo performer, I never got use to the looks I got, as I must have grown two heads.

 All I want to be known as is a songwriter. I don't want to hear, after all these years, that I'm some great performer. I'm not. While my performances are truly mediocre, I know the truth by my struggle against it, and I know I can write a good song. I'm just trying to prove it with these demos.

bhengen

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15108#Comment_15108

Take a look at Neil Young and Dylan. I don't think either of them has that great of a voice, but they do write great songs and melodies. You may think you're not a great performer, but it's more than just any one thing that makes a song. Take positively 4th street by Dylan. the first time I heard that, I thought it was a dredge. but when I read the lyrics, it put the song in a different light.

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15109#Comment_15109

Both of them had great careers, and both were celebrated as great writers.

bhengen

@IronKnee -both of them was timing. they wrote protest songs and part of a protest movement.

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15112#Comment_15112

And everyone loves my protest songs!

LOL

ElvisNash

I like the home recording better

But again Suno does good job

[Deleted User]

Bob Dylan and Neil Young have instantly identifiable voices. Many impersonators do them cause of that.

And Dylan's a much better singer than he gets credit for. Always on pitch before pitch correction.

You dont need suno any more than you need your own demo. None of us do

So it's about what you want from it. The suno version is better obviously but that's mostly cause it has the tech to do it well and fast.

We don't.

Nice job I gotta start doing covers

ElvisNash

Suno is here if you can't sing or play guitar. You don't need Suno Tom

RainyDayMan

Great song! First thing I'd say is that you can hear the quality of the song in both versions. If the songwriting aspect is your focus, either version is going to work to display that.

The Suno version is more polished. If you want polished. I think what Bill and Elvis (and myself!) like in your version is the raw edge to it. It feels real. It feels emotional. It feels powerful, and we react to that.

No idea which version might get you more listeners though.

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15114#Comment_15114

I'm a bit surprised with you... but I'll take the compliment, anyways.

Thanks!

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15118#Comment_15118

Thanks, Rainy... but there is NO DOUBT what regular, non-writer, non-musician, and non-producing person would reach for first.

Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you like the song.

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15116#Comment_15116

Hey there Domd,

I never cared for the suno "writing" aspects. That is, the writing of melodies and lyrics, and musical concepts. But the "cover" feature is a game changer for me.

And yes, I do need demos. I have no want to play around with little cafe gigs. I'm not 20, and Rock-star handsome anymore.

And while the tech has been there for decades and decades, it's now fast, inexpensive, and user-friendly.

ElvisNash

I'm not sure why your surprised , Your live take is better than robots

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15122#Comment_15122

You have better ears than I then... I can't hear the clicks and the clatter. I only hear a great sound!

ElvisNash

Suno Suno Suno , thats all you hear now from everybody on forums and the net

IronKnee

Funny.... don't have to mention SUNO with a paid account!

Do you ever sleep?

ElvisNash

now that I'm not doing music , I sleep more , I wish I would have stopped 10 years ago

IronKnee

I'll be writing till there's nothing left to write about.

ElvisNash

Well you have zero investment , so write and sing as much as you want

[Deleted User]

I've done many songs with ai using my lyrics, mostly lyrics that were already full songs. I've never felt ai tune was clearly better than my own
Where it destroys me is in the production, arrangement which is super important how you frame the melody and i can't compete with the sound

It all goes back to the idea that the production and recording was always available for a price.
..now because everybody sounds great, but I don't find myself listening to the songs on forums twice

There's been a few songs on forums that were so good I listened dozens of times.

i think ai gives writers the illusion that what they write is great.

When everybody has the same capabilities the song is still the most important thing.

Today's radio is so bad anything is better than it

But all ai is doing is packaging the song. If you open it and see a lump of coal it's still a lump of coal

guyetrep

If your original song is great, Suno will make a great product.

Try this:

Give Suno only your lyrics and a simple prompt: acoustic.

I think that you will prefer your original song over Suno...

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15133#Comment_15133

Thanks, Guy... you understand how it works. That is why I am so excited to put my music to the test.

Hey there Guy..... I've been listening to suno generated melodies and have a hard time commenting. I don't like disappointing people. I don't hear much, at all, in the suno melody making. The lyrics aren't all that, as well. Suno lyrics seem to gravitate towards heavy metaphorical poetry that gets "married" to generic sounding melodies.

bhengen

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15134#Comment_15134

That's why I don't use Suno to generate my lyrics, because a lot of it is nonsense. The same with ChatGPT, and the other AI, apps. most of what is produced is gibberish

IronKnee

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/15135#Comment_15135

Amen!