My True Loves (The Hummingbird Song)

Thanks to Bill @bhengen 's song, "Me, The Hummingbird" which reminded me to rewrite my hummingbird song of which, if memory serves I started back in 2023.
My question on this one, is it okay, that in the lyric I didn't mention hummingbirds leaving it up to the listener to decipher that it's hummingbirds I'm speaking of? Or, should I mention them? I purposely subtitled the song due to the omission. Thank you for your feedback.
Looking back at previous versions, I may need to go back to the drawing board as I seldom look back when rewriting. On this one, I should have tho' I do like the way the rhyme-scheme in the verses falls on this one the best. So, here she is at this moment (subject to change)!
For a listen ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/my-true-loves-the-hummingbird
MY TRUE LOVES (The Hummingbird Song)
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
[Verse 1]
Hangin’ out on my front porch
Saturday, the middle of June
Not one single cloud in the sky
Singin’ a lonesome tune
Bleeding hearts and butterfly bushes
Coming to full bloom
Feeders cleaned and ready to hang
My true loves will arrive soon
[Chorus]
My true loves, where could you be now?
My true loves, I’m missing you and how
[Verse 2]
The way your wings flutter
Brings goosebumps an’ butterflies
The way you move forward and backward
A miracle in disguise
That chittering sound you make
The way you descend and rise
That lovely dance you do
Before my very eyes
[Chorus]
My true loves, where could you be now?
My true loves, I’m missing you and how
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
[Verse 3]
Your journey is long and arduous
That much I know is true
I hope you make it here in one piece
Be mindful whatever you do
‘Cuz summer wouldn’t be summer
Without the likes of you
And the last of you I saw in September
Left my brown eyes blue
[Chorus]
My true loves, where could you be now?
My true loves, I’m missing you and how
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
[Chorus]
My true loves, where could you be now?
My true loves, I’m missing you and how
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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@HummerWisdom - verse 2, to me outlines what you are talking about. the movement of the hummingbird. I'd leave it as is.. it says what you need to say :)
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That’s right in the pocket Renee
Good job on this1 -
I like this one. It has a simple sweetness to it that just works.
There's plenty of songs where the title doesn't appear in the lyric.
If you use the title you have above, with "The Hummingbird Song" in brackets then everyone will know 100%.
If you remove that and leave it a bit of mystery I think it still works. With these lines:
The way you descend and rise
The way you move forward and backward
I think people will work it out. And it's 100% clear that it's about birds. So I'd go that way.
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It's got everything a listener needs. If you wanted to play cryptic, drop the Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh's for Mmmmmm's as in humming.
Sid
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@sidshovel mmmmm....now, why didn't I think of that?!
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Great stuff. I don't know why but I've missed out on your songs..sorry, my mistake. Love to hear a single voice and guitar. Great lyrics too. Lovely song.
Keep 'em comin'😀
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@ChrisPrice thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words. Truly means a lot to me,
Renee
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No doubt this is about hummingbirds, Pretty cool, I wouldn't change a thing
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@Barry thanks so much for your thoughts!
Renee
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