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I can't take it (please critique)
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Aug 20th, 2006 04:24 pm
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Tom Solanto
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I was wondering if I was on track or out of my mind with this song..

Vocally I am off in three or four spots …

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=4329080&q=lo
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=4329080&q=hi

V1
My mind’s exploding, I can’t contain it all within
I need release from this world and all its pain

Storms rising from the inner parts of me
And I know....… ....Oh.....… I know

CH
I cant take it
God this pressure in my life
I cant take it
I’m thinking suicide
So Lord touch me
Before I hurt myself
I need a resurrection
I need a resurrection
In my life,
Cause I can’t take it

V2
Nothin’ changing these crashing waves are tossing me
And I’m feeling nothing..… feelin’ nothing...nothing

You say you’ll give me everything I need
But where are you Lord Why don’t you see me?

CH
I cant take it
God this pressure in my life
I cant take it
I’m thinking suicide
So Lord touch me
Before I hurt myself
I need a resurrection
I need a resurrection
In my life,
Cause I can’t take it

Br
Can you restore me in this difficult time?
Even if I doubt you can?
Is there healing in Your promise
Am I too much a broken man?

(dont know what to call this) Its not a bridge, not a verse its a ?
Jesus said
My child, I’m here
Even when you don’t feel me
I will never give you more
Than you can bear
You need to grow
With it comes some pain
Turn back to Me
And you will see
You can take it

I can take it
God this pressure in my life
I can take it
Now the pain can subside
Lord you touched me
Before I hurt myself
You gave me resurrection
You gave me resurrection
In my life,
Now I can take it

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 Posted: Thu Aug 24th, 2006 10:05 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Tom, you remind me a little bit of Larry Norman -- the father of contemporary Christian music.  It was his first albums that inspired me to try and write.  He was a renegade at that time and even his music was banned by some churches from even being played.  If you do not know who this man is/was, here is a link to his site.  He lives right here in the same town as me.  His health is not good and he has trouble even singing anymore.  I'm not certain if the last benefit concert was even held.

http://www.larrynorman.com/main.html

As he said in one of his songs, "Why should the Devil have all the good music?"

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 Posted: Thu Aug 24th, 2006 10:40 pm
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Tom Solanto
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Wow yes I know him.... from way back .. he and Randy Stonehill come to mind from that era.. I am sad that he is not doing well.... man Larry Norman..  I have not thought of him is some time..

Thank you for that..

TOm

 

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 Posted: Thu Aug 31st, 2006 02:28 am
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johnnybgoode
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good thread Tom on a common theme in a christians life. You were there just a minute ago and then I turned around and you were gone. The poem footprints responds  well to this problem and I like the honesty in your song Johnny

Last edited on Thu Aug 31st, 2006 02:29 am by johnnybgoode

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 Posted: Sun Nov 26th, 2006 10:23 pm
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kimbomc
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Ok, if you're like me (which I have no clue if you are), then you appreciate honest critiques(not saying anyone else's opinion is less than that).  I initially viewed this song when you first posted, but I shyed away from posting a comment, because I the lyrics were too vivid for me.  I think the message of the song is very real, just think some phrases could be said w/out being so blatant.  Such as...

I cant take it
God this pressure in my life                
I cant take it 
I’m thinking suicide                      or.... All I'm thinking is why oh why
So Lord touch me
Before I hurt myself                     or.... Before everything ends wrong          
I need a resurrection
I need a resurrection                   or.... your protection 
In my life,
Cause I can’t take it

Hopefully you don't mind the observation...you are the songwriter so ultimately you have to listen to your own heart.  Good luck, Kim

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 Posted: Sun Nov 26th, 2006 10:38 pm
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Tom Solanto
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Hey Kim LOL I thought this was a dead song...

Thank you so much for comenting and speaking what you feel...

I have had many critiques on this song from other forums and some said what you did and some just left it alone.. Some thought I was about to kill myself too but that is not the case..

For some reason I just want to leave this as it stands. Its a tough subject, I know and I felt I just wanted to be honest about the way it comes through with no punches held back I gues you could say..

I really respect your opinion and thank you for offering it.. Thanks so much..

 

TOm

 

 

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 Posted: Sun Nov 26th, 2006 11:09 pm
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kimbomc
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Welcome!:)

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 Posted: Sun Aug 19th, 2007 04:15 pm
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terrypicker
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Tom, This song is a tuff one to call.

However, it is a real one that comes up in a lot of lives every day.  Could make a very good Reality check- point, for some people.  :D



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