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SongWriter2947
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Very Bluesy Number....

"Barrel of a Gun" Copyright Rob Young/Richard Keener 2011

http://www.soundclick.com/robyoung2947

Verse 1

The town folk they all wondered
what ever happened to that boy
it seemed like only yesterday
he was playing with his toys

Verse 2

Some folks blamed his parents
maybe it was his father that was too hard
and some call it simple fate
it was just in his cards

Chorus

He'll charm you with a smile
that shines as bright as the sun
but he'll take what he's after
behind the barrel of a gun

Verse 3

The night time calling
it was too much too resist
he was drawn in by an evil women
posion kiss

Verse 4

a store out on the corner
He wrote a note to withdraw
and he shot all the witness's
in his way that he saw

- Repeat Chorus -

Verse 5

His silver tounge will disarm you
make you feel like nothings wrong
but before you'll ever notice
everything you own is gone

Verse 6

Fair warning and be careful
just a word to all the wise
you should never listen
to a wanted man's lies

- Repeat Chorus -

Last edited on Thu Sep 6th, 2012 02:04 am by SongWriter2947

Janke
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I like this a lot. But verse 4 kind of left me scratching my head. This is another piece that I could hear as a movie theme. Dark, a little sleepy, a little edgy. Yep, like it.

SongWriter2947
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Hey Mike thanks for the feedback. Yeah verse 4 isn't as straight forward as the others. Basically he's holding up the corner store and shooting everyone. Its such a short meter to fit the image in. This started as an instrumental and collaboration last Saturday and the song idea followed and I posted it up on Jamwave on Monday. So it was fairly quick. I think your right film would be the way to go with this.

SundownSam
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Movie material for sure!!! :cool: This sounds really good, Rob! You sing blues well ol' friend! Great story telling in both the lyric and in the presentation.  :cool: Also..kudos to Richard's bluesy guitar playing... it was the perfect touch!  :) 

Mike Stacey
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I like the song i have see this story with people so deffintly one I can relate to nice wright

SongWriter2947
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Sara Thanks. I was surprised I could get such a bluesy voice since I stopped smoking two years ago. Maybe its just the 50 year old voice coming thru. LOL!

Mike thanks bro'. Unfortunately there are all too many kids in that situation. Thank you for the feedback.

Arthur Holt
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Hey Rob, laid back and bluesy , the story of people out of work and on hard times , and watch out for evil women, enjoyed the listen .Richard  did great on guitar :)

SongWriter2947
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Thanks Art for taking the time to listen. Glad you enjoyed it.

Seamus
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I like this a lot well done good job.

Kel
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Hi guys,

Can't fault the playing or the production, but for me, it was a little slow getting into the song... I almost flicked off during the intro.

The biggest thing for me though is there seems to be no discernable difference between the verses and the chorus.
I'd suggest a different rhythm there, and perhaps a rise in the melody.

The link between meeting the evil woman and robbing the store I think needs to be stronger... why did meeting her lead him to do that?

I don't quite get if you are trying to paint this guy as a bandit or a con-man. The chorus and the warnings in Verses 5 and 6 point to the latter, leaving me wondering why you have him robbing the store and killing all witnesses.

Perhaps bring verses 5 and 6 in earlier, and have a bridge about why he changes from a smooth talking con artist to a murderous bandit?

I like the overall tone, but the story seems a little confusing to me.

Cheers,
Kel


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