The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

Broken Glass
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Mon Jun 13th, 2011 02:21 am
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Link to play song:


http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/

http://www.soundclick.com/robyoung2947


"Broken Glass" Copyright 2011 Rob Young


Verse 1


Its been dark around here

like the suns going down

It's all because you

ain't been around


Verse 2


Thought I'd go into town

but that was too hard to do

cuz every place that I went to

reminds me of you


Chorus


People notice they can see it my face

they don't even have to ask

now I'm stuck looking for an answer

and my hearts like a broken glass

feels like a broken glass


Verse 3


Is it something stupid I said?

thats fairly easy for me

but believe me

I didn't want to see you leave


Verse 4


I see your face in my drink

with the drops of my tears

nothing left but to face

my lonely fears


Chorus


People notice they can see it my face

they don't even have to ask

now I'm stuck looking for an answer

and my hearts like a broken glass

feels like a broken glass

Last edited on Sun Nov 25th, 2012 03:38 pm by SongWriter2947



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sat Jul 2nd, 2011 09:34 am
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
Janke
Contributor


Joined: Fri Jul 9th, 2010
Location: Harpers Ferry, USA
Posts: 1119
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Really nice mood set with the music, Rob. Nice story, tight lyrics, muted, not overstated. The only part that took me out was 'I see your face in my drink, with the drops of my tears.' I get the image, no question, but I think poetically that one line could be worded better. 'I see' and 'with' seems a little awkward. Not exactly sure what to suggest, maybe 'I mix your face..' or 'I kiss you face...' Seems like it would call for a more physical action than seeing to say 'with the drops of my tears.' But that's just one line and only a little food for thought. Love it. Nice 'noir' piece. Thanks for sharing.

Back To Top


 Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2012 12:44 am
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
MichaelForbes
Member
 

Joined: Fri Aug 10th, 2012
Location: Port Reading , New Jersey USA
Posts: 35
Favorite Artist: Beatles; Mamas and the Papas; Maroon 5; Katy Perry
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Rob...

Jamwave won't let me onto the site without a log-in. Any other place I can hear it?



____________________
Michael

http://soundcloud.com/michael-forbes-5
Back To Top 


 Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2012 08:26 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
hardtwistmusic
Member


Joined: Sun Jan 8th, 2012
Location: Salem, Oregon USA
Posts: 679
Favorite Artist: Far too many to list
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
This sings really easy and well. Finding a tune was just natural while singing it.

And I could find several alternate tunes just as easily. To me that says the lyric is written well and would fit a multitude of tunes.

Very well done imo.



____________________
http://www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

http://www.myspace.com/hardtwistsongs/
Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Aug 18th, 2012 12:40 pm
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
Troy33
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008
Location: New Hampshire USA
Posts: 4848
Favorite Artist: Rush, Yes, John Mayer, James Taylor, Pink Floyd, Stanley Clark
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Hey Rob,

As a Jamwave member I was able to hear this.  Nice groove to this one!

Would you like to post the song on this thread so all can hear? If so send it along to troy@thesongwritersforum.com

Troy



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/another-log-on-the-fire
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/if-it-rains-on-christmas
http://www.reverbnation.com/troydouglas
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sun Aug 19th, 2012 02:44 am
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Troy: Thanks I went ahead and changed the link to my soundclick page so people can now listen..I appreciate you offering. Looks like their getting ready to shut the lights off at Jamwave now.

Michael and HardTwistMusic: thanks for your interest and comments on the song. Sorry I didn't respond sooner but I haven't been around in awhile. Anyways a belated welcome to TSF!

- Rob

http://www.soundclick.com/robyoung2947

:Guitarman1:

Last edited on Sun Aug 19th, 2012 02:45 am by SongWriter2947



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top


 Posted: Sun Aug 19th, 2012 03:01 am
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
Troy33
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008
Location: New Hampshire USA
Posts: 4848
Favorite Artist: Rush, Yes, John Mayer, James Taylor, Pink Floyd, Stanley Clark
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
You're welcome, Rob. Yes... Jamwave seems to be shutting down the site pretty soon. That's too bad.



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/another-log-on-the-fire
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/if-it-rains-on-christmas
http://www.reverbnation.com/troydouglas
Back To Top 


 Posted: Wed Nov 21st, 2012 05:00 pm
  PMQuoteReply
8th Post
Jim Colyer
Member


Joined: Wed Apr 11th, 2007
Location: Nashville, Tennessee USA
Posts: 1746
Favorite Artist: ABBA
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Rob,

Lots of atmosphere here! Simple words, but you blend them into the melody very well. I tweeted you.

Jim



____________________
Annie Bushmeyer CD
http://www.jimcolyer.com
Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Nov 24th, 2012 09:29 pm
  PMQuoteReply
9th Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks Jim appreciate it.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sun Nov 25th, 2012 01:13 pm
  PMQuoteReply
10th Post
SundownSam
Super Moderator


Joined: Thu Jul 24th, 2008
Location: Ellenwood , Georgia USA
Posts: 7967
Favorite Artist: Danny, James, Dennis, Charles, Rob, Don, Art, John, Mike ...
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Geez! I thought I had already commented on this one, Rob! Sorry about that! :( But it sounds great! I have always, always loved your style of music! I really like the lyrics on this one too!!! You did a great job of telling us (and leading up to) why his heart feels like a broken glass. Very nicely done all around, Rob. :cool: Enjoyed listening.



____________________
First you write it with your heart - then you re-write it with your head

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=1021080







Back To Top


 Posted: Sun Nov 25th, 2012 03:45 pm
  PMQuoteReply
11th Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks Sara.... this one was done about a year and a half ago. A few TSF members have bumped it back up. If I remember right I wrote the lyrics as I created each part of the song and just kind of let it evolve on its own. Thanks for the comments.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top 


 Posted: Tue Nov 27th, 2012 05:16 pm
  PMQuoteReply
12th Post
Donna
Member


Joined: Mon Sep 1st, 2008
Location: Delft, Netherlands
Posts: 373
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
I really like the groove here, Rob. I hear a little bluesy funk in it as well. ;)

Nice lyric too, simple and straightforward.

Donna;)



____________________
Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend
Back To Top


 Posted: Sun Dec 2nd, 2012 05:59 pm
  PMQuoteReply
13th Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks Donna. Falling into a groove thats bluesy funk is one of my favorite things to do. Thanks for listening and commenting.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top 


Current time is 06:37 am

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1722 seconds (7% database + 93% PHP). 25 queries executed.