The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank  
AuthorPost
Allycat11
Member
 

Joined: Mon Apr 4th, 2011
Location: Kaysville, Utah USA
Posts: 3
Favorite Artist: Taylor Swift, Colbie Calliet, and many other artist
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Someone once told me
The world was tough
You had to stick it out
When the going gets rough
No one ever said
That it would be lonely
Those things will seem easy
But you aren’t the only
Somewhere deep inside
We are drawn together
Destined to be one
Our love to live forever
Some may say it’s impossible
But with you by my side
I say we can do it
So come along for this ride
Holding hands
As we push and pull each other
Helping one another
Through this storm
You will be my light
At the end of the tunnel
I will be your guide
Our love will not be torn
Somewhere deep inside
We are drawn together
Destined to be one
Our love to live forever
Some may say it’s impossible
But with you by my side
I say we can do it
So come along for this ride
As we take this journey
Always remember
You have me and I have you
And our love will live forever
Our love will live forever
Somewhere deep inside
We are drawn together
Destined to be one
Our love to live forever
Some may say it’s impossible
But with you by my side
I say we can do it
So come along for this ride
Someone once told me
The world was tough
And you had to stick it out
When the going get rough
So come along for this ride

blukatnga
Member


Joined: Fri Oct 16th, 2009
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 867
Favorite Artist: Percy Sledge, Steve Wariner,Cat Stevens,Lynard Skynyard,Nickelback
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Allycat, Whew ! Take a breath dude/dudette !! It is very evident to me that you have a great way with words. Your work is not self indulgent (which is really nice) and your metre is in there somewhere and it "feels" good to me. I might suggest, in order to get more feedback here would be to titleize your work, clearly break up and identify the verses and do the same for the chorus especially if this is a country tune. When everything runs together like this one, it is a hard read....feel me? I would love to see this organized in a song format cause I'm certain I will dig it !!

terrypicker
Member


Joined: Sun Jul 22nd, 2007
Location: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Posts: 2614
Favorite Artist: Country/Folk/Gospel/Christian Artists
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
blukatnga wrote: Allycat, Whew ! Take a breath dude/dudette !! It is very evident to me that you have a great way with words. Your work is not self indulgent (which is really nice) and your metre is in there somewhere and it "feels" good to me. I might suggest, in order to get more feedback here would be to titleize your work, clearly break up and identify the verses and do the same for the chorus especially if this is a country tune. When everything runs together like this one, it is a hard read....feel me? I would love to see this organized in a song format cause I'm certain I will dig it !!
Yes, take it a little easier on us.  lol  :)  I was able to follow it thru, it has a beautiful message that I hooked up with right away.  It does get a bit bunched up toward the end.  I'm with blukatnga, break it up into verses, chorus and bridge if there is one. You should also state who it is written by and claim copyright.  See the instructions for posting on the homepage, and it will convey all the details. I like what I read! :) 


UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1414 seconds (8% database + 92% PHP). 27 queries executed.