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 Posted: Sat May 20th, 2006 05:19 am
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MoBass
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Well, I posted the lyrics in the R&B lyrics forum last night, and I laid the basics down tonite after a gig.
http://www.soundclick.com/pro/view/01/default.cfm?bandid=525559&content=lyrics&songid=3953816

The bridge phrasing needs to be tightened up, and I'm compensating for a lack of instrumentation by overdoing the vocal fills, but I like the way it sits in my head. Mostly. I wrote this in two sittings. The bridge section just needs to be tweaked I think.
I hear a gospel choir in the back, and lotsa gee-tar when it comes time to hang it all together.


Feedback appreciated..
Robbie

(BTW- I see "mp3" as an allowed attachment in the "attachment" box- Is that still a "no-no"? )

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 Posted: Mon May 22nd, 2006 05:36 pm
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TSF-Mike
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MoBass wrote: (BTW- I see "mp3" as an allowed attachment in the "attachment" box- Is that still a "no-no"? )

Robbie, do to file size limitations when posting a message, you can't attach it to your post.  You can however either link to it as you have done or send your demo to me and I will upload it to the servers so that the Media Player can be set up.  Not being able to upload here is a pain I know, but I am at the mercy of this revision of the board software.  We do have a cool text editor though..:D

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 Posted: Tue May 23rd, 2006 12:53 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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I like the song...I like your chorus!! Good job!

Suzie

Last edited on Tue May 23rd, 2006 12:56 pm by Susan Jeffries

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 Posted: Tue May 23rd, 2006 12:53 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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Who's the cool:cool: text editor?? LOL hahahaha:Excited:

Lucy

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 Posted: Tue May 23rd, 2006 10:56 pm
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MoBass
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Thanks to all for the feedback-
Mike- When I get a more polished version in the next few days, I may take you up on your generous offer. If nothig else, I think it's interesting to listen to how a song mutates or grows through rough sketch into semi-demo.

Rob.

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 Posted: Tue May 23rd, 2006 11:04 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan Jeffries wrote: Who's the cool:cool: text editor?? LOL hahahaha:Excited:

Lucy

....you talkin' to me??  eh? eh? :P

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 Posted: Tue May 23rd, 2006 11:07 pm
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TSF-Mike
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MoBass wrote:

Thanks to all for the feedback-
Mike- When I get a more polished version in the next few days, I may take you up on your generous offer. If nothig else, I think it's interesting to listen to how a song mutates or grows through rough sketch into semi-demo.

Rob.


You may have noticed that I have been working on an Upload script for the forum (on the Main Menu) so you can send the files yourself.  This is still a work in progess.   I will separate them by genre so they go into the proper folders but you will still need to create the URL link to them when inserting a Media Player object.

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 Posted: Wed May 24th, 2006 12:40 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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I remember reading this lyric...it's amasing how your melody really makes this one shine....I really like this...I think speeding up the tempo a tad would really give it some more punch..(if that makes any sense)  I don't know alot about music and all the technical stuff...so my opinion is purely an opinion....but I enjoy good music...and this is pretty damn good....lol  if you get a chance...check out one of mine...I'd love to get some HONEST feedback....

 http://www.indiehitz.net/html/bands/79/

Check out "What Do You Say"  this song is actually collaborated with 4 other members on this forum.....Written by John Hoskins/Crystal Lynn....Sean did the guitar work....Mike M. came to ky so I could use his interface to get a good vocal...anyhow....we all kinda help each other out around here...lots of good people....hope your enjoying it...



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

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 Posted: Wed May 24th, 2006 09:50 pm
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MoBass
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Here's my thoughts on "What do you say"

One- Strong melody, good imagery in the lyrics, and Sean's guitar work is smooth as glass.  It sounds familiar, and it sticks in my head after I stop the song, which is good.

IMHO- It would be good to pitch in a movie soundtrack? Just a thought.

R~  

 

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 Posted: Thu May 25th, 2006 02:08 am
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Crystal Lynn
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Thanks R!! :) Appreciate that.....



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

-Victor Hugo
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 Posted: Thu May 25th, 2006 04:22 pm
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johnnybgoode
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What a great song,a great twist on a common activity of both sexes when things aren't going right.I'm not much of a musician but in my books the lyrics are REALLY strong and make a great statement.Good Luck with the whole thing Johnny.

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 Posted: Thu May 25th, 2006 07:36 pm
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MoBass
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I took Crystal's advice, picked up the tempo a tad, and recut the guitar, Vox and added bass tracks.

You can listen and kind of see how the song has mutated slowly- It's still much better suited for a female R&B singer, but I think this one will be fun to do live.


Robbie.

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 Posted: Fri May 26th, 2006 02:44 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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I honestly think your voice fits this perfect.....



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

-Victor Hugo
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 Posted: Sat May 27th, 2006 12:17 am
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darappsongstress
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Man your lyrics hit home with me. I felt it to the end.  I think your vocals should have been much stronger though for this kind of song. Brother honestly, if you're going to sing this song sing it with conviction. As I listened to the song I thought to myself, only if he could pitch this song to Toby Keith he would have himself a hit. This era is definitely the era for this type of song. Catchy lyrics, the song's phunk had me singin' with ya..lol..


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 Posted: Sun May 28th, 2006 02:41 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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Crissy,

I went to listen to, "What Do You Say," and as always I love your songs. Great job!:D

Susan

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 Posted: Tue May 30th, 2006 01:32 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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Thanks Susan...I really enjoyed that lyric from you and mike...how's the demo coming along??:)



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

-Victor Hugo
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 Posted: Tue May 30th, 2006 01:37 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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Mo-bass...took another listen....maybe it's just me...but the tempo still seems the same...but the groove still rocks....you've got a great voice...



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

-Victor Hugo
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 Posted: Tue May 30th, 2006 01:47 pm
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MoBass
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Thanks Crystal!

I picked it up about two-three beats per minute. It could still use about five more, I think.  I'll re-re-post it just for giggles once I get keyboard laid down on it-

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 Posted: Sat Jun 10th, 2006 05:55 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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How's it coming??



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The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

-Victor Hugo
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 Posted: Sat Jun 10th, 2006 09:01 pm
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MoBass
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Slow- I have a 95 yr old Grandfather who is requiring most of my attention at the moment- Just filling in on grand-pa sitting. Once the dust settles a little, I'll get cracking on it.

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