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alytrain
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Joined: Thu Jun 17th, 2010
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 313
Favorite Artist: Fred Eaglesmith, Lucinda Williams, Tommy Womack, Freakwater
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
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I WANT TO COME BACK AS MY DOG

© 2010 Amber Train

V1
:

My dog thinks to himself . . .

I lie in the sun

til time to get fed

Take up most the space

in their big soft bed

 

Sleep when I feel tired

play when I’m frisky

I’m naturally happy

while my owners needs whiskey

CHORUS
:
Those are things my dog would surely remark

If he could use words instead of just bark

I’m so jealous when I leave to go work

If he weren’t so cute I’d kick’m to the curb

V2
:

My dog goes . . .

Sometimes that squirrel

Will tease me to death

He makes me so nervous

but soon I forget

 

Hate it when they leave

Then I spy the couch

I’m not allowed up

but they won’t find me out

Chorus
:

Those are things my dog would surely remark

If he could use words instead of just bark

I’m so jealous when I leave to go work

If he weren’t so cute I’d kick’m to the curb

Bridge
:

My dog says wisely . . .

Its true my life’s much

shorter in years

But I wouldn’t trade

Mine for a hundred of theirs

Chorus
:

Those are things my dog would surely remark

If he could use words instead of just bark

I’m so jealous when I leave to go work

If he weren’t so cute I’d kick’m to the curb

Attachment: CRW_5985(4).gif (Downloaded 27 times)

Last edited on Fri Jul 23rd, 2010 05:35 pm by alytrain

Dusty Demos
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Joined: Wed Mar 10th, 2010
Location: St.George, Utah USA
Posts: 359
Favorite Artist: Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies,Common Sense,Jeff Healey,Jim Croce
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I like it,sounds like the same life my dogs lead!
My only nit,the work/curb abstract rhyme is kind of a stretch for me.
I tried to sing it,but stumbled on those two words.
Good write though.

SundownSam
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Joined: Thu Jul 24th, 2008
Location: Ellenwood , Georgia USA
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Love, love, love this one Amber! I don't have me pooch anymore but I have a cat that would easily fit this bill! She knows she's not suppose to whatever it is she's not suppose to do but she'll do it anyway and defy you to do anything about it! But I love that she's spunky, however, there's times I would also like to kick her to the curb! lol Really like this one Amber, I'm a big fan of humorous writes and this one is as cute as pie! :)

alytrain
Member


Joined: Thu Jun 17th, 2010
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 313
Favorite Artist: Fred Eaglesmith, Lucinda Williams, Tommy Womack, Freakwater
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
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I'm not above posting a shamelessly cute photo of my dog, since I've noticed others (ahem Dustydemo) doing the same.  I imagine once I put it to a tune, will have to file some rough spots, as the work / curb rhyme may be.  Thanks for the feedback!

Last edited on Fri Jul 23rd, 2010 05:37 pm by alytrain

SundownSam
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Joined: Thu Jul 24th, 2008
Location: Ellenwood , Georgia USA
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Amber, by all means feel free to post a picture of your little puppy dog. Since he was the inspiration for this lyric I'd put it right here in your song thread! We love seeing pictures here, so post away! :cool:  

Mike Stacey
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Joined: Sun Feb 19th, 2006
Location: Lancaster, Kentucky USA
Posts: 539
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I like this song the title really says it all and from that I could tell it was going to be a funny write nice job

terrypicker
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Joined: Sun Jul 22nd, 2007
Location: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Posts: 2614
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I like the whole idea of the comparative write on this topic. Human's vs. Dog's life; probably reflects many people's thoughts at times. Not to be a SNIT, but I would have liked to see you expound a bit more on the actual Title of the song in the context of the lyric.  Perhaps, gear it toward, or include it in the chorus. IMHO, I think it would make the whole song much more memorable, more humorous, and more complete.  Hey I'm with Sam, I like Pictures of pets. :)  I just took Rocky off my avatar to show everyone  Rick's little music corner. :)  He'll get over it though.  I think.

blukatnga
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Joined: Fri Oct 16th, 2009
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So cute Aly, He's adorable !! Tune shows a really cool lighthearted side to you that you are very good at. It has some metre problems as a song but right now it is a very, very good poem and you did well here. I am always waiting to see what you'll do next for sure !!


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