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You Make Me Shine
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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:30 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Crystal Lynn wrote: Susan...thank you....really...I don't hear myself that way...and Mike really made me shine on this one.....but I think it's cool how we all help each other here....and can be honest.....all is good in TSF...;)


OK.....then here is a song just for Crystal....so new the pencil lead is still laying on the paper.  R&B Gospel style.  I hope it isn't too self-serving.  If anyone likes it I will move it to the lyrics section.  Let me know if you think this needs another verse or whatever...its really new.

You Make Me Shine
Copyright 2006 MG Frisbey

Well I used to pretend happiness
Was something you could buy
A bigger house with fancy car

And diamonds made me sigh

Then something changed
When you walked in
Right into my life
All it took were words from you
To really make me shine

(Chorus)
Now I'm singing everyday
With a smile they can't erase
You gave me all the joy I need
My fears have been replaced

Well something changed
When you walked in
Right into my life
All it took were words from you
To really make me shine

V2
I no longer want or really need
To speak to Mr. Blue
I lift my head and look above
And sing a song or two

Well something changed
When you walked in
Right into my life
All it took were words from you
To really make me shine

(Chorus)

V3
When I stand there in the sky
And we meet face to face
I'll remember happy times
Like when we first embraced

For now I live from day to day
Knowing things are fine
'Cause all it took were words from you
To really make me shine

(Chorus)

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:33 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan....I mean Lucy made me move these lyrics.:D

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:42 pm
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miraclebaby
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Mike, I think it's great! Grammatically speaking though,I think the word  "were" might be more correct in the line-

{All it took was words from you}? I might be wrong...........:Angel:



____________________
~Silver Bells Debbie~
My brain is like a wet sponge~stuff leaks out as soon as it's added!:}
Debbie Dant (alias Miraclebaby)
20 Year survivor May 2013)
2x Breast Cancer Survivor
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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:42 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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lol...Awesome lyrics if I don't mind saying so myself, for you, TSF-M. Sharwy boss, I'll try to keep the pressure down from now on...:D Now where's Crissy? Hmmm, my job is never done!!!!!!!!exit>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:50 pm
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TSF-Mike
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miraclebaby wrote: Mike, I think it's great! Grammatically speaking though,I think the word  "were" might be more correct in the line-

{All it took was words from you}? I might be wrong...........:Angel:


Thank you, I changed that.  Like I said I just wrote them and didn't even spell chuck them. LOL

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:54 pm
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miraclebaby
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It's awesome no matter what.



____________________
~Silver Bells Debbie~
My brain is like a wet sponge~stuff leaks out as soon as it's added!:}
Debbie Dant (alias Miraclebaby)
20 Year survivor May 2013)
2x Breast Cancer Survivor
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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:54 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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The angels, and :P Lucy, are watching over you, T-M!!

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 08:58 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Thanks Debbie.  I just have a melody in my head right now and nothing really concrete--although some say I do have a hard head.

I don't know if I should write a third verse or not.  I probably will just because.

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 09:01 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Lucy, that's a comforting thought.  I wish they were watching over my bank account too.  LOL.

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 09:02 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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TSF-Mike, I wouldn't touch your first statement with a 40 ft pole!!!lol

Now, down to business.....I would like a 3rd verse please...you dam good at this.

Money is like play dough....you finish the rest..;)

Last edited on Mon Apr 24th, 2006 09:05 pm by Susan Jeffries

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 09:13 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan Jeffries wrote: TSF-Mike, I wouldn't touch your first statement with a 40 ft pole!!!lol

Now, down to business.....I would like a 3rd verse please...you dam good at this.

Money is like play dough....you finish the rest..;)


How about a 10 foot pole?

So you want fries with that?

For everything else there's Mastercard?

Last edited on Mon Apr 24th, 2006 10:38 pm by TSF-Mike

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 09:21 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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Good answer, but I think you've a tad bit too much tea!!!! lol All in all, I rate your response a good 10...lolololol
You're beside yourself with wit, and no thank you to the fries....lobster works though, along with a 3rd verse, that is!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your chin up about the play dough! ha ha


(I've been this way ever since you called me lucy) :cool:

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 10:39 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Third verse posted.  Let me know if it is OK.

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 11:04 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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T-Mike.......wow, you really made this song shine. Love the 3rd verse you added! Think this is a beautiful song now, and with your talent, will be a great final product.I say Bravo *****. I wouldn't change a thing. I can feel the passion above all. Great job Mike!!!! Now, where's Crissy?
keep me posted on this one, I really love it, ok????

Suzie/Lucy ha ha


 

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 Posted: Mon Apr 24th, 2006 11:28 pm
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miraclebaby
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Mike, I like the third verse. The ending brings it back to today.

However, if I may interject a thought.....The rhythm of verses are not what I have been able to "get". I know the melody makes the song too, but the beats per line are throwing my sence of balance off. I would like to hear how it would be sung , as the pauses sometimes make the rhythm work. I am just a control freak,and free verse is not my best road to travel. Good Luck.



____________________
~Silver Bells Debbie~
My brain is like a wet sponge~stuff leaks out as soon as it's added!:}
Debbie Dant (alias Miraclebaby)
20 Year survivor May 2013)
2x Breast Cancer Survivor
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 Posted: Tue Apr 25th, 2006 03:42 am
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TSF-Mike
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miraclebaby wrote: Mike, I like the third verse. The ending brings it back to today.

However, if I may interject a thought.....The rhythm of verses are not what I have been able to "get". I know the melody makes the song too, but the beats per line are throwing my sence of balance off. I would like to hear how it would be sung , as the pauses sometimes make the rhythm work. I am just a control freak,and free verse is not my best road to travel. Good Luck.

Debbie, this is pretty standard meter on this one.  If you can't get it, then try clapping your hands to a good, uptempo R&B Gospel beat and the words should flow pretty good.

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 Posted: Tue Apr 25th, 2006 06:04 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan Jeffries wrote: T-Mike.......wow, you really made this song shine. Love the 3rd verse you added! Think this is a beautiful song now, and with your talent, will be a great final product.I say Bravo *****. I wouldn't change a thing. I can feel the passion above all. Great job Mike!!!! Now, where's Crissy?
keep me posted on this one, I really love it, ok????

Suzie/Lucy ha ha 

Suzie......10-4.  T-Mike, good thing my name isn't Rex :D:D

I am waiting for Sissy (aka Crissy, aka Crystal)  Sissy said she needed to finish up some stuff before we can turn this one into a hit.

Now that we have all made her into a star, her rates are going to go up.

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 Posted: Tue Apr 25th, 2006 06:18 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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SF-Mike, lol...I know that's right!!! She's quite a gal with a great voice. She will shine even brighter after this new song of yours is finished..;) I'd say she is singing something as we speak! Stardom is a hard thing to take sometimes......(Crissy you are too humble) :cool:

Mike, I'm just too lazy to put the full TSF in there, sounds robotic, I need to come up with a new name to call you for sure!!!! Men....pick pick pick!!!LOL

(BTW, I like the Mastercard coverup haha)

Last edited on Tue Apr 25th, 2006 06:21 pm by Susan Jeffries

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 Posted: Tue Apr 25th, 2006 06:23 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan Jeffries wrote: SF-Mike, lol...I know that's right!!! She's quite a gal with a great voice. She will shine even brighter after this new song of yours is finished..;) I'd say she is singing something as we speak! Stardom is a hard thing to take sometimes......(Crissy you are too humble) :cool:

Mike, I'm just too lazy to put the full TSF in there, sounds robotic, I need to come up with a new name to call you for sure!!!! Men....pick pick pick!!!LOL

Well T-Mike is fine or Mikey or Michael (eh....that one my mom used to call me when I was in trou---ble)

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 Posted: Tue Apr 25th, 2006 06:27 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Susan Jeffries wrote: (BTW, I like the Mastercard coverup haha)


This editor is way cool, you can reply to a message and then go back and read it again and Voila! there is more new stuff magically in there!  LOL

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