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Good Gone Bad
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 Posted: Mon Jun 21st, 2010 11:07 pm
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alytrain
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I’m thinking slower deep sexy tempo.  I’ve got the skeleton of a tune in mind and I imagine a good dose of bluesy/funky instrumental in between the verses here, which is waaay beyond my capabilities to explain any further.  I need some musicians!
 
GOOD GONE BAD
(c) 2010 Amber Train
 
Ya know, sometimes good things can sometimes go bad
 
V1:
 
Politicians are popular til they turn corrupt
credit cards are helpful then the interest goes up
 
sunshine makes you happy until you get burned
jury might save you til it votes you’re to be hung
 
Bridge:
 
And you know, love can also get flipped upside down

Now I’ve known you too much and its all turned around
 
Chorus:
 
well your touch could soothe me if it didn’t excite me
Your eyes could save me if they weren’t so frightening
Your voice could comfort me if I hadn’t gone mad
And you’d a been good for me if you hadn’t gone bad
 
V2:
 
Like Fire is beautiful when there isn’t a drought
Daddy’s voice was gentle when it wasn’t a shout
 
Warm rain can be pleasant if there isn’t a flood
bites can also bring pleasure if they don’t draw blood
 
Bridge:
And our love was safe for me when it all began, and now you’re the enemy where you once were a friend
 
Chorus:
well your touch could soothe me if it didn’t excite me
Your eyes could save me if they weren’t so frightening
Your voice could comfort me if I hadn’t gone mad
And you’d a been good for me if you hadn’t gone bad
 

Last edited on Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:19 am by alytrain



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 Posted: Tue Jun 22nd, 2010 05:16 pm
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kineticturtle
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Great work - I love that you have multiple sets of lyrics for the bridge. A couple nitpicky things about verse 2 -

I have a feeling based on the rhythm of most of the other verse lyrics, that "sunshine makes you happy until you get burned" might fit a bit better.

And - a hung jury is often considered the second best thing to an acquittal, so I'm not sure this lyric really pulls the full strength of the meaning you want to get from from it.

Heck, I would even consider switching the verses! It seems like the second lines of the stanzas of the first verse (daddy's voice and bites) are the "goal" lines with more impact, so they should maybe be saved for later.

Can't wait to hear it put to music!



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 Posted: Tue Jun 22nd, 2010 05:36 pm
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alytrain
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Awesome feedback!  I am going to tinker with your suggestions and see what happens.  I'm glad you seem to get the song, or at least it seems you do because your suggestions seem right on to me.

Last edited on Tue Jun 22nd, 2010 05:47 pm by alytrain



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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 12:26 am
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blukatnga
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Awsome title, Awsome lyric, Really Awsome chorus. I really enjoyed the "might have been this, If it weren,t for that" thing going on. I just know this is gonna sound good. Short, sweet and kinda said it all with very few words...that's good writing. Enjoyed a lot !!

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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 01:57 am
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alytrain
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Blukatnga:  Thank you so much for your words.  I absolutely must give credit to kineticturtle, his suggestions about arrangement really helped this song pop.  Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I too am anxious to find some musician who can put it to some music for me.  My good news is that an awesome neighbor of mine, who is heavy into the bluegrass scene here in Santa Fe, lent me his guitar, so I'm hoping to be able to at least start playing out the skeletons of my tunes in the not so distant future.  Take care!

Last edited on Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 01:58 am by alytrain



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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:06 am
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kineticturtle
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Glad to be of service!



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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 03:56 am
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Tom W
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Very strong chorus here. I could hear this being sung in kind of a smoky raspy style; kind of harsh but playful at the same time. Not sure if that makes sense to you or not. Look forward to hearing it. Best of luck!

Tom W.

Last edited on Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 03:57 am by Tom W

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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 12:13 am
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alytrain
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Tom, This is exactly what I'm thinking for this song.  I've been singing it a bit in my car, and I've got a working melody, but I think I would have to take up smoking to get the sexy raspiness this song aspires to!  Thanks for taking the time to read it.



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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 12:23 am
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blukatnga
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Or sell it to Crystal Bowersox !  Definately dont take up smokin'

 

 

On a completely unrelated note.  I found out where all the hippies from the 60's and 70's ended up settling--Taos New Mexico !!  I worked for a wonderful firm in Ky that had their sales meetings in places like Sante Fe and I am so glad I lived long enough to see it.  There is something that beckons your past lives here.  It was such a wonderful trip for me and I want to go there again one day.  New Mexico was a Billy Jack Paoti paradise !!!

Last edited on Thu Jun 24th, 2010 12:30 am by blukatnga

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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 12:37 am
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alytrain
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I'm with you friend.  I moved to Santa Fe NM from Washington DC about 4 1/2 years ago and I've never looked back.  This place just fits my soul.  So plan a trip out here and drop me a line when you're in town!



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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 01:27 am
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blukatnga
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It was definately magnetic to me for some reason.  Stayed in a very nice Hotel there, Saw the spiral staircase, which as a woodworker, just underscored the spirituality of the entire region to one extent to the other and was something I wont forget soon.  I am hopeful to visit there again.

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