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Mama is so fine
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 Posted: Sat Jun 19th, 2010 11:55 pm
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alytrain
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This one is much further along.  It is set to a tune, which I can sing (I'm not a strong singer and unfortunately I don't play an instrument - yet).  I could post the tune as it is sung, but I am not sure if it is appropriate to post a recorded song, with just me singing it and just being recorded into my computer . . . no fancy sound recording available to me . . .  If anyone would mind letting me know what is expected on that front, I'd much appreciate it!

Anyway, I sing this to a very upbeat country tempo

MAMA HE'S MINE

© 2010 Amber Train

 

My mama is so fine,

red hair like my sisters, blue eyes like mine

V1:

When mama was a girl she was the high school queen

Later on she modeled in some local magazine

When we're passing strangers they all think we’re sisters

I ain’t met nobody yet that’s able to resist her

Chorus:

Even my boyfriend thinks mama’s so fine

Oh mama you're beautiful and mama he’s mine

Mama I know you’re flirtin just to pass the time

And mama you’re beautiful but mama he’s mine

V2:

Mama  loved daddy and they married so young

She was only 17 when I came along

Two years later  one baby more

Five children total by the time she was 24

Daddy he worked hard, double shifts all his life

Daddy ain’t got time to appreciate his wife

Chorus:

but Even my boyfriend thinks mama’s so fine

Oh mama you're beautiful and mama he’s mine

Mama I think you’re flirtin just to pass the time

And mama you’re beautiful but mama he’s mine

V3:

Well one day daddy got sick and came home from the store

Mama was too wrapped up to hear the openin door

Daddy found her lying naked in the den

unbucklin his belt beside her was my goddamn boyfriend. 

mama and daddy ain’t together anymore

And I ain’t got a momma since it turns out she’s a w**

Chorus:

But even my boyfriend says mama's so fine

Oh Mama you're beautiful and mama he was mine

Mama I thought you were were flirtin just to pass the time

O Mama you are beautiful but mama he was mine.

 

Last edited on Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 05:55 pm by alytrain



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 Posted: Sun Jun 20th, 2010 03:46 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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Really original I have to say! I'm glad this is a female vocal LOL I'd like to suggest changing your title to "Mama He's Mine", that is a much more interesting title but it is your decision.



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 Posted: Sun Jun 20th, 2010 08:25 pm
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Mike Morman
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very amusing little song there! Good job Aly!! made me laugh. I agree with Miss Brenda on the title.

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 Posted: Sun Jun 20th, 2010 08:37 pm
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alytrain
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Brenda and Mike - thanks for the feedback.  The title is officially changed!



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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 12:41 am
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blukatnga
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Well that was very entertaining to say the least. I hope you find yourself some collaboration here (musically etc..) cause you can flat write. That was entertaining, kept me on the edge of my seat to see what happened and you wrapped it up really fine. I understand that using some vocabulary is an individual expression but the appeal of the song would lose nothing if you replaced "god...." with just about any word, cause the songs stands up very well without it. For me overall this tune and "Good gone bad" are very well written. I don't usually knit tunes to death, "Five children total, And she was only 24" felt metreologically better to me. Loved it !!

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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:04 am
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alytrain
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Again BluKatnga, thanks for the awesome words of support.  For now I'm going to keep this song as written, although, if it is ever for general public consumption, I may change "god" to "own".  This is the first song I have ever shared - I let one person listen to a recording of me singing it, and then I sang it "live" for my neighbors, so I've become a little (sniff) sentimental about it.  Anyway, again, thanks for your support.  I'm new to this craft and feel a little shaky in the knees all the time.

Last edited on Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:05 am by alytrain



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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:10 pm
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blukatnga
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New to the craft ??  I think we are all in trouble here.  I believe you may have missing your calling.  It is going to be enjoyable watching your work evolve so stick around as there are some really cool folks coming in here and a lot of cool folks waitin' on ya !
This song is a hoot !  My vote is to do this one in a classic Tammy Wynette style parody of sorts with some very cool current overtones ?

Attachment: Tammy Wynette.jpg (Downloaded 28 times)

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 Posted: Wed Jun 23rd, 2010 02:26 pm
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alytrain
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If I can figure out how to do a decent simple recording of me singing it, I'd love to share it with you so you can hear the direction I'm thinking and give feedback :)



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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 01:56 pm
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Arthur Holt
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Hi Aly, maybe this might help get you started, http://audacity.sourceforge.net/
with this free editor/recorder and a mic. you can get your ideas recorded.



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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 02:27 pm
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alytrain
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Thank you, Arthur.  I hope to check this out when I have some time this weekend!



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 Posted: Thu Jun 24th, 2010 06:20 pm
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Missouripicker
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The song is clever. For the radio, they might insist that "goddamn" be removed, BUT, the word fits the situation that is being described. Besides, lots of country ladies pushed the proverbial "envelope" during their day: Tammy, Dolly, Jeannie C Riley, Loretta Lynn..If you change it to "my own boyfriend," the statement becomes redundant,because simpy "my boyfriend" says the same thing. For me, though repugnant to mainstream radio, the cuss word fits..... I like it.  It's real.

Last edited on Thu Jun 24th, 2010 06:21 pm by Missouripicker



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 Posted: Fri Jun 25th, 2010 01:13 am
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alytrain
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Thanks Missouri, I'm glad you get it.  I think my shot at a radio debut is far away, so I think its pretty safe to let my potty mouth run free for now!  I look forward to exchanging thoughts with you in the future.

 

Amber



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