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She's a Hot Trouble Maker
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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 07:45 am
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Susan Jeffries
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This what we have so far on BobbyJoe's forum collab. She's A Hot Trouble Maker

(Forum co-writing project started by BobbyJoe)

join right in! What there is so far:

(BobbyJoe)

V1
Long blonde hair, a tight tube top
And painted on blue jeans
A walk to make your jaw drop
And start a barroom scene
But let me make it crystal clear
If you buy that girl a beer
There ain't no other woman
Gonna dance with you in here

(BobbyJoe)

Chorus:
She's a hot troublemaker
Watch her swing those hips
She's a hot troublemaker
She don't take no lip
Other women hate her, preacher wants to save her
But she can't help what the Good Lord gave her
She's a hot troublemaker
She's a hot troublemaker

Roy Harris Suggestion for 2nd V

She don't mean to cause no trouble
It just seems to be her style
When it comes to looks she wrote the book
And it makes most men go wild
After she has had a few
She will do her table dance
And every guy starts thinking maybe
But hell, he ain't got a chance.  

 BobbyJoe 2nd verse:
Now she don't mean no one no harm
Just sippin' on a beer
Turnin' on a little charm
And half the guys in here
But when she's danced a dance or two
She begins to turn it loose
The place goes blind drunk crazy
'Cause that girl's one hundred proof


 

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:33 am
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Roy Harris
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Susan, I can't edit your post but put Bobby Joe's second verse on there, it keeps more with the flow.   I have been thinking about a last verse and here is some ideas, not yet ready for post but we need to touch on these thoughts.  

She is a half-pint of trouble
I came here sober now I'm drinking double

Crystal's nickname is half-pint so we should be able to throw that in there somewhere.  Or we could go with something like:

Some people call her half-pint
But trouble is her middle name

Just ideas tossed out there, maybe somebody can do something with it.

 

 

Last edited on Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:35 am by Roy Harris



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:38 am
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BobbyJoe
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Thanks, Susan, for moving things along.  Hopefully, Crystal and Roy and anyone else so inclined will add their 2¢.  :D  And I'm sure Mike will, as long as he does't make the mistake of frying bacon while on a nudie retreat.  ;)

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:44 am
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BobbyJoe
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Great idea, Roy!  :D

How about a two-line bridge with "half-pint" in it?  Crystal, how short are you?  :D

Bridge:
Now you might call her "half-pint" 'cause she's only five foot _____
But ...

Last edited on Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:44 am by BobbyJoe

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:44 am
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mikemclaughlin
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been there, done that!



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:49 am
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mikemclaughlin
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Roy, I edited Susan's post to include BobbyJoes suggestion. But I left your verse in to use for ideas.



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:49 am
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BobbyJoe
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Here ya go, Mike: "You Can Fry My Bacon, But Don't You Break My Eggs."  Got to keep it cutesy, though.  No xxx words.

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:56 am
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mikemclaughlin
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Go for it Bob! I like your quick wit, and novelty songs. I would love to have you work on a song I could play out at nudist resorts. The one we frequent in the Poconos is called Sunny Rest. Sounds more like a name for an old folks home, LOL! Come to think of it, there ARE a lot of old folks!



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 10:57 am
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Crystal Lynn
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ok..ok...If you all are making this about me.....(and it seems that way now) I do have some problems with it...lol   I don't have blonde hair...I would NEVER wear a tube top, skin tight jeans, (though they are snug) lol  nor dance on a table top.....it seems to me the lyric is focusing on a "hoochie mama" not the fact that she is a trouble maker.....I do like the line "she don't take no lip" 

And I am 4'11.....I like what you guys are doing with it......but this isn't me....i'd be more likely to knock a guy out before dancing with them....lol



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:10 am
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BobbyJoe
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So glad you jumped in, Crystal.  :)

So, one question is: do we write biography or just use a few traits from Crystal in constructing a fictional "troublemaker"?

Also: should we back away from the "hoochie mama" thing and work on illustrating more the idea of "troublemaker"?  If so, what's a good image or two to support it?

Anything else?

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:11 am
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mikemclaughlin
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Damn, four foot eleven is not very lyrical!



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:18 am
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BobbyJoe
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But "five foot minus one" is.  Here's a rough bridge that doesn't rhyme correctly.  Maybe someone can help rearrange it.

Bridge:

Now some folks call her "half-pint"
'Cause she's five foot minus one
But she can knock your socks off
In more ways than one

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:21 am
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Roy Harris
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What rhymes with eleven?  All I can think of is heaven and seven.  You guys do realize that Travis Tritt has already done this song don't you.  It's called T-R-O-U-B-L-E.



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:28 am
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BobbyJoe
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Roy, theme-wise, they've all been done.  But there's always room for a new twist of originality in the lyric and melody.

My question is: how does Crystal define "troublemaker"?  That would shed some light on possible further development.

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 11:45 am
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BobbyJoe
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Be back later.  Going to cook pancakes ... with clothes on.  ;)

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 12:11 pm
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Crystal Lynn
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I've got some stories...and some ideas....but I'm getting ready to head out to work.....so let me think on it...I do like the bridge...it's pretty good!!  Let me get back to you later.....I can usually think pretty good while I'm working...



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 12:54 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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Hey All,

I was going to post a verse last night (late)haha! leaning  to less of a hoochie, but got too late for me. But I wanted to get it together and post it to see exactly what I was up against. I really like it but believe it's too over the top for her real personality. I figured she would get on here and let you know herself!!!!!!! LOL She's more a sassy touble maker type, ya know what I mean?  I love the half-pint though. My verse would have not fit with the way the song was going. But after she gets a hold of you, she'll give you her input. Should be a good song with some minor changes. Wanna hear BobbyJoe sing it. :D:D

Also, BobbyJoe, you're welcome!!!    Susan

Last edited on Sun Mar 26th, 2006 12:56 pm by Susan Jeffries

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 01:23 pm
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BobbyJoe
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Crystal, I'm beginning to get a picture, based on your  line preferences so far.  We can make the "troublemaker" tougher, but is she actually less of a starter of fights and more of a finisher?  She sounds tough as nails, to use a cliche.  She could probably twist the nuts off a car tire with her bare hands (sorry if that's too strong - it just popped out and I kinda like it).  Anyway, we can wait on more input from you and then rewrite based on that.

Thanks, Susan.  :)  "Sassy" sounds good for her attitude and actions.  How could it relate to "troublemaker"?  Anyone?

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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 01:44 pm
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Roy Harris
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Well, just consider it like when they make a movie about someone's life.  They don't always do it exactly as that person lived their life.  They just take a few tidbits of information and make a movie that will sell.  So, you have to write a song using a little bit of factual information, then turn it into something that will make a good song.  Now, we could say she mops floors and cleans toilets for a living so be careful or she will mop the floor with you and flush you down the toilet, just don't know how that would fit in a song:D 



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 Posted: Sun Mar 26th, 2006 01:48 pm
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Susan Jeffries
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BobbyJoe,

"Sassy" as in more bite then bark. She won't put up with badmouthers and has fun coming back at them. Sassy!! Then she can be a real fun troublemaker. She backtalks a lot if you know what I mean. If you read her posts you'll see what I mean, especially To Mike M LOL !!!! Just ask him if he gets on here in time for you to finish up. She's a country girl that doesn't put up with much....strong willed, sweet, yet a troublemaker...if that makes sense?

Gotta run...Good job BobbyJoe and good luck!!! :Really Ticked:

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