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You Live in Me
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 Posted: Sat Dec 26th, 2009 12:16 pm
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clarkfford
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You Live in Me
Lyrics by Clark Ford © 2009

I followed you
I let you lead
You were so sure
And I believed

You spoke of love
You touched my soul
You gave me hope
You made me whole

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

And now it's time
To say goodbye
I don't know how
I don't know why

Is all hope gone?
Is goodness dead?
What can I trust?
Where should I head?

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

I close my eyes
And see your light
Your spirit shines
Into the night

I feel your love
Deep in my heart
It's not the end
It's just the start

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

You live in me...

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 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 02:03 am
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SundownSam
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I like it Clark! :D You did a very nice job on the rhyme scheme and it reads smoothly.  I think you got yourself a winner here! :)

Clark, if I may, I'd like to offer you a little tip in the way of one form of structure. It seems to tighten up the lyric a little and makes it more uniform and readable. Purely a suggestion though, as you may have something entirely different in mind. Just thought I'd toss it your way and see whatcha think? :)


Lyrics by Clark Ford © 2009

I followed you I let you lead
You were so sure And I believed
You spoke of love You touched my soul
You gave me hope You made me whole

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

And now it's time To say goodbye
I don't know how I don't know why
Is all hope gone? Is goodness dead?
What can I trust? Where should I head?

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

I close my eyes And see your light
Your spirit shines Into the night
I feel your love Deep in my heart
It's not the end It's just the start

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

You live in me
Your spirit's bright
I can go on
I'll be alright

You live in me...

Last edited on Wed Dec 30th, 2009 01:12 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 12:49 pm
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clarkfford
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Yes, yes - much better. Thanks!

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 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 12:59 pm
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clarkfford
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"You Live in Me" is still under development. Here is a live recording made by a friend. She has the emotions right if not always the pitch. Since this recording I have changed the lyric "You are alive, I see your light" to "I close my eyes, and see your light" to avoid confusion. It has also been suggested to add an orchestral bridge before the last two choruses. I have been experimenting with changing the key again to do that. So it starts out in F, moves to G, and would end up in A. http://www.broadjam.com/artists/songs.php?artistID=67751#

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 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 01:32 pm
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SundownSam
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I just finished listening to it Clark ....and very nice!!! Your friend sings it with much emotion and she did a very nice job on it. Well done! Only other thing I'd like to say is I personally like your original title of 'You Live In Me' ...it's short and sweet and to the point! But I know how I am when it comes to my titles, sometimes I want to say more in order to get the point of the song across! However, hopefully after listening or reading it folks will get the gist of it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is...in some cases less is more. But again, this is purely a suggestion, so please feel free to keep or sweep.:)  

Clark, now what you need to do is post this link and the newly revised lyrics I saw on Broadjam over in the proper music database (genre) so everyone can listen to it and you can get a little feedback on it. Here in the lyrics lounge everyone will think it's still lyrics only and not know it has now become a musical version of the write. It's okay right where it is, so no biggie, but I just thought I'd let you know that you can do it if you want to.

Good luck with it! :)

Last edited on Wed Dec 30th, 2009 01:33 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 06:23 pm
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clarkfford
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Thanks, Sam!

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 Posted: Thu Dec 31st, 2009 09:41 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Clark:

I really like the idea behind this and the basic foundation of the song. I think this could be a very powerful song with the structure and arrangement.

I was a little confused by the "all hope is gone" verse. That really threw me for a loop since you posted it in gospel lyrics. I could see how that would fit with a more secular tune, but in a gospel song it doesn't make sense unless you were to explain it in some way as a loss of faith, and then a subsequent renewal of faith. But there's really not enough in the lyrics to suggest that.

But, bottom line, the song works for me. I'd love to see you flesh it out a bit more. I think it could be quite powerful.

DD



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 Posted: Fri Jan 1st, 2010 02:59 pm
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clarkfford
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Thanks for the feedback - I agree the lyrics need to be carefully thought through. Actually this song began life in an Easter play sung by followers of Jesus at the crucifixion. There were some slightly different lyrics, especially in the second verse:

I followed you, heard what you said,
I saw you heal, raise from the dead
You spoke of love, you touched my soul,
You gave me hope, you made me whole

Chorus:
You live in me, your spirit's bright,
I can go on, I'll be alright

And now I see you crucified
I don't know how, I don't know why
Is all hope gone? Is goodness dead?
What can I trust, where should I head?

Chorus

You are alive, I see your light,
Your spirit shines into the night
I feel your love, deep in my heart,
It's not the end, it's just the start

Chorus

As originally written, I didn't think too many opportunities would come up to sing it (Good Friday?), so to generalize its application as a memorial song, I removed the references to the crucifixion. It certainly is a spiritual song, but as currently written could apply at any memorial service, sung about anyone who has parted and whose spirit is still bright. In a normal context, the second verse acknowledges the immediate despair of losing a loved one, setting up the third verse where the despair is (hopefully) dispelled. I think it could still be sung about Jesus on the cross for Good Friday, but in any other context perhaps would imply a loss of faith as you pointed out.

Last edited on Sat Jan 2nd, 2010 02:16 pm by clarkfford

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 Posted: Wed Jun 30th, 2010 03:59 pm
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CalvinLuther
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Clark

In my humble opinion, I love the original one about Jesus.I believe it is a much better song than the more general version simply because if you're singing it about a person you are saying that they have done things only God can do ("touched my soul", "made me whole"). And as it was originally written, you could sing it anytime because we should always be reminded what Jesus did for us on Calvary, not just on certain holidays. I mean I really, REALLY like the original version!! :D

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 Posted: Wed Jun 30th, 2010 05:16 pm
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clarkfford
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Thank-you, Calvin.
The original was written for an Easter Play I wrote for church. It was sung from the point of view of followers of Jesus at the crucifixion. So it is essentially a Good Friday song. I'm glad you like it. If you or others wish to use it, feel free to.

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 Posted: Mon Jul 5th, 2010 11:26 pm
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terrypicker
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Thanks for sharing Clark, I couldn't agree more with the message. :)



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