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Please Don't Go
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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:06 pm
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SundownSam
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After a longgggg and miserable dry spell I have finally written a new song...melody and all!!!!   And,  boy, did it feel good to write something again!!!!!  :D I didn't get very much sleep last night trying to put the finishing touches on it so that I could post it this morning, but after having such a long lapse in between writing songs I find I've gotten a little rusty at it, so please tell me what you think it needs. Any and all suggestions, opinions and critique will be very much appreciated. Oh...and I forgot to tell ya...the melody is kinda medium tempo and meant to be sad, sad, sad. lol  Thanks in advance for your feedback, guys!  

Please Don’t Go
Sara Bloodworth
© 2009

Verse I
You came into my life
When I was sad and all alone
My world was slowly crumbling
I was barely hanging on
But your sweet and gentle words 
Gave me hope and I could breathe     
And now that I can smile again
You say you have to leave      

Chorus
Please don’t go…I want you here beside me
Please don’t go…I need your strength to guide me   
My broken heart was made to mend 
Because you made me love again 
So I’m asking you now…please don’t go

Verse II
From the moment that we met
It wasn't hard to see 
That you would light my path 
And would be so good for me
You’re always warm and loving
And you're fun to be around
So thoughts of you not being here
Tears my world back down 

Chorus
Please don’t go…I want you here beside me
Please don’t go…I need your strength to guide me   
My broken heart was made to mend 
Because you made me love again 
So I’m asking you now…please don’t go

 Verse III
But if you feel you have to go
And I can’t change your mind
I pray the road that led you here
Won’t disappear with time
But it will be so hard to bear 
To see you walk away
So I’m asking you again
Please Baby won’t you stay

Chorus
Please don’t go…I want you here beside me
Please don’t go…I need your strength to guide me   
My broken heart was made to mend 
Because you made me love again 
So I’m asking you now…please don’t go
 

 



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:13 pm
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TonyS
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I think it flows well, tells a great story and is structured nicely (I'm learning structure). Sara, that's really nice and smooth and held my attention. Good luck.

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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:21 pm
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SundownSam
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TonyS wrote: I think it flows well, tells a great story and is structured nicely (I'm learning structure). Sara, that's really nice and smooth and held my attention. Good luck.
Thanks Tony! I'm really, really happy to see you say ALL of the above! :D Especially the nice and smooth part because that's what kept me up all night! lol Also loved that it held your attention!  Thanks again, kind sir, I really appreciate you taking a look!  



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:57 pm
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2nd verse, 2nd line:

I could plain and easily see

My only suggestion would be:  I could plainly see  or  I could easily see, but I think having plain and easily both in there would be hard to sing.

But, it may mess up your flow so as always feel free to disregard.  Other than that, I like it a lot Sara and think you did a great job here.  What took you so long? lol.

 

Last edited on Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:01 pm by Roy Harris



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:14 pm
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TonyS
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Roy Harris wrote: 2nd verse, 2nd line:

I could plain and easily see

My only suggestion would be:  I could plainly see  or  I could easily see, but I think having plain and easily both in there would be hard to sing.

But, it may mess up your flow so as always feel free to disregard.  Other than that, I like it a lot Sara and think you did a great job here.  What took you so long? lol.

 


I see Roy's point and reading that again I realized that was an area that didn't roll off my tongue like the rest of the lyrics,

Maybe just abbreviating a bit; you wouldn't lose what you're saying and folks would get it:

From the moment that we met
I could plainly see
That you would light my way 
Be so good for me.

Suggestion only , keep or sweep....see Sara your teaching me well.

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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:18 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Lookie here... I wake up this morning and find a Sara original posted up on the forum!!!! The meter clicks in my head when I read it Sara. Reads like there is a melody behind it. Great job! :Excited:



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:35 pm
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SundownSam
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Roy Harris wrote: 2nd verse, 2nd line:

I could plain and easily see

My only suggestion would be:  I could plainly see  or  I could easily see, but I think having plain and easily both in there would be hard to sing.

But, it may mess up your flow so as always feel free to disregard.  Other than that, I like it a lot Sara and think you did a great job here.  What took you so long? lol.

 


Consider it done!!! "Plainly" is actually what I originally had in that spot, but in my sleepless stupor late last night all of a sudden it looked as though it needed more than just the one word so I changed it. But it actually flows better with my music using just 'plainly' so I should have stuck to my gut on it to begin with, huh?

Thank you bunches Roy and I wish I could tell you why it took so long, but I'll be danged if I know! :? I just couldn't write and eveything I jotted down came up blank!!! But I have to tell you something... it felt good as all get out when this one started coming together!!! :D I go crazy when I can't write! :(

Last edited on Fri Nov 20th, 2009 03:01 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:51 pm
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SundownSam
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SongWriter2947 wrote: Lookie here... I wake up this morning and find a Sara original posted up on the forum!!!! The meter clicks in my head when I read it Sara. Reads like there is a melody behind it. Great job! :Excited:
Thank you tons and tons Rob!!!! As I said, it felt soooo good to get back into the game! I know this is not very lady-like...but damn this sitting on the bench! Although I AM an avid spectator of the sport and dearly LOVE reading and listening to everybody's else songs and writes, it's not altogether a spectator's sport! So I felt really bad about just sitting and watching all the time and not being able to contribute anything. But, you're partly responsible for this one materializing. Something you said in one of your threads to somebody else just wouldn't leave me alone, so I took it to heart and the next thing I know I was off and running! Thank you for that as well. :)

Last edited on Fri Nov 20th, 2009 03:03 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:58 pm
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SundownSam
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TonyS wrote: Roy Harris wrote: 2nd verse, 2nd line:

I could plain and easily see

My only suggestion would be:  I could plainly see  or  I could easily see, but I think having plain and easily both in there would be hard to sing.

But, it may mess up your flow so as always feel free to disregard.  Other than that, I like it a lot Sara and think you did a great job here.  What took you so long? lol.

 


I see Roy's point and reading that again I realized that was an area that didn't roll off my tongue like the rest of the lyrics,

Maybe just abbreviating a bit; you wouldn't lose what you're saying and folks would get it:

From the moment that we met
I could plainly see
That you would light my way 
Be so good for me.

Suggestion only , keep or sweep....see Sara your teaching me well.



Tony, thanks, I've already changed the 'plainly' part, but I think you may be right on that last line as well. For 'good flow' I pretty much have to keep the word 'AND' at the begonning of it, but I think I can safely remove the word 'would' and not mess up a thing. Let's give it a shot and see what everybody thinks about it. 

Thanks you kindly. :)

Last edited on Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:58 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 03:01 pm
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SongWriter2947
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SundownSam wrote: SongWriter2947 wrote: Lookie here... I wake up this morning and find a Sara original posted up on the forum!!!! The meter clicks in my head when I read it Sara. Reads like there is a melody behind it. Great job! :Excited:
Thank you tons and tons Rob!!!! As I said, it felt soooo good to get back into the game! I know this is not very lady-like...but damn this sitting on the bench! Although I AM an avid spectator of the sport and dearly LOVE reading and listening to everybody's else songs and writes, it's not altogether a spectator's sport! I felt really bad about just sitting and watching all the time and not being able to contribute anything. But, you are partly respondable for this one. Something you said in one of your threads to somebody else just wouldn't leave me alone, so I took it to heart and the next thing I know I was off and running! Thank you for that as well. :)

It's always best to be in the arena. :D  You've got so much talent it's just a matter of exercising it. Your back in top form here. Keep writing!



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 03:13 pm
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SundownSam
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SongWriter2947 wrote: SundownSam wrote: SongWriter2947 wrote: Lookie here... I wake up this morning and find a Sara original posted up on the forum!!!! The meter clicks in my head when I read it Sara. Reads like there is a melody behind it. Great job! :Excited:
Thank you tons and tons Rob!!!! As I said, it felt soooo good to get back into the game! I know this is not very lady-like...but damn this sitting on the bench! Although I AM an avid spectator of the sport and dearly LOVE reading and listening to everybody's else songs and writes, it's not altogether a spectator's sport! I felt really bad about just sitting and watching all the time and not being able to contribute anything. But, you are partly respondable for this one. Something you said in one of your threads to somebody else just wouldn't leave me alone, so I took it to heart and the next thing I know I was off and running! Thank you for that as well. :)

It's always best to be in the arena. :D  You've got so much talent it's just a matter of exercising it. Your back in top form here. Keep writing!

Rob, I know you're right when you say it's best to be in the arena and we need to exercise our writing abilites, but when you sometimes have so much other stuff on your heart and mind there's just not much room left for our songs. But, this was such GOOD therapy for me and I actually cried when I finally called it done last night ..and not because it was so late and I was both mentally and physically drained...but because I had finally been able to see one through after all these many months. :) 



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 04:52 pm
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SundownSam
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I just may have something really goooood to share with you later on concerning this one...well... really goooood on my part, that is!!!! :D Still working on the details at the moment though. But even if it doesn't materialize, I was very honored at being asked and simply could not wait a minute longer to tell you that my latest may get it's wings pretty soon. :cool:  But I'll yell back atcha if it does indeed come to past. 

Wow! So far it's been a really good day in the neighborhood for me!!!! :)



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 05:28 pm
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TonyS
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SundownSam wrote: I just may have something really goooood to share with you later on concerning this one...well... really goooood on my part, that is!!!! :D Still working on the details at the moment though. But even if it doesn't materialize, I was very honored at being asked and simply could not wait a minute longer to tell you that my latest may get it's wings pretty soon. :cool:  But I'll yell back atcha if it does indeed come to past. 

Wow! So far it's been a really good day in the neighborhood for me!!!! :)

I got everything crossed that I can cross withour huring myself...good luck!

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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 05:57 pm
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TonyS wrote: SundownSam wrote: I just may have something really goooood to share with you later on concerning this one...well... really goooood on my part, that is!!!! :D Still working on the details at the moment though. But even if it doesn't materialize, I was very honored at being asked and simply could not wait a minute longer to tell you that my latest may get it's wings pretty soon. :cool:  But I'll yell back atcha if it does indeed come to past. 

Wow! So far it's been a really good day in the neighborhood for me!!!! :)

I got everything crossed that I can cross withour huring myself...good luck!

Thanks Tony! There's a bit of a genre difference that may perhaps play a part in whether it does or doesn't happen, but that's only because of me being such and old-fogie country-girl and nothing whatsoever to do with the person I'm corresponding with at this time. But we'll see how it goes.... and thanks for rootin' for me and my song, it's much appreciated!!!   :) 

Last edited on Sat Nov 21st, 2009 02:21 am by SundownSam



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 06:05 pm
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Sara.. looks like you got something going on that might be promising. Good for you. :)



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 06:30 pm
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 Man! I get up this morning and see a song with your name on it and 14 posts so I'm thinking an old one must have been bumped up... should'a known better considering the writer!  It's good to see that you've come out of your slump!  It seems like the last one you wrote months back was called "Trying To Write A Song" or something to that effect... whatever it was, you were stuck in a rut and writing songs about it!

 This one is very good!!!  You have come out of the slump in great style... you can feel the emotions in it and it flows along nicely.  It should be easy for someone to bring to life with vocals and music... which I see you are already trying to make happen.  That would be really great!  We've gotten to read a lot of your lyrics, but only hear a few... I hope you are able to do it on this!
 



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 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 10:22 pm
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Dennis Railey wrote:  Man! I get up this morning and see a song with your name on it and 14 posts so I'm thinking an old one must have been bumped up... should'a known better considering the writer!  It's good to see that you've come out of your slump!  It seems like the last one you wrote months back was called "Trying To Write A Song" or something to that effect... whatever it was, you were stuck in a rut and writing songs about it!

 This one is very good!!!  You have come out of the slump in great style... you can feel the emotions in it and it flows along nicely.  It should be easy for someone to bring to life with vocals and music... which I see you are already trying to make happen.  That would be really great!  We've gotten to read a lot of your lyrics, but only hear a few... I hope you are able to do it on this!


 
Thank you Dennis!  It feels really good to be posting a lyric again and I sincerely appreciate all your nice comments on it! Yep! I think you're right, I think the last one I posted was indeed the one called 'Trying To Write A Song.' LOL  And I was crying the blues that day over not being able to write as well! LOL  So I guess I'm kinda partial to this one for bringing me out of that yukky slump! No fun for sure being down in that place! :(  But thank you for saying you would like to hear more of my writes come to life. I would too! LOL But it's my own fault that more of them haven't been done, so I guess it's time I got off my duff and started trying to see what I could do with one or two more of them. But for sure 'Don't Sweat The Little Things' is going to Kevin Wicker after the holidays, I'd really like for him to do that one for me. I have another one that I'm about to approach someone else about doing and then this one I most definitely want it to get it's wings...for sentimental reasons if nothing else. Maybe I should make this goal my New Years Resolution! :D  



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 Posted: Sat Nov 21st, 2009 01:21 pm
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Very nice sara!:D sad and sweet. Where can I listen to your melody? is it posted somewhere?
sing it sista! :cool:



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 Posted: Sat Nov 21st, 2009 01:36 pm
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Tricia41 wrote: Very nice sara!:D sad and sweet. Where can I listen to your melody? is it posted somewhere?
sing it sista! :cool:


Hi Tricia...and thank you much! :D 

sing it sista! :cool:  You're a nut, you do know that,  don't you? LOL

No ma'm the meoldy isn't posted anywhere at this time, but me and a friend are trying to work out something on it so maybe at a later date you'll be able to take a listen. HOWEVER, there ain't gonna be none of that singing stuff outta me! :shock: My singing days are behind me. Mother Nature never did like my singing very much to begin with, but she really reeks  havoc on it nowadays!!!!  ;) LOL  

Last edited on Sat Nov 21st, 2009 04:05 pm by SundownSam



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 Posted: Sat Nov 21st, 2009 04:06 pm
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Oops! Sorry 'bout that folks!  Wrong thread! :rollfaceBut seeing as I had already quoted Tricia...except in the wrong thread...and hit send I guess I have to use it now! So, hello!

Yep! Its' fin'lly happening, guys.....I'm officially losing it!!!

Last edited on Sat Nov 21st, 2009 07:04 pm by SundownSam



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