The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

Thank Me When I'm Done
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Thu Nov 19th, 2009 05:18 pm
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
Kevin Pearson
Member


Joined: Wed Jul 22nd, 2009
Location: Girard, Ohio USA
Posts: 798
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hi All,

Seems to be a lull in FNOM so here is a song about critiqueing.

This is something I wrote back in February of this year.  I was in a particularly frustrated mood with people's critique's of my lyrics (other sites of course..lol) and so I turned the tables writing about how I could fix some classic songs with a few changes. I never thought it would find music but I found a new friend from Denmark Magne Kolstad,who put it to music .  Turned out to be a fun song. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Thanksgiving

Kevin


Thank Me when I'm Done
(c) 2009 Kevin Pearson / Magne Kolstad

If I could go back in time
I'd go back and help Don McLean
Rewrite.... American Pie

First thing Don it's way too long
Don't need a jester and a marching band
Man, .. this is all wrong

I know what people like to hear
your chorus is kind of way out there
verses are.... quite unclear

Chorus
Let me help you fix this a little
You're a nice enough guy
but you don't have a clue
I'll just change all the words for you
Cause you're breaking way too many rules
You can thank me when I'm done


I guess that while I'm at it
Might as well see if I can help Lennon
fix that song imagine

John I see the problem right off
Nobody understands no heaven, no hell
I'd try some different stuff

Maybe imagine something different
So that people don't have to stop and think
Might help you pay the rent

Chorus
Let me help you fix this a little
You're a nice enough guy
but you don't have a clue
I'll just change all the words for you
Cause you're breaking way too many rules
You can thank me when I'm done

Ok Harry this one's for you
Taxi's six minutes long without a chorus
We got a lot of work to do

Driver should work in an office
Cause that's way more universal you know
just scratching the surface

I think this one might be good
Don't worry if it doesn't feel just right
Remember I did the best I could

Chorus
Let me help you fix this a little
You're a nice enough guy
but you don't have a clue
I'll just change all the words for you
Cause you're breaking way too many rules
You can thank me when I'm done



 



____________________
"It's what you learn after you know it all that makes all the difference" Me (I think)
Back To Top 


 Posted: Thu Nov 19th, 2009 05:19 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Kevin looking forward to it.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top


 Posted: Thu Nov 19th, 2009 11:09 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
Troy33
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008
Location: New Hampshire USA
Posts: 4848
Favorite Artist: Rush, Yes, John Mayer, James Taylor, Pink Floyd, Stanley Clark
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Hi Kevin,

This came out relaxed and cool! Great concept with this lyric.

I like the guitar work for it, and Magne did a nice job making it conversational and giving the right (or wrong) attitude I expect you were looking for to make your point.

Ohhhhh....there are plenty of experts running around out there..... and there are plenty of successful songs that broke the rules as you say. I can think of many. :)

I enjoyed it!

-Troy



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/another-log-on-the-fire
https://soundcloud.com/troy-t-douglas/if-it-rains-on-christmas
http://www.reverbnation.com/troydouglas
Back To Top 


 Posted: Thu Nov 19th, 2009 11:24 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
SongWriter2947
Member


Joined: Mon Dec 18th, 2006
Location: Casselberry , Florida USA
Posts: 2795
Favorite Artist: Eclectic - it varies
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Hey Kevin, I love it man! Perfect song for a songwriter.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 12:28 am
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 5909
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Just proves you can write about anything! :) Glad you stepped in to fill the FNOM void this week Kevin, that was fun



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 12:47 am
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
Kevin Pearson
Member


Joined: Wed Jul 22nd, 2009
Location: Girard, Ohio USA
Posts: 798
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Rob, Troy and Owen

I thought the idea of going back and messing up classic songs was a fun idea. I posted this on another sight in February and had a guy call me out for being an idiot for thinking of messing with those songs...before I could answer him I had about five guys jump in and say Ah dude I'm pretty sure he's just having fun here..that was cool. I hope we all think it's fun to think what would I have said given the chance to change these classic songs.

Kevin



____________________
"It's what you learn after you know it all that makes all the difference" Me (I think)
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:26 am
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
lyricgirl
Member


Joined: Sat Nov 7th, 2009
Location:  
Posts: 27
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Looooovee it!!

Well said....(sang, I mean sung....:D)



____________________
.....Vicki
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 01:32 am
  PMQuoteReply
8th Post
C2
Member


Joined: Sat Jul 11th, 2009
Location: Hurst, Texas USA
Posts: 995
Favorite Artist: ZZ Top, 40 years and still going strong...........
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Hey Kevin, where's that list man? I'd like to add some more songs to it. I mean everyone knows the glockenspiel was just way too loud on "All Along The Watchtower". I don't know what Jimi was thinkin'.:D



____________________
NOTICE**Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

NOTICE**The pages below are lonely and want to be your friend.
http://www.jamwave.com/c2music
http://www.youtube.com/user/C2Texas
http://www.soundclick.com/C2music
Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:03 am
  PMQuoteReply
9th Post
SundownSam
Super Moderator


Joined: Thu Jul 24th, 2008
Location: Ellenwood , Georgia USA
Posts: 7967
Favorite Artist: Danny, James, Dennis, Charles, Rob, Don, Art, John, Mike ...
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Kevin, I got a really big kick outta this one! LOL Love. love, love  the write and I think your friend Mange did a great job on it and did a great job, as well, on 'emphasizing' in all the right places!  A song about critquing other songs...and famous songs at that...is va ery novel idea!!! Sorry for the frustration you had to go through in order for this one to come to be, but this song just goes to show that songs can sometimes come from the least expected times and places in our lives. :)

Last edited on Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:49 am by SundownSam



____________________
First you write it with your heart - then you re-write it with your head

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=1021080







Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:23 am
  PMQuoteReply
10th Post
Dennis Railey
Member


Joined: Wed Oct 22nd, 2008
Location: Ft. Smith, Arkansas USA
Posts: 4675
Favorite Artist: Jerry Jeff Walker, Wynn Varble
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
  Any songwriter has got to love this!  It would be the ultimate to have your song trashed and rejected by everyone who saw it... then have it picked up by a major artist and go on to become a classic.  Great song!



____________________
NEWS ALERT!!! The Mayans got their printing press fixed and have issued their new calendar. The world won't be ending in 2012 after all!

http://www.jamwave.com/artist.aspx?AID=5567

Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 11:23 am
  PMQuoteReply
11th Post
Arthur Holt
Member


Joined: Wed Dec 13th, 2006
Location: Brook Park, Ohio USA
Posts: 2707
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hey Kevin,

I like that, a fun listen and true.Thanks for sharing it.

Art



____________________
I try to "THINK" but nothing happens.Curly Howard
http://www.soundclick.com/arthurholt
http://www.reverbnation.com/arthurholt
Let's make some music ,
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:02 pm
  PMQuoteReply
12th Post
James Ryce
Member


Joined: Thu Feb 21st, 2008
Location: Kingston, Ontario Canada
Posts: 1961
Favorite Artist: Sara Bloodworth (Still)
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
100 % PERFECT!!!!!  I think this should be the theme song for every forum out there in the SONG POSTS area.  Funny as heck that someone would call you out on the classics.  LOL, I'm busting a gut.

James.

Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 02:20 pm
  PMQuoteReply
13th Post
TheBender
Member


Joined: Sat Apr 12th, 2008
Location: Bremen, Georgia USA
Posts: 426
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Kevin, this was really great.  Good, good stuff!  As a fingerpicker, I really liked the guitar work too!  Just really witty stuff.  Great job Kevin.  I need to send you about 50 tunes for rewrites.  I'll thank you when you're done pal!



____________________
Don Gulmire, Jr.
http://www.jamwave.com/dongulmirejr
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 05:46 pm
  PMQuoteReply
14th Post
Kevin Pearson
Member


Joined: Wed Jul 22nd, 2009
Location: Girard, Ohio USA
Posts: 798
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Vicki
Thanks however he sanged it was cool.

Curtis,
Good thing we can't go back and change anything..lol.

Sara,
Thanks again for being so nice. I think I've finally grown skin thick enough to take anything in stride now. Thanks in part to guys like Curtis and Jeff Knight...I've got something to hang my hat on when that happens.

Dennis,
Thanks for listening, you're right that's the ultimate revenge...

James,
I appreciate your comments a lot. Seemed like a good to put up at the time. I've already been assured that we're all crazy for doing what we do so why not "fix" the oldies too...lol

Don,
Thanks man, Send them over I can't wait to ruin your music too...lol

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends
Kevin



____________________
"It's what you learn after you know it all that makes all the difference" Me (I think)
Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Nov 21st, 2009 10:07 am
  PMQuoteReply
15th Post
RedinFla
Member


Joined: Thu Jun 14th, 2007
Location: North Carolina USA
Posts: 2905
Favorite Artist: Warren Haines, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hey Kevin, what a great concept for a song, especialy for a bunch of songwriters. I was on another site a few years back and a guy posted a lyric that broke all the rules, and all the uhm...ahem.... know it alls there trashed the guys lyric, the author sat back without replying until they were all done. Then he told them thanks for the advise I just wanted to see your reaction to it, before I told you that Kenny Chesney is including it on his next cd release. If I'm remembering this right the song was Don't Blink.

 As you can see below the rhyme scheme in the verses is all wrong, the chorus isn't balanced and the sylable count is way off. The bridge just goes nowhere, but it does tell a decent story and has a good message, with a little work it could probably be an okay song. Commercial? I doubt it......... hahahahahaha

Don't Blink lyrics

I turned on the evening news
Saw an old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv and it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I've been tryin slow it down
I've been tryin take it in
In this here today gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
Don't blink

Naw, don't blink



____________________
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=810956

It's not half full or half empty, it's just a half a glass
Back To Top 


Current time is 05:23 pm

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1910 seconds (13% database + 87% PHP). 27 queries executed.