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First Song Posting From a Newbie
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 10:26 am
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DunedinDragon
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http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8227161

As I mentioned in my introduction, I'm still pretty new at this whole recording thing, so I hope those of you with more time in it can give me some real pointers.

Just a note, my writing style may be a little odd for contemporary christian simply because of the audience I try to reach with it, which are bikers.  I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

Thanks so much,

DD



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I wouldn't want to learn again.

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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 10:31 am
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DunedinDragon
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Oops...forgot to post lyrics..how embarrassing!!

Stumble and Fall

© 2009 D. George

Sometimes when the road gets long,
The weak can overtake the strong.
You need a friend who can make it all better.
Someone to take away the pain.
And get you on your way again.
Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

When the storms begin to blow
And fear within you starts to grow.
You need a hand that can give you direction.
In the depths of dark despair
You need to know that someonea019s there.
Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

No matter how much you think that you can take it
Life can turn you upside-down
About the time you think that you will never make it
Is when your friends are truly found.

As bad as things could ever be.
I know I got a friend with me.
Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

Somewhere in the darkest night
When you cana019t tell wrong from right.
You need to escape from the pain and confusion.
About the time youa019ve had enough
You need someone to pick you up.
Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

Therea019s lots of folks whoa019ll say that they can make it better
But in the end youa019ll be alone.
You need someone to be with you from here to forever
The closest friend youa019ve ever known.

As bad as things could ever be.
I know I got a friend with me.
Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

Last edited on Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:42 pm by DunedinDragon



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:22 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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I really really like this!!! The only thing I can see that you should consider changing is this line:

Someone to catch me if I stumble and fall.

To keep in with the rest of the lines, it should be:

Someone to catch YOU if YOU stumble and fall



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:35 pm
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Arthur Holt
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Hey DD, type while holding down the Alt  key 0169 the let go of the Alt key and you get this © to put up on your lyrics with the year..

 ........I like this write too....

We all need someone 'special' in our lives that will be there for us no matter what. Even when we don't have someone like that, there is ONE that's only a prayer away.



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:36 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Thanks for the feedback Brenda...and that's not the first time I've heard that issue from someone.  I guess my vernacular must not be as universal as I think it is.  It kind of comes from saying something like, "you know how YOU get in a car and YOU have to adjust the seats..".  Although I'm using you, it's kind of a shared experience thing in my mind.  But evidently it is confusing from some people.

One suggestion someone made was the change the 'you' to 'we' and then leave the the 'me' in the hook, but when I tried that out it almost seemed a little dismissive sounding.  I like your suggestion, but I'd have to think about changing the line, 'as bad as things could ever be...I know I've got a friend with me'.

This is one I'm going to have to think on for a while I guess.  Appreciate your insight though!!

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:38 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Wow...that's kewl Arthur!!  Gotta give that a shot.

You'd think someone who worked for Microsoft for 10 years would know something like that, huh?  ;)

Thanks

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:43 pm
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Arthur Holt
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 oh I'm just full of useless info till someone asks the right question lol, or didn't put that in there post , LOL again

Hey you got it in there , cool

Last edited on Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:44 pm by Arthur Holt



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 02:53 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Wow Arthur...I just checked out your soundclick account.  Nice ridin' tunes there bro!!!  Us biker/songwriters gotta stick together....all two of us!!  :cool:

You might wanna check this one out on my soundclick page...just between you and me..

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8234531

It's called Ridin' With The Lord - A Biker's Meditation.

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:00 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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You could try

Someone to catch Us if We stumble and fall?

I don't know, just throwin' that out there. ;-)



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:08 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Better yet, maybe I can just go a completely different direction and sprinkle a few, them's, they's, ya'll, you'se guys (don't wanna leave out the New Jersey folks),  him's and her's in there...just to confuse the HECK outta people..  LOL

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:14 pm
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Arthur Holt
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Hey DD, man you got a very nice sound going on there, yes bikers gotta stick together but there are way more that two of us , lol

It doesn't sound like your new at this recording , I check out  Ridin' With The Lord -sounds good to me....

"They" say to write what you know, thanks for checking out my page and commenting Bro. Appreciate that ....

 



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I try to "THINK" but nothing happens.Curly Howard
http://www.soundclick.com/arthurholt
http://www.reverbnation.com/arthurholt
Let's make some music ,
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:21 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Thanks Arthur...no...not exactly NEW, but new to using a full set of equipment and recording all original stuff.  A few years back I did recording of backing tracks for cover material to be used onstage using a dedicated digital recording machine from Roland, but I just jumped into this side of it with a DAW and recording original material in the last few months.  MAN...there's a lot to learn!!  Sometimes I think my brain's gonna explode!!

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:23 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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DunedinDragon wrote: Better yet, maybe I can just go a completely different direction and sprinkle a few, them's, they's, ya'll, you'se guys (don't wanna leave out the New Jersey folks),  him's and her's in there...just to confuse the HECK outta people..  LOL

DD

 Sorry!  I aim to write songs for the commercial market and that is what I bring when I try to make suggestions to others on their writing, not everyone is interested in writing for the industry so I will keep that in mind if I take a look at your work again.



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:27 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Brenda,

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound dismissive of your suggestion at all...just trying to be funny and make fun of myself.  Sometimes that backfires.

I honestly do appreciate your insight and really am going to consider it in how I deal with this song.  I'm just a goofball sometimes...I don't mean anything by it.

 

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 03:56 pm
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SundownSam
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I like it too, DD, I think the music is awesome and it's beautifully produced! 



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 04:10 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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I'm sorry too, I mistook the humor!!!  ;)  I get it now!



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 05:27 pm
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Dennis Railey
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 Very very nice, DD, the music sounds great to me and the lyrics are strong... I'll be singing it in my head until I turn something else on.  Great work on it!



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 Posted: Wed Oct 28th, 2009 07:00 pm
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DunedinDragon
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Thanks Sundown and Dennis. I truly appreciate you taking time to listen and give feedback.

And Brenda, don't worry about it. Most of the time I don't even understand my own jokes.. ;)

DD



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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 Posted: Thu Oct 29th, 2009 12:22 am
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RedinFla
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I caught the same thing as Brenda concerning the point of view the story is told by. So nothing new to add from me, pretty cool tune tho. I used to ride sometimes with some freinds in the CMA, like most mc's they had too many rules for me to be anything more than a hang around. I can appreciate your ministry tho.



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 Posted: Thu Oct 29th, 2009 07:38 am
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DunedinDragon
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I understand what you mean Redin. I appreciate the work and efforts of the CMA, but it's size puts me off. I prefer to do my work within my small little biker church.

Here's where I'm thinking I'll go with this lyric problem. I think I'll change it all to 'you' so it's consistent throughout the song. So the hook line will be:

Someone to catch you, if you stumble and fall.

That means I'll have to change the line "As bad as things could ever be, I know I've got a friend with me", to something like:

No matter what you might go through
You know you've got a friend with you.
Someone to catch you, if you stumble and fall.

How's that sound?

DD

Last edited on Thu Oct 29th, 2009 07:39 am by DunedinDragon



____________________
Sometimes I like to think on
All the places that I've been.
How I learned the lessons of my life
I wouldn't want to learn again.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/DunedinDragon
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