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Freezing In The Keys
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 Posted: Sun Jun 22nd, 2008 10:46 pm
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RedinFla
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I need some help with this one if it tickles anyones fancy jump on in.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 02:05 am
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Guitarman38
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Guys I LOVE IT!!! Thats a hit if I ever heard one! Mike the music does sound a lot like the Eagles and also, (though it isn't the same tempo) it reminds me also of that old country/pop song "Key LargO" by Bernie (?)...I'm getting old and can't remember his name...lol.

Anyway, guys GREAY JOB all around!

Big John



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 Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 04:27 pm
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RedinFla
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Another rewrite, trying to fit this to TSF-Mike's music


while watching television
at our favorite tiki bar and
I see it’s, snowing where you are

down  here the palms are swaying
 an old guitar mans playing
some songs, that are tearing me apart


 he’s sings of love and laughter,
and of happy ever afters
Oh it must be ninty degrees


flowered shirts and sun burnt noses
happy hour never closes
without you it’s freezing in the keys

 

as the sun sinks in the ocean
I watch drowning my emotions
 wondering, where did our love go?

The breeze don’t help the aching
My broken heart keeps breaking
a flame that hot, should not turn cold

 I’m drinking, in love and laughters
chase em with  happy ever afters
thinking back to when that was you and me

but right now the sun is frozen
and happy hour is over
it feels like it’s freezing in the keys




Last edited on Thu Jun 26th, 2008 04:45 pm by RedinFla



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 01:57 pm
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RedinFla
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Rewrite of rewrite that was rewritten, I've tried to keep with the same tempo of Mike's music, but can't seem to say what I want to and make it fit perfectly.

Freezing in The Keys

Sitting drinking watching television 

At our old favorite tiki bar and                       
I see that it’s snowing where you are 
Well down here the palms are swaying               
 a soulful guitar man playing                      
some songs that are tearing me apart       

 He’s singing songs of love and laughter
and of happy ever afters                           

All the things that now seem out of reach
Since we broke our home here piece by piece
In flowered shirts with our sun burnt noses
Seems happy hour here never closes  
yeah it must be ninty degrees               
but feels like it’s freezing in the keys  

That red ball just hit the ocean           
I take it in drowning my emotions        
Sitting drinking wondering, where did our love go
The warm breeze don’t help the aching
My broken heart just keeps on breaking   
a flame that hot should have never turned so cold 

Still he keeps singing bout love and laughter
and them happy ever afters                            
as young lovers go walking on the beach     

It takes me back to when that was you and me
and as my frozen drink is thawing                
I know there’s no use in calling                    

Happy hour here ain’t the same for me         
cause without you it’s freezing in the keys

Yeah you’re the reason I’m freezing in the keys


 

Last edited on Sat Jul 5th, 2008 02:05 pm by RedinFla



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 02:27 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Barry this really good bud. Is Danny workking on this? Man his smooth vocals would fit this one to a tee. Its got a great light country tropical feel with great reflective lyrics.



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 02:46 pm
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RedinFla
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Rob, I've been trying to draw him out but no luck yet. He and I started this a long time ago, and then he got busy and has been unavailable, I'm sure he's still interested, and I agree with you about his vocals. I'm sure he'll get back into the groove with the music so to speak, I know I couldn't stay away from this for too long. But then........I'm addicted to this place.

Also I forwarded you a melody sample.

Last edited on Sat Jul 5th, 2008 02:47 pm by RedinFla



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 02:51 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Let me check my email..



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 03:08 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Did it bounce back? I didn't get it.



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 03:13 pm
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RedinFla
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No, let me try again. I sent it to the aol name.



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 03:24 pm
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SongWriter2947
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It must have been slow coming...I've got them now. "I'll check it out.



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 03:50 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Check it out sent you a reply...



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 Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 04:06 pm
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RedinFla
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Got it Bro, thanks I added the lyric we were talkin about to the works in prgress area. Southern Sounds



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 Posted: Sun Jul 6th, 2008 05:55 pm
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RedinFla
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I added a link to an a capella version of the last rewrite........

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=810956



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 Posted: Mon Jul 7th, 2008 05:45 am
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RainyDayMan
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Sounding good Red! Stylistically it puts me in mind of Killing Me Softly, different melody but that kind of production might work well.



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 Posted: Wed Jul 9th, 2008 02:51 pm
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RedinFla
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Thanks RDM, I don't know about sounding good, but I really do like this song. There is someone who said he would help me to pitch this one, but I need to get a demo done first. Hopefuly he's still interested, by the time I get it done.



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 Posted: Mon Jul 28th, 2008 05:57 pm
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DBloodworth
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Hey Red,

I went back and listened to the music that Mike has, and sang along.  I see now a bit more about where the rythym and meter of the song is coming from, and I like it a lot.  I had remembered Mike's music was part of this, but hadn't listened to it in a while.  Glad I did, 'cause it's the right music.

My only thing, after reading, singing, scrutinizing over this song for as long as we have is that I still think the setup of the hook is missing the mark by just a tad.  I think the contrast of paradise and freezing cold just needs to be more "in-your-face" if that makes sense.  Am I off base?  Red? Anyone?

I'll make myself a CD of the music and start singing it while I'm riding back and forth to work/home.  I'm still in this one with ya, bear with me.

Danny

 



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 Posted: Mon Jul 28th, 2008 06:32 pm
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WAGDADDY
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I'm here alone freezing in the keys

watching the waves roll

reminds me how hard you were to please...

tearing away when your tide comes in

rebuilding my castle when you go out

Last edited on Mon Jul 28th, 2008 06:42 pm by WAGDADDY



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 Posted: Tue Jul 29th, 2008 03:51 am
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RedinFla
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Cool Danny, I'm thinking we should eliminate the 4th line completley in both chorus's. Any thoughts?

Last edited on Tue Jul 29th, 2008 03:57 am by RedinFla



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 Posted: Tue Jul 29th, 2008 04:00 am
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RedinFla
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As far as setting up the hook better.......... I'm open to changing things if it makes it work better....... What are you thinking?



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 Posted: Tue Jul 29th, 2008 03:16 pm
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Wow, Barry, you've really been going through alot with this one.  It will be excellent when you feel it is where it needs to be. ;)  But I'm confused on how many writers on this?  Just you, Barry, or Mike and Rob and Danny?  It's gettin' confusing. :D



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