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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:38 am
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SongWriter2947
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Hey i like that Mike.... Sounds like a better fit.



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snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:40 am
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SongWriter2947
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Yep it flows with the music...I'm  waiting for the 1st verse to start right after the bass intro. Is that where your starting?

Last edited on Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:44 am by SongWriter2947



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:42 am
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SongWriter2947
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but I ain't never in my life seen me such a light

Do think brighter might work in this line..

but I ain't never in my life seen me such a brighter light



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:54 am
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TSF-Mike
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Rob, no the "seen me such a light" works just fine.  Nice and simple.  Try to say as much as you can in as few of words as possible.  I like it.

I'll work on it some more and see what else I come up with.

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 08:15 am
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TSF-Mike
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Rob, Vlad and whoever, I posted a pathetic vocal track on this just to see what it sounded like.  

Rob I changed the lyrics around a bit and decided to leave a longer intro before the vocals.  I can redo the whole thing if need be now because all of the music parts I did I made into loops.  Let me know if this is even close to what you had in mind.

Vlad...where are you bro?  Don't be shy, jump in any time.

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 10:28 am
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RedinFla
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My goodness, as the world sleeps the forum continues to create. This ones going places, looking/sounding good guys.



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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 01:51 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Mike..fantastic man!!!... See I like that country blues kinda sound you got in your vocals, I think it works great.  I think that was good call on the lead up... that what it need it.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 02:46 pm
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Brenda McBryde
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HA!  Y'all need to send Jeff the Mp3 when you have it finished!



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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:54 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Mike maybe a repeating line like

Something in the night sky...

Something in the night sky

better check you eyes



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 03:58 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Brenda McBryde wrote: HA!  Y'all need to send Jeff the Mp3 when you have it finished!
Just might do that!

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:02 pm
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TSF-Mike
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SongWriter2947 wrote: Mike maybe a repeating line like

Something in the night sky...

Something in the night sky

better check you eyes

Rob, I need to flesh out the verses a bit better.  Perhaps change the line "makes a man question..." to "makes a man wonder..."  I only sang this twice.

Yeah I need just a little something in there.  I'll try the above when I get a chance so stay tuned.

..anyone hear black helicopters hovering??  Maybe I'm just being paranoid.  LOL!

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:08 pm
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SongWriter2947
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TSF-Mike wrote: SongWriter2947 wrote: Mike maybe a repeating line like

Something in the night sky...

Something in the night sky

better check you eyes

Rob, I need to flesh out the verses a bit better.  Perhaps change the line "makes a man question..." to "makes a man wonder..."  I only sang this twice.

Yeah I need just a little something in there.  I'll try the above when I get a chance so stay tuned.

..anyone hear black helicopters hovering??  Maybe I'm just being paranoid.  LOL!

maybe a helicopter wave file at the end of the song... LOL!



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:14 pm
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SongWriter2947
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That works Mike...

but on the second verse you stumble a little on "moving directions defying gravity and ground" how about changing defing to "that defy" it might be easier to sing.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:31 pm
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TSF-Mike
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SongWriter2947 wrote: That works Mike...

but on the second verse you stumble a little on "moving directions defying gravity and ground" how about changing defing to "that defy" it might be easier to sing.

That would still be three syllables.  I probably would stumble on either one.  I just need to get a better feel for the lyrics first.  Refine, refine.

I'll also try "something in the night sky" and whatever else I stumble on.

Got to go work...:X

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:37 pm
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terrypicker
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TSF-Mike wrote: SongWriter2947 wrote: That works Mike...

but on the second verse you stumble a little on "moving directions defying gravity and ground" how about changing defing to "that defy" it might be easier to sing.

That would still be three syllables.  I probably would stumble on either one.  I just need to get a better feel for the lyrics first.  Refine, refine.

I'll also try "something in the night sky" and whatever else I stumble on.

Got to go work...:X

Hey I just now found this thread.  I don't have any time right now but I'll check back in later.  You guys have you an Alien Marshmellow roast going on. "Cool" :D



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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 04:38 pm
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SongWriter2947
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I know where your coming from... I'll try a lyric I think is perfect and for some reason (probably my abilty to sing) it doesn't work for me. Keep with it ...it's sounding great.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 05:42 pm
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RedinFla
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There is a pretty good sounding helicoptor sound on Mixcraft.



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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 05:46 pm
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TSF-Mike
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Rob, here is a little something.  Pretty simplistic and mostly hard rhymes.

Outside the city limit, past clover fields of red
there in the twilight something up ahead
Can't be the whiskey, I ain’t touched a drop all night
but man I ain't never ever seen me such a sight

That thing got motion and twisted off the ground
Defying gravity and left without a sound
I stand here wondering if I’m sane at all
Who would believe me if I told'em what I saw

A vision in the night sky
A vision in the night sky
Just can't seem to get by
that vision in the night sky

Last edited on Mon Jan 21st, 2008 08:47 pm by TSF-Mike

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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 07:12 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Looks good mike.. Is it working better now when you sing it?



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 07:48 pm
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TSF-Mike
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SongWriter2947 wrote: Looks good mike.. Is it working better now when you sing it?
Haven't tried yet.  It will have to wait until later tonight. *sigh*

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