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RedinFla
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terrypicker wrote: glasman wrote: Sh*t, I was freakin out fo a minute.
Thanks Dblood I think I got it
Hey Red I hope you get to feelin better, them hicops will kill ya if you don't watch it.
Thanks Jeff I enjoy your songs.
I ain't saying nothing to Terry, he's crazy you know.
Thanks Bro. I resemble that remark! 
Glas, The thing ya need to know is....... We are all crazy here. hehehhehehehehehehehehe hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
By the way I'm fellin' much better, may still have the hiccups though.
Last edited on Thu Nov 8th, 2007 11:20 pm by RedinFla
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terrypicker
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RedinFla wrote: terrypicker wrote: glasman wrote: Sh*t, I was freakin out fo a minute.
Thanks Dblood I think I got it
Hey Red I hope you get to feelin better, them hicops will kill ya if you don't watch it.
Thanks Jeff I enjoy your songs.
I ain't saying nothing to Terry, he's crazy you know.
Thanks Bro. I resemble that remark!
Glas, The thing ya need to know is....... We are all crazy here. hehehhehehehehehehehehe hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
By the way I'm fellin' much better, may still have the hiccuos though.
yeah, 10-4 Red, glasman ort to fit right in with this bunch. He thinks by not talkin to me, will make him look UN-Guilty/UN-Crazy, By UN-Association. but we already know that's an UN-Certified Diagnosis. hee, hee, hee  Now tell me Red, just how did that make you feel? AW-HAW, Veddy Inte-lesting, Gits aus of De-Nile, der's aligators in der.
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glasman
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terry
Your one of the biggest reasons why I enjoy this forum so much. I know that you know that I know that you know that.
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terrypicker
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glasman wrote: terry
Your one of the biggest reasons why I enjoy this forum so much. I know that you know that I know that you know that.
I know that you know that I know that you know that I know. Bro.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 10th, 2007 08:07 pm |
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27th Post |
glasman
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Here's my rewrite. I hope it shows some improvement and that I've written it in a understandable form. Opinions and advice please.
“Blood On My Handsâ€
Nathan Baggett © 2007
I lived my life in misery(R)
Because given ain’t a part of me(R)
I tried takin when I had no pay(R)
His life was lost that same damn day(R)
Now I’m locked behind these bars
With liars and cheaters(R)
and rotten mistreaters(R)
I got to get some release, some kinda peace
Chorus
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
It’s a thing you can’t take back
Doin’ the best you can won’t cut it man
Cause life ain’t so long
That you can right your wrongs
Will only dyin' set the guilty free?
Will it pay my debt and release me?
V2
I saw the day that he revived opt. He lived again even tho he died
It was when his father testified
The judge asked what have you to plea
Not one damn word was heard from me
I was hurtin inside I cried
Dyin' will set me free
From livin this misery
I took the life of an innocent man
Chorus
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
It’s a thing you can’t take back
Doin’ the best you can won’t cut it man
Cause life ain’t so long
That you can right your wrongs
Only dyin’ will set the guilty free!
It will pay my debt and release me!
I’m a sinner but now I can see
That sweet release that’s gonna’ bring me peace
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
Last edited on Sun Nov 11th, 2007 02:51 pm by glasman
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| Posted: Sat Nov 10th, 2007 08:29 pm |
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terrypicker
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glasman, the structure of this song looks real good. The story line has me a little baffled tho.
I saw the day that he revived
It was when his father testified
The judge asked what have you to plea
Not one damn word was heard from me
I was hurtin inside I cried
Will dyin’ set me free
From livin this misery
Did he actually revive?
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| Posted: Sat Nov 10th, 2007 08:49 pm |
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glasman
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terry
No, the fathers testimony revived his memory of that day. He in a way knew the guy for the first time thru the testimony. I guess I need a rewrite.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 10th, 2007 08:56 pm |
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terrypicker
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In the first writing I must have completely missed the whole point you were going for in the song. Bro. this is a very harsh, and self judgmental lyric. No wonder you thought I was crazy in my reply. When you were speaking of the blood, the reviving, the father testifying, and the accused standing in silence, and the man confessing he was a sinner, I thought you were speaking of the judgment of God concerning sin. The blood of atonement being shed by the Christ, the Lamb of God. Can't believe I was this far off on this one friend. Sorry Bud 
My honest opinion on this writing is: the song construction is much improved, but the clarity of this message is very harsh. For anyone who has ever sinned. Which includes all of us, Bro. "For the wages of sin is death", but the gift of God, is Eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Not condemning your hard work, I'm afraid you did very well in what you were trying to express. 
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 09:25 am |
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glasman
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terrypicker wrote: In the first writing I must have completely missed the whole point you were going for in the song. Bro. this is a very harsh, and self judgmental lyric. No wonder you thought I was crazy in my reply. When you were speaking of the blood, the reviving, the father testifying, and the accused standing in silence, and the man confessing he was a sinner, I thought you were speaking of the judgment of God concerning sin. The blood of atonement being shed by the Christ, the Lamb of God. Can't believe I was this far off on this one friend. Sorry Bud
My honest opinion on this writing is: the song construction is much improved, but the clarity of this message is very harsh. For anyone who has ever sinned. Which includes all of us, Bro. "For the wages of sin is death", but the gift of God, is Eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Not condemning your hard work, I'm afraid you did very well in what you were trying to express.
Terry,
You weren't off on your first impression. In V1 he is speaking of his past life as misery because he was a taker not a giver. He expresses remorse for the life he took which was not planned but not completely accidental either. He was robbing in order to survive because he had no pay not realizing he would take a life. He is locked in with the very worst sinners in life which he cannot stand but now realizes he is counted as one of them. This expresses the reality that all sinners must see, the penalty for sin is death, not in a fleshly sense but more of a dying to self.
The chorus is an analogy expressing that we all (born into sin, sin is in the flesh) have His blood on our hands because it was sin that placed Him on the cross and it is something that we cannot take back. We can be remorseful and live the best we can but His blood is still on our hands. Dyin will set the guilty free has double meaning. One is dyin in the flesh and being released from his present condemnation from the judge and society and of course his on self judgment which he is revealing. The other is dyin to self or realizing that He is a sinner without hope unless he accepts the blood which he now recognizes.
V2, the father testifies of his son and the son is revived in his mind and soul, it is a picture of the Father, Son and resurrection which we all must believe in word and deed. The accidental killer accepts judgment in silence and doesn't say he didn't mean to do it or offers any excuse. He cries on the inside, the process of dyin to self has started.
He then accepts the death of an innocent man and we know no man is innocent except the man God, Christ.
The last chorus is about Christ and dyin to self (not in the flesh and not an analogy). He realizes that the blood on his hands can also pay his debt and set him free.
The Tag, He accepts that he is a sinner and he NOW sees that SWEET release and he has yet to suffer a physical death.
He then asks the question again,
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
I was tryin to express this message without it being a gospel song.
If you have suggestions they will be more than welcomed.
Last edited on Sun Nov 11th, 2007 09:34 am by glasman
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 10:24 am |
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glasman
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Terry,
I changed the choruses a bit so it will reflect his change of heart from questioning to knowing that dyin' will set him free.
I hope it helps and I appreciate your reply.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 11:05 am |
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terrypicker
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glasman wrote: Terry,
I changed the choruses a bit so it will reflect his change of heart from questioning to knowing that dyin' will set him free.
I hope it helps and I appreciate your reply.
Glasman, hey Bro, that's what I thought you were driving at to begin with, Quite a difficult topic to convey when one doesn't want to come right out and say it all directly. I've attempted this approach before, it is really more of a challenge than a person might think it to be. I can appreciate the lyric's intent, but I've had the pleasure of having it explained to me, by its author. The average listener won't have that convenience. It's a tuff one. I'll think on it some and see if I can offer any constructive input. Dang Boy, you're straining my little thinking Module!
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 11:25 am |
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glasman
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Thanks Terry,
Any suggestions will be appreciated
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 12:59 pm |
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terrypicker
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glasman wrote: Thanks Terry,
Any suggestions will be appreciated
The last chorus is about Christ and dyin to self (not in the flesh and not an analogy). He realizes that the blood on his hands can also pay his debt and set him free.
( OK, you are speaking of the man who is guilty of killing another man.? Right? ) The blood on his hands, is it the blood of the man he killed, or is ti the blood of Christ?
Chorus
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
It’s a thing you can’t take back
Doin’ the best you can won’t cut it man
Cause life ain’t so long
That you can right your wrongs
Only dyin’ will set the guilty free!
It will pay my debt and release me!
I’m a sinner but now I can see
That sweet release that’s gonna’ bring me peace
I got blood on my hands
You hear what I’m sayin
The Tag, He accepts that he is a sinner and he NOW sees that SWEET release and he has yet to suffer a physical death.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 01:46 pm |
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 02:13 pm |
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terrypicker
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glasman wrote: Terry
It's the blood of Christ
OK Bro, I'm lookin it over right now. I'll see if I can come up with anything. You want me to send it in a PM, or back to this post?
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 02:48 pm |
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glasman
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Terry,
A post will be fine unless you feel otherwise
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 02:59 pm |
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39th Post |
glasman
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Terry
I added an option for V2- He lived again even though he died
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| Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 03:23 pm |
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terrypicker
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glasman wrote: Terry
I added an option for V2- He lived again even though he died
Gman, I think it might be better to just go with a Gospel posting on this one, and just come out and say who you're refering to. What you have here is definitely Gospel content, It's going to be very difficult to get this thing where you want it to go, in the thread it's now being weaved. I've been working on it now for an hour or 2. I'm really not pleased with what I'm accomplishing. Think about it and see if it wouldn't make a better Gospel song. Bro. Just a thought.
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