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| Posted: Tue Apr 26th, 2022 03:13 am |
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1st Post |
Gary E. Andrews
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Portsmouth, Ohio, USA |
| Posts: | 99 |
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"My Share Of Bad Luck" Copyright April 25, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
(Verse I)
"I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
I've had my share of fun.
I went down the wrong road more than once,
had to come back on the run!
I wouldn't trade the worst of it for my pickup truck.
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
(Verse II)
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck.
I've been the lucky one.
I've been the loser out in the back,
and the singer in the Sun!
I wouldn't trade the worst of it for my pickup truck!
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
(Bridge)
Where would I be without you?
Where would you be without me?
Let's take our time and share a cup,
share a cup of our luck.
(Verse III)
You take that chance with every roll,
of every dice you play.
You've got big plans for how it will go.
Then it goes another way!
I wouldn't trade the worst of it for my pickup truck!
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
(Coda)
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck
"Our Share Of Bad Luck" Copyright April 25, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews.
(Verse I)
We took a chance on the weather,
and the possibilities.
We both knew forever,
doesn't come with guarantees.
As long as I had you,
You knew that you had me.
(Chorus)
I took a chance on you!
You took a chance on me!
We kept hoping, looking up!
We've had Our Share Of Bad Luck.
(Verse II)
We tried to make things happen.
We threw fate to the gods!
Some days we fell out laughin'!
Some nights we beat the odds!
We'd look into each other's eyes,
and one of us would nod!
I took a chance on you!
You took a chance on me!
We kept hoping, looking up!
We've had Our Share Of Bad Luck.
(Coda)
I wouldn't change a thing, darlin',
not for a million bucks!
We've had Our Share Of Bad Luck.
We've had Our Share Of Bad Luck.
____________________
As long as you'll reach for your pen, paper, instruments, here will always be another Song to be written. Someone will write the next great Song. It could be you. http://www.garyeandrews.com
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| Posted: Thu Apr 28th, 2022 12:30 am |
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2nd Post |
RainyDayMan
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| Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Stratford, Australia |
| Posts: | 8034 |
| Favorite Artist: | James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell | | I am a: | Songwriter/Musician |
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I prefer the "My Share..." version of the lyric - especially the first two verses. They feel like they rattle along quite nicely.
The second half of it feels like a different song.
The "you" in the Bridge appears kind of out of nowhere and doesn't seem to naturally follow on.
I'd be tempted to ditch that, and maybe use the bridge to show some concrete examples of his bad luck which are fairly generic up to that point.
I wouldn't trade the worst of it for my pickup truck.
I think that is going to sing very well.
I'm not sure it makes logical sense as he presumably has both at the moment and can't trade one for the other. But who cares. Everyone will get the idea and it should sound fine.
I went down the wrong road... > I took the wrong road...
"and the singer in the Sun!"
I don't understand that reference.
But it has a rollicking rhythm to it and you can almost hear music playing as you read it - and to me that's always a good sign!
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https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
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| Posted: Mon May 2nd, 2022 08:03 am |
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3rd Post |
Fire rem
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| Joined: | Wed Feb 23rd, 2022 |
| Location: | Hellevoetsluis, Netherlands |
| Posts: | 42 |
| Favorite Artist: | lucuis selter wall tommy emmanuel estas tonne ... | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
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it.s a good song .
I was on your website very instresting
And big( still reading )
Learnt alot and great tips
hi gary if you have a closer look at the text you use multiple rhyme forms
each verse is constructed differently when I watch this I wonder
whether there are established
rules are for the non
rhyming lines
I don't know if this is a stupid question or maybe else where it was described
Thanks garyLast edited on Mon May 2nd, 2022 07:46 pm by Fire rem
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| Posted: Sat May 7th, 2022 03:30 am |
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4th Post |
Gary E. Andrews
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| Location: | Portsmouth, Ohio, USA |
| Posts: | 99 |
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Rhyme-Scheme. Looks fairly consistent.
Non-Rhyming Lines are generally the ones in between the Rhyming Lines. They don't have to Rhyme as long as there is consistent Rhyme in those more emphasized Lines, Line 2 and Line 4.
Nursery Rhymes are Rhymed for children whose limited vocabulary means they may not know the meaning of the words, but they can hear the Rhyme. They learn the words without knowing what they mean, and get them in the right order because they Rhyme.
In Song, Rhyme makes a Lyric 'memorable' because, even though the Lines may not have great meaning for the listener, they do get the Rhymes.
"My Share Of Bad Luck" Copyright April 25, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews
(Verse I)
Luck/fun/once/run/truck/luck
(Verse II)
Luck/one/back/Sun/truck/luck.
(Bridge)
you/me/cup/luck
(Verse III)
roll/play/go/way/truck/luck
(Coda)
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck!
I've had My Share Of Bad Luck
"Our Share Of Bad Luck" Copyright April 25, 2022 by Gary E. Andrews.
(Verse I)
weather/possibilities/forever/guarantees/you/me
(Chorus)
you/me/up/Luck
(Verse II)
happen/gods/laughin'/odds/eyes/nod
you/me/up/luck
(Coda)
darlin'/bucks/Luck/Luck
____________________
As long as you'll reach for your pen, paper, instruments, here will always be another Song to be written. Someone will write the next great Song. It could be you. http://www.garyeandrews.com
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