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 Posted: Sun Nov 4th, 2007 02:43 am
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Jeff Knight
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Red: Might I add a suggestion? I think you have
too many rhymes that sound alike. It's gonna sound
redundant with all the rhymes rhyming with themselves.
Just my opinion :)



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 Posted: Sun Nov 4th, 2007 09:34 am
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RedinFla
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RDM, Thanks for commenting, when soundclick does that just hit the pause button and it will stop one version from playing, and you will be able to hear what was posted by the artist. Or that's what worked for me.

Jeff, I too am worried about so many "ame" sounding rhymes. After Rob got involved in this and we decided to go the blues route with it, I'm not AS worried about it, but time will tell how it sounds once the 3 verses are broken up with music. If it doesn't work out, I think I could come  up with 2 different chorus', and save the best"ame" rhymes for one. Not really sure where this will end up, but I appreciate your input.



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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 01:35 am
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SongWriter2947
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Barry, I posted an update on soundclick, not complete yet but getting threre.

You take a listen to "Like a fast moving train" here:

http://www.soundclick.com/robyoung2947



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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 08:56 am
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RedinFla
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Sounding good Rob........

I like the brass treatment, especially the train sounds.

What do you think of....

Loaded hot and heavy
like a fast movin' train?



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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 08:58 am
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RedinFla
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Jeff Knight wrote: Red: Might I add a suggestion? I think you have
too many rhymes that sound alike. It's gonna sound
redundant with all the rhymes rhyming with themselves.
Just my opinion :)

Jeff, As you predicted, it didn't work before, thie required a rewrite, and even a name change. Thanks for your help.



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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 10:34 am
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SongWriter2947
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Yep Jeff got the call on that one.

Last edited on Sun Nov 11th, 2007 10:39 am by SongWriter2947



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Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 10:39 am
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SongWriter2947
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Loaded Hot and heavy sounds good I might try that if I can get my voice to match when I do an edit. You know what thats like now that you used audacity. LOL!!



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 04:36 pm
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RedinFla
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SongWriter2947 wrote: Loaded Hot and heavy sounds good I might try that if I can get my voice to match when I do an edit. You know what thats like now that you used audacity. LOL!!
LOL, no not really, I never tried to chage something, I just clicked undo recording, and started over. Do you think we need to start a whole new thread with this one? The lyrics have changed, and even the name of the song is changed.



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 Posted: Sun Nov 11th, 2007 07:47 pm
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SongWriter2947
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RedinFla wrote: SongWriter2947 wrote: Loaded Hot and heavy sounds good I might try that if I can get my voice to match when I do an edit. You know what thats like now that you used audacity. LOL!!
LOL, no not really, I never tried to chage something, I just clicked undo recording, and started over. Do you think we need to start a whole new thread with this one? The lyrics have changed, and even the name of the song is changed.


Its more than an undo here I have multple tracks laid down. I'll sing the whole song after I lay down the chords and drums then silence the parts I don't like and re record, but that starts a new track. I also have layers of tracks getting down the instrument parts.

Yeah I thinka new thread is probably a good idea.

 



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 10:32 am
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Brenda McBryde
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This is coming along awesome!  Always fun to watch them evolve!  Best of luck on this one, its very cool! :cool:



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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 12:36 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Alright Barry.. I struggled with this one... but here's what I came up with.

LIKE A FAST MOVING TRAIN

http://www.soundclick.com/robyoung2947



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 12:42 pm
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RedinFla
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Rob, That's pretty cool.......... I can't take much credit on this one, all that's left of the original song is the hook. Good job Brother Rob. I think you should change the genre on it to maybe blues or jazz maybe on soundclick.



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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 12:47 pm
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SongWriter2947
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Brother the song wouldn't have happened without your open verse and hook -pur and simple. If you want to post on Jamwave you can or I'll post on my page.



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 01:24 pm
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54th Post
SongWriter2947
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Barry I posted it up on Jamwave under Blues. For some reason Jamwave strips out my header information in the MP3 (Thats where I put the song credits ie. B Williams R. Young) I posted your credit on my blog on my page.



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"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 01:25 pm
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RedinFla
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That's cool Rob, lets se3e how she fares with tha jammers



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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 01:32 pm
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RedinFla
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You should start a new thread here with Fast Movin' Train, see how the folks here like it.



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 Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 02:39 pm
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SongWriter2947
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New thread is up.... This one is offically done.



____________________

"Race'd a chevelle down on Griffin road,
snapped a belt and had to have it towed.
Talk was cheap but the action was fun,
and if we fought we didn't have no guns"

http://indiemusicworks.com/Rob_Young/
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