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Back Road
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat Jan 8th, 2022 05:41 am
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1st Post
BillyBosco
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Joined: Mon Jan 3rd, 2022
Location: Arizona USA
Posts: 9
Favorite Artist: Rolling Stones
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Back Road

She whispers softly to pull me away
From everything this crazy world
Does to us each day
Nothing else matters when you know it is true
That love is not lost even when you’re down and blue

So let’s take the back road home
Just turn off our phones
We’ll have fun all alone
When we take the back road home

When I’m awake she lies asleep so sweet
Like a summer morning sunshine
When I’m asleep my heart skips a beat
Cause I know she’s right by my side

So let’s take the back road home
Just turn off our phones
We’ll have fun all alone
When we take the back road home

She calls me out to be the man I can be
So many times I forget how she can see
What’s right can’t be wrong when left up to me
Life’s ride seems long but it’s short indeed

Let’s take it slow and be all we can be

So let’s take the back road home
Just turn off our phones
We’ll have fun all alone
When we take the back road home

Last edited on Sun Jan 9th, 2022 04:37 pm by BillyBosco



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 Posted: Thu Jan 13th, 2022 06:29 pm
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2nd Post
Gary E. Andrews
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Joined: Mon Jul 9th, 2007
Location: Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
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The Chorus seems such a direct communication between the Singer-Character and the Love-Interest Character I wondered if the rest of it should be more direct, instead of the Singer-Character telling us, the audience, about 'her'.
Here's an edit to explore that.

Back Road ("Back Road Home" might be a stronger title.)

(Verse I)
YOU whisper softly to pull me away
From everything this crazy world
does to ME each day
Nothing else matters when I know it is true
That love is not lost even when I'M down and blue

(Chorus)
So let’s take the Back Road Home,
just turn off our phones!
We’ll have fun all alone,
when we take the Back Road Home!

(Verse II)
When I’m awake YOU lie asleep so sweet
Like a summer morning sunshine
When I’m asleep my heart skips a beat
I know YOU'RE right by my side

So let’s take the Back Road Home,
just turn off our phones!
We’ll have fun all alone,
when we take the Back Road Home!

(Bridge)(The Bridge Melody would be different from the Verse Melody, a break in the Repetition, to renew listener interest, enabling a final giving of the Chorus. Or, it could be Verse III, with the same Melody.)

YOU call me out to be the man I can be!
So many times I forget how YOU can see!
What’s right can’t be wrong when left up to me!
Life’s ride seems long but it’s short indeed!

Let’s take it slow and be all we can be!

So let’s take the Back Road Home,
just turn off our phones!
We’ll have fun all alone,
When we take the Back Road Home!

(Coda)
Let's take the Back Road Home!
Let's take the Back Road Home!

The number of words, syllables, determines roughly the number of Notes to sing, which is the Melody. If there's too much variation in Syllables/Notes, the Melody can be hard for the singer to match up, and for the listener to relate to Structurally. When they hear the Repetition in Verse II of the Melody they 'learned' hearing it in Verse I they know it is a Repetition, and can follow the Structure.
Your Verse I has 10-8-5-11-12 Syllables/Notes in five Lines.
Your Verse II has 10-8-9-8, in four Lines.
The Stanza I think looks like a Lyrical Bridge has 11-11-10-9 and 10 in a 'free-standing' Line.
It might work. It might not. The listeners will decide.
I think the direct conversation of Singer-Character with Love-Interest Character works. It's very personal, very intimate, just between them, without involving the audience as the 'one' being 'told' about it all. We get to be eves-droppers on that intimate communication.



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As long as you'll reach for your pen, paper, instruments, here will always be another Song to be written. Someone will write the next great Song. It could be you. http://www.garyeandrews.com
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 Posted: Thu Jan 13th, 2022 10:00 pm
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3rd Post
RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
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Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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Very strong groove, got it's own identity musically.
I like the feel of the lyric, should sit well against that music.



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