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Oh Jesus
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Dec 26th, 2021 09:19 pm
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RainbowKeeper
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Not the best I've ever written, but when I stood there, near the highway bridge, watching all the cars vanishing in the far... I knew I had to write this...
Christmas with no makeup on....

Oh Jesus


There's still glitter on the floor A'
And some tinsel on the tree
The holidays are over
Jolly“ times for you and me
If I were into drinking
I would have got myself drunk
But I stayed sober and clean
Remained silent like a monk


Rage and strife undercover A+
Illusion of harmony
Sensed it, but I did my job
Peaceful“ times for you and me
Cleaned the house, fed the hungry
All with a smile on my face
Doing dishes by myself
I truly felt out of place


Oh Jesus B
Please wake up in your crib
Oh Jesus
Open your eyes and look around
The churchbells make no sound
Oh Jesus
Please wake up in your crib
Oh Jesus
Open your eyes and look around
Is this how it was ment to be?
These days, hope and love are hard to be found


And when I took my christmas walk C
I saw so many little bright lights
And when I took my christmas walk
To put my mind back at ease
So many cars rolled down the highway
And I felt the urge to flee
And when I took my christmas walk
I saw so many little bright lights
And when I took my christmas walk
To put my mind back at ease
So many cars rolled down the highway
And I really wanted to flee
Run away, from the fading christmas tree


I did come back from the cold A*
Before my tears turned to ice
Before my hands got frozen
-All alone I'm sitting here-
In my christmas paradise


©️by Ian P./ 26.12.2021/ for: VALENTINE+B

Last edited on Sun Dec 26th, 2021 11:14 pm by RainbowKeeper



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 Posted: Mon Dec 27th, 2021 08:49 am
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RainyDayMan
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Christmas is certainly not happy for everyone. The projections of joy in the media can magnify feelings of isolation for those feeling it. Homelessness, loneliness, separation, family fights, are all realities for many.

I think your song does a good job in portraying some of that reality. As a song, it might connect with more people if it was a little more general - it feels very specific and personal, which sometimes makes it harder to put yourself as a listener into that situation. But that depends on whether you want to reach a wider audience, or instead portray as accurately as possible a personal experience.



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 Posted: Mon Dec 27th, 2021 10:53 am
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RainbowKeeper
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Hey owen,
I see what you mean, but like I said there was this urge writing it and so, I had to. Maybe I find more common images with time and start all over, but I think I just needed a personal Katharsis here.
Hope you had a great Christmas!
Ian



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Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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