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Ah Hell, Here We Go Again
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 Posted: Mon Nov 22nd, 2021 08:09 pm
   
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SD Peter
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Gun violence protest song

https://soundcloud.com/alig-retsnom/ah-hell-here-we-go-again


God damn, here we go againActive shooter on a murder binge
This new normal, when is it going to end?
Ah hell, hell here we go again
Where's it at now, is it a school?
Movie theater, nightclub, or public pool
Soon appearing at a mall near you
Ah hell here we go again
All you gun people, what's up with you?
Hook line and sinker on a paranoid view
Where's you common sense when it comes to Amendment #2?
Ah hell, here we go again
Your slippery slope is a bunch of bs
We got a gun problem we must address
Are you part of the solution or just part of the mess?
Ah hell here we go again
Real lives, sacrificed, this twisted right is killing people here
Gun lobby, merchants of death
Buying law makers like tweekers amping meth
Billions in profit, party until your are out of breath
Ah hell here we go again
Worthless Congress, where the f#$k you been?
Gun lobby ********************
The more that die only adds to your sin
Ah hell, here we go again

Last edited on Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 12:49 am by RainyDayMan

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 Posted: Mon Nov 22nd, 2021 08:46 pm
   
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mlerner
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I think this is really good. I think it might be better with a chorus added. Maybe something with more melody-- I think the way the verses are sung works, just think it might be good to break out into some kind of different chorus.

I'm not that partial to the last few lines, lyrically. But in general I think this song really works well. And is needed/important.

Michelle

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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 12:15 am
   
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ChrisPrice
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I like this but it kinda reminds me of a few well known songs in the same style. The vocal is great - lots of attitude. I like the slightly overdriven bass but it could do with some more low-end to my old ears. Great track.:)



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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 12:55 am
   
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RainyDayMan
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Peter, apologies but I've had to edit your lyric.

There are constraints on what can be posted on TSF in terms of violence, suicide, drug use, offensive language and sexually explicit content. It's the last that is at issue here.

This is not a comment on the quality or validity of the lyric or its message. We just aim to keep the place family friendly.

Otherwise, I like your song.
The refrain of "Ah hell, hell here we go again" works well pulling it together.

The gritty, bluesy sound fits well with the mood.

The guitar solo is very nice. You might even mould the first music break more in that fashion.



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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 02:03 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Michelle -
Thanks for your input and my apologies for my last couple lines of lyric.  Regarding a chorus, when I was writing the song I was trying to get to one but it did not come to me.  Instead of getting hung up I just went with what I had.  When I start a song I try to finish it no matter what.  Otherwise, I would never finish anything.  Fortunately I am not anything close to a perfectionist so I just go with what I have.  If I like what I have done, I am happy and move on to writing another song.
Thanks,
Peter

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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 02:07 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Chris - thanks for you input.  I totally agree with not having enough low end.  It does sound thin to me as well.  If I mess with this song in the future I will probably add some additional guitar ummph to it.
Thanks!
Peter

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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 02:16 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Owen - first off my sincere apologies for the lyrical content.  I will not let that happen again.  If I have some content that may be questionable, can I run it by you in the future to make sure it is ok?  I hate that you had to be the police on this one.  Changing gears, thank for your input on the song. 

Thanks!Peter

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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 02:21 am
   
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RainyDayMan
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No problem, and that would be great. I know you're still finding your way about here :)



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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 07:07 am
   
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NewMusic
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I find songs that are political in nature to be trash. I am not interested in hearing a political rant when I turn on the radio. Especially leftist. We hope they go no further than the basement because the lyrics are so lop-sided that the offended are not allowed to respond in like manner. They are "forced" to listen to words on their radio that go against everything they believe in when they were really hoping to hear some feel-good music.

In this lyrical content, the bad people in the country are those who believe in protecting themselves and others from criminals and evil government tyrants. But the lyricist is playing the part of a pawn, or brown shirt, to move the agenda of disarming all the people so that full government control can go unhindered. Just like the hoax of Covid.

There's no having a discussion with a preaching song where the author is condemning everybody who does not agree with him/her. Thus, it alienates.

Then the lyricist thinks that the Congress should take his/her side and enact laws against the will of the people to commit more evil and crimes against humanity. The lyricist has no education on what he/she is brainwashed into thinking.

The evil in life is in the heart of man. Not in guns. Take away a person's gun, and he will use a baseball bat or knife. What about the homicides committed by the pharma industry which kill in the millions, and harm people in the 100's of millions. No heated lyrics about a true and great evil as that? Vehicular homicide is worse than anything done by guns, too.

And what about the people who have saved against countless rapists and kidnappings by the use of the gun they had on them? No words about that?

Last edited on Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 08:34 am by NewMusic

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 Posted: Tue Nov 23rd, 2021 09:06 pm
   
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RainyDayMan
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@Newmusic This is a political song, and on a controversial topic. You are allowed to express your views, but don't attack the writer personally.

Negative comments about the song lyrics are reasonable.

Views about the lyricist's motives, behaviour etc are irrelevant and inappropriate for this forum.



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 Posted: Wed Nov 24th, 2021 02:50 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi NewMusic - Thank you for your input on my song.  We obviously have very different outlooks on this issue.  I am not an advocate for taking away peoples firearms and their right to protect themselves.   I am upset that so many people get killed each year in our country from mass shootings.  It's tragic.  My hope is that some reasonable measures can be passed to make our country safer from this type of event.  We can never stop all types of incidents like these with laws by Congress.  If we can prevent some of them and save lives, I feel that would be worth it.  Hopefully we can find some common ground to achieve this.
Thanks,
Peter

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 Posted: Wed Nov 24th, 2021 01:30 pm
   
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Mora Amaro La Loba
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Hola SD Peter

I like the style of your complaint, of your cry. The lyrics are so descriptive !!! Guitars have that broken sound that I like, in this style, because of the strength that I give it.
Great job!

Mora

Last edited on Wed Nov 24th, 2021 01:31 pm by Mora Amaro La Loba



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 Posted: Wed Nov 24th, 2021 03:23 pm
   
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Only Gavin
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I like this. I even see why you wrote those last two lines. They are shocking and offensive but no more so than what they describe, so they are artistically appropriate and certainly attention grabbing. Having said that, I can see why Owen felt the need to edit them.

I like the attitude which comes across in your voice. And yes, maybe it could benefit from a bit more low end.

I agree with Owen that it should be possible to criticize a song without attacking the writer. It should also be possible to put aside your political views and offer comments or suggestions on the song itself. I know a few people on forums like this who write excellent political songs espousing views with which I strongly disagree. I still take my hat off to them for a song well written and offer any constructive criticism I can - on the song, not their political views :)



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 Posted: Wed Nov 24th, 2021 08:03 pm
   
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mlerner
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I also see the point of the original last lines, and why they work with the subject matter. I noted that I wasn't crazy about them. For me, it's not that they're sexually explicit per se. I'm ok with sexually explicit in itself. To me it's more the issue of conflating sex acts, especially sex acts performed on men, as a metaphor for subservience, corruption, and prostitution. It's commonly used that way. But so very many women are survivors of sexual assaults by men, and almost all of us have had some kind of sexually humiliating experience with men whether it be harassment or treatment during sex or objectification or molestation, that it always strikes me as painful to read images like that meant to have that kind of meaning. For me it suggests that women engaging in sexual experiences with men are necessarily subservient, humiliated, engaged in some level of prostitution (sex for something else), etc. and that the image of men doing is of them taking a subservient "female" role. That's why I personally said I wasn't crazy about the lyrics at the end as written. Though I do think, like Gavin, that they made sense lyrically. They just put me off from the song when I otherwise really liked it and identified with it.

I'm explaining this not to say that such lyrics are wrong or that they have to be changed in this song, but rather to let the writer know how using such metaphors may affect some listeners/readers. I can only speak for myself, but I'd guess there are other women (and some others) who cringe every time that metaphor is used. And I'm also not accusing the writer of sexism-- one of my favorite songwriters who is extremely feminist and is a woman, Ani Difranco, uses the same imagery/metaphor, with slightly different words, in her song To the Teeth-- which is also about mass shootings and Congressional pandering to gun manufacturers. So it's not like every woman or even feminist or even sex assault survivor (which she also is) would react the same way.

SD Peter-- I definitely recommend listening to the song To the Teeth with regard to this song. There are a lot of similarities (also a lot of differences, especially musically). If nothing else, I think you might like the song.

Michelle

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 Posted: Wed Nov 24th, 2021 09:03 pm
   
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Only Gavin
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You make a fair point, Michelle.



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 Posted: Thu Nov 25th, 2021 01:06 am
   
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mlerner
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SD Peter, here's the song To the Teeth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81tmJAxvlds
Michelle

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 Posted: Thu Nov 25th, 2021 02:30 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Gavin - thank you for your ideas/input regarding the song. I am learning a lot about songwriting in such a short time from posts like yours.  Obviously when you put political ideas out there it may stir things up.  I totally agree that you  should be able to critique ideas/content/songs etc. with personally going after the author.  That being said,  that is not always the case.  For myself, I really want to try to understand why someone feels a certain way, especially when it differs from my ideas.  If it is real to them then it is real to me.  I feel like if we could all try to walk in other peoples shoes from time to time we might realize we all have a lot in common and essentially want many of the same things. 

Thanks,
Peter

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 Posted: Thu Nov 25th, 2021 03:52 am
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Michelle -  thank you very much for your very thoughtful post.  When I think back  about the day when I wrote this song I was really upset and saddened by yet another mass shooting.  I think on that day that I had come to the realization that it did not matter how many more of these horrible events occurr,  that Congress would never be brave enough to take even the smallest step to try to stop the madness because the gun lobby had become so powerful.    That part of the lyric was also influenced by my experience as part of small niche trade group who formed to lobby congress because laws were being proposed that would essentially put us out of business.  What we encountered was an extremely corrupt process that disheartened me about how our country is run.  Essentially what we found was money buys access and influence and if you don't have money your chances of success are slim. Hard truth.  I was so naive about how things work in Washington and lost a lot faith in our government.

As a kid I used to enjoy political cartoons in the Sunday paper and history books.  As I wrote the lyric in question,  I had an image of a cartoon man representing the gun lobby being serviced by a cartoon image of a man representing congress.  In my experience with the trade group, the only people we had ever come in contact where men (lobbyists, congressmen, etc.).  I knew it was crude and offensive.   It was my attempt to insult our political process and the people who run the country.
I really appreciate your explanation as to why you did not like the last two lines of the song. What you wrote is very powerful.   I realize now that it is an extremely loaded metaphor and that it probably weakens the message I was trying to convey, which is unfortunate.  I learned a lot from what you wrote and will reflect on it for sometime.  There is a lot for me to unpack and I will probably reread it many times.  I know I will be better for it.   I will listen to your song over the holiday tomorrow.
Thanks,

Peter

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 Posted: Thu Nov 25th, 2021 06:45 pm
   
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mlerner
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Peter, To the Teeth is not my song, it's by Ani Difranco. It's from around 2000, so over 20 years old. Unfortunately, it sounds like it was written yesterday because nothing's changed.

I actually think the metaphor makes sense-- as I said, Ani Difranco uses the exact same metaphor, just with different language, for the exact same thing you did. Exact same thing-- gun manufacturer lobbyist and male congressmen. And I think for the same reason. I think how that's understood or felt in the body depends on the listener and their own experiences. I just wanted to share my own reaction after Gavin noted why the lyrics were appropriate, because I wasn't trying to say they weren't, just that they may provoke unintended reactions in some people.

I did, in general, really like your song and found it powerful. I think it serves its purpose. As a parent, mass shootings are one of my big fears. I think it's become a big fear for a lot of people in this country, especially parents. While gun regulation is a political issue in this country, I don't think fear of losing one's child to an active shooter is. Part of what I like about my kid's school is that it's not visible from the road so random people don't know it's there. How sad is that. My parents didn't have to worry about that when I was a kid.

Michelle

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 Posted: Fri Nov 26th, 2021 09:45 pm
   
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SD Peter
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Hi Michelle -  thank you for your link to the Ani DiFranco song.  I do like her song and read more about her.  She sounds like a very interesting person who has stayed true to herself and her beliefs her entire life.  Good for her.  I will check out more of her work.  I totally agree that one image or metaphor may provoke very reactions depending on that person's own experiences.  I realize now that sexual metaphors can be very problematic in this way. Things have changed so much in the past ten years or so with things of this nature.  I think I was trying to be a punk when I wrote that line.  It may be appropriate but in some ways it distracts from the dire situation we find ourselves in and the message of the song.  If I have some extra time I may try to re-record the song with a better lower end and maybe come up with a different wording of that line that stays on point.  I will see what I come up with. I like the challenge.
Regarding this on going problem, if you take a step back and look at it, it's truly insane.  What would be thought of as unthinkable and unacceptable in the not so distant past has now become normal.  Like you said, this whole thing is a parental nightmare!  I thought it is the duty of our government to protect its citizens from threats from abroad and within.  Maybe our only hope is that generational change will occur in the minds of people and this craziness will occur less often.  One can hope!

Peter

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