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Moonlight
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Sep 12th, 2021 06:07 am
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cmaja
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Something light and fun with a jazzy beat easy to dance to. CMA

Moonlight

Chorus:
Moonlight brightens the sky
Enlightens my mind
Twinkles my eyes
Makes my heart shine

Verse 1:
When I’m feeling down I think of the night
And the mystical moon gleaming her light
Making me smile, making me sing
Like birds in flight, moon on their wings

Chorus:
Moonlight brightens the sky
Enlightens my mind
Twinkles my eyes
Makes my heart shine

Verse 2:
And throughout the day I look to the night
And the magical moon glowing so bright
Decked out in style, strutting her thing
Like a girl in love, first day of spring

Chorus:
Moonlight brightens the sky
Enlightens my mind
Twinkles my eyes
Makes my heart shine

Bridge:
Dance around the Earth and sky
Reflect the sun, love in your eye
Bring light in the night, life in the tide
Show me the way, ‘cause you’re my guide

Chorus:
Moonlight brightens the sky
Enlightens my mind
Twinkles my eyes
Makes my heart shine

Instrumental:

Chorus:
Moonlight brightens the sky
Enlightens my mind
Twinkles my eyes
Makes my heart shine

Post chorus:
Moonlight, moonlight
Makes me feel fine
All-a the time

© 2021 Charles M Anderson



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 Posted: Thu Sep 16th, 2021 06:20 am
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RainyDayMan
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Light and fun is a good description, so I think you've got the mood just how you want it.

I like the verses, I think they are stronger than the chorus.

Moonlight brightens the sky
that's a nice line, but the rest needs a little oomph.
Even light fun songs need a strong chorus.

The post chorus looks like it will work well to end on.



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 Posted: Sat Sep 18th, 2021 02:43 pm
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Motorist Sketchbook
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I like this, but the first line of the chorus doesn't work for me.
"Moonlight brightens the sky"

Hope this isn't too anal, but the moonlight doesn't brightens the sky.
The sky remains dark and may look even darker because of it.

Maybe...

Moonlight glows in the sky

or

Moonlight on the dark skies (better rhyme with "eyes")

or

Moonlight shines in the sky


- Sketch



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 Posted: Sun Sep 19th, 2021 02:00 am
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cmaja
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Motorist Sketchbook wrote:
I like this, but the first line of the chorus doesn't work for me.
"Moonlight brightens the sky"

Hope this isn't too anal, but the moonlight doesn't brightens the sky.
The sky remains dark and may look even darker because of it.

Maybe...

Moonlight glows in the sky

or

Moonlight on the dark skies (better rhyme with "eyes")

or

Moonlight shines in the sky


- Sketch


Thanks for checking out my lyric, Sketch. Yea, you’re being too anal. This is a song lyric not a scientific dissertation. But I appreciate you mentioning that fact.

Sincerely,

Charles



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 Posted: Sun Sep 26th, 2021 07:31 pm
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
Light and fun is a good description, so I think you've got the mood just how you want it.

I like the verses, I think they are stronger than the chorus.

Moonlight brightens the sky
that's a nice line, but the rest needs a little oomph.
Even light fun songs need a strong chorus.

The post chorus looks like it will work well to end on.


I appreciate your positive review and suggestion, Owen. I just wanted to write something fun for a change.

I think with the chorus the strength of it depends a lot on the musical composition and vocals. I can easily change it, if necessary, to meet the musical requirements.

Anyway, thanks for checking it out.

Charles



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