The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

Does Heaven See
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2021 09:49 pm
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 1305
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Gretchen Peters, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
I originally wanted to write a country lyric but this is probably best suited under gospel. Could go either way… CMA

Does Heaven See

Verse 1:
I love the churches with their crosses
Their moons and many pointed stars
Stones and flowers mark their losses
Of their patrons leaving scars

All the believers come for service
They’re decked out in their best attire
They pray, oh God, please preserve us
Save us from the burning fire

Chorus:
But does Heaven see their pains and tears
The broken crosses hauled for years
And does Heaven see their sorrowed eyes
The near misses, the times they’ve died
Does Heaven see their broken hearts
The light crying in the dark
Does Heaven see the harshness
The hate keeping us apart

Verse 2:
I am the worst of disbelievers
That’s why you find me on my knees
Praying God please save this creature
From the sins that have deceived

I feel the marks that decry my soul
I hide the sadness that they bring
And my heart’s torn and, oh, so cold
Seems my prayers don’t mean a thing

Chorus:
And does Heaven see my pains and tears
The broken crosses hauled for years
And does Heaven see my sorrowed eyes
The near misses, the times I’ve died
Does Heaven see my broken heart
The light crying in the dark
Does Heaven see the harshness
The hate keeping us apart

Verse 3:
I have hope that will astound the saints
I hold their promise in my soul
And my candle burns but it’s faint
With light that’s something to behold

A light that does not belong to me
That come from somewhere far beyond
A brightness that will set us free
That makes right of what’s been wronged

Chorus:
Oh, does Heaven see our pains and tears
The broken crosses hauled for years
And does Heaven see our sorrowed eyes
The near misses, the times we’ve died
Does Heaven see our broken hearts
The light crying in the dark
Does Heaven see the harshness
The hate keeping us apart

Post chorus:
I pray Heaven sees us plain and clear
I pray Heaven sees our hearts

© 2021 Charles M Anderson



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sun Aug 1st, 2021 11:14 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
RainbowKeeper
Contributor


Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 685
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
This is good and heavy stuff...
I find it hard to find the right words. sorry.
Im a bit curious about the second line...

"Their moons and many pointed stars"

maybe you can explain it to me.
Thanks
RK



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

Back To Top


 Posted: Thu Aug 5th, 2021 04:56 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 1305
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Gretchen Peters, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
RainbowKeeper wrote:
This is good and heavy stuff...
I find it hard to find the right words. sorry.
Im a bit curious about the second line...

"Their moons and many pointed stars"

maybe you can explain it to me.
Thanks
RK


I appreciate you reviewing my lyric, RK.

Second line:
Moon and five pointed star is the symbol used by Islam ☪️. Star of David ✡️ symbolizes Judaism. Nine pointed star symbolizes Bahá’í Faith.

Charles



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Back To Top 


 Posted: Thu Aug 5th, 2021 11:53 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
RainbowKeeper
Contributor


Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 685
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Hey Charles,
ahh that's what you ment. I was a bit confused cause of the Moons...So you have connected those two religions to the word churches?!.... Ahhh
Thanx!Just got a bit...lost...cause we here would never use the word "Church" for buildings of the islam and the jews. So I was waiting for 'Synagogue' and 'Mosque' as reference.
Thanks again for explaining. Now I get the whole thing.;)



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Aug 6th, 2021 01:48 am
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 1305
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Gretchen Peters, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
RainbowKeeper wrote:
Hey Charles,
ahh that's what you ment. I was a bit confused cause of the Moons...So you have connected those two religions to the word churches?!.... Ahhh
Thanx!Just got a bit...lost...cause we here would never use the word "Church" for buildings of the islam and the jews. So I was waiting for 'Synagogue' and 'Mosque' as reference.
Thanks again for explaining. Now I get the whole thing.;)


Yea, being inclusive of all the correct terminology for the respective houses of worship for each religion makes for a cumbersome lyric and song. Even “houses of worship” is clumsy. It’s not too hard to figure out. Most listeners will blow right past line 2.

Charles



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Aug 6th, 2021 07:55 am
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
RainbowKeeper
Contributor


Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 685
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
hey there,i was just thinking with my german cultural backround so it was kinda strange for me to follow.
yes you are right it would sound clumsy...maybe "Temple" would work...just a thought of mine...cause over here this would work for all three buildings "religious temples"...but well that's just my german brain working again. Its fine as it is!
Well done and thanks again!RK



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Aug 14th, 2021 08:22 pm
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
cmaja
Member


Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 1305
Favorite Artist: Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Keith Urban, Gretchen Peters, Metallica, Steely Dan
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
RainbowKeeper wrote:
hey there,i was just thinking with my german cultural backround so it was kinda strange for me to follow.
yes you are right it would sound clumsy...maybe "Temple" would work...just a thought of mine...cause over here this would work for all three buildings "religious temples"...but well that's just my german brain working again. Its fine as it is!
Well done and thanks again! RK


Thanks again for your suggestion, RK. “Temple” is mostly not inclusive of Christianity. I thought of it and it doesn’t sound right followed by “crosses.” I appreciate your German perspective although.

Charles



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Back To Top 


Current time is 01:34 am

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1992 seconds (32% database + 68% PHP). 29 queries executed.