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A Brand New Dad
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sat Jan 23rd, 2021 02:54 am
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1st Post
derrickhand300
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Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
Favorite Artist: Tyler Childers at the moment
I am a: Songwriter
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 Roughing out some lyrics this evening for this- nothing set in stone. Just wanted to put it out there for suggestions while I take a break from it= feel FREE to share ANYTHING
NOTE: Been editing here w/changes so I think its almost done


A Brand New Dad
V1
Rememberin' when you were born
Cried til I couldn't breathe
Walked out under the stars
Prayin to God please

Dont let me mess this up
Lord guide me as a Dad
Make me a good father
Like the one I never had

Changed your dirty diapers
Taught you to ride a bike
Never missed a Christmas
Bought presents that you liked

(Pre Chorus)
God knows I gave it everything
Yet You and Mom still left

(Chorus)
Now Mom can find you a brand new Dad
Buy you all the things you never had
A dad who never quits
Who you want to see your games
A voice you want to hear
While I take the blame

V2
Lord knows it's been tough
Gettin by our last few years
When you and mom left
I met my greatest fear

Ive kept your phone turned on
So somedays you could call
A schedule of your games
Kept on your bedroom wall

Your call has never come
Not once have I heard your voice
It's not what I want
Just seems to be your choice

(Pre Chorus)
God knows I gave it everything
Yet You and Mom still left

(Chorus)
Now Mom can find you a brand new Dad
Buy you all the things you never had
A dad who never quits
Who you want to see your games
A voice you want to hear
While I take the blame

Bridge
Dream'n you'll come find me
Before I leave this Earth
You'll want to kiss and hug me
As the father of your birth
Still praying for that day
Though it may never come

(Pre Chorus)
God knows I gave it everything
Yet You and Mom still left

(Chorus)
Now Mom can find you a brand new Dad
Buy you all the things you never had
A dad who never quits
Who you want to see your games
A voice you want to hear
While I take the blame

© 2021 Curtis Hagen All Rights Reserved

Attachment: 6c63bc2a_376199.jpg (Downloaded 8 times)

Last edited on Sun Jan 24th, 2021 01:47 pm by derrickhand300



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 Posted: Tue Feb 2nd, 2021 06:19 pm
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2nd Post
Taylorm260
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Joined: Wed Dec 9th, 2020
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Posts: 64
Favorite Artist: Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Cam
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
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 Like the one I never had
^^^ good.


A dad who never quits
^^^^ it's not a big deal, but a possible problem with this part is that it suggests that YOU did quit which sucks some of the tragedy out of the song unless you say that you screwed up and wish you could do it over.

A voice you want to hear
^^^ meh. Could use something stronger.

I met my greatest fear
^^^^^ faced.

Ive kept your phone turned on
So somedays you could call
A schedule of your games
Kept on your bedroom wall
^^^^^ this part is so sad and I love it. This is my favorite part. So effective.



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 Posted: Tue Feb 2nd, 2021 07:31 pm
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3rd Post
derrickhand300
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Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
Favorite Artist: Tyler Childers at the moment
I am a: Songwriter
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 THANKS! I will be busy tonight! :)



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 Posted: Wed Feb 3rd, 2021 12:47 am
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4th Post
derrickhand300
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Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
Favorite Artist: Tyler Childers at the moment
I am a: Songwriter
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 Taylorm260 wrote:
Like the one I never had
^^^ good.


A dad who never quits
^^^^ it's not a big deal, but a possible problem with this part is that it suggests that YOU did quit which sucks some of the tragedy out of the song unless you say that you screwed up and wish you could do it over.

A voice you want to hear
^^^ meh. Could use something stronger.

I met my greatest fear
^^^^^ faced.

Ive kept your phone turned on
So somedays you could call
A schedule of your games
Kept on your bedroom wall
^^^^^ this part is so sad and I love it. This is my favorite part. So effective.

Still does not feel strong enough- 1st two lines of chorus need help I think? This kinda came to me from an old Elvis tune back when I was a kid

Don't cry daddy
daddy please dont cry
Daddy you still got me little Tommy
together we will find a brand new mommy

(Chorus)
Now Mom can find you a brand new Dad
Buy up everything you never had
A dad who makes you proud
Who you want to see your games
A father who is with you
While I take the blame

V2
Lord knows it's been tough
Gettin by our last few years
When you and mom left
I faced my greatest fear

Last edited on Wed Feb 3rd, 2021 12:49 am by derrickhand300



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