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| Posted: Tue Jan 19th, 2021 05:40 am |
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derrickhand300
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My wife wrote me an hour ago while I was in bed- she is at a nursing home with a lady dying of ALS and she had taken care of until a week ago when they admitted her with Hospice.
She is in a lot of pain and its REALLY sad. I told her I would stay up with her until she passed- then moved to my PC where I started writing.
I have always had a problem with the way many folks romanticize death as you can see in the lyrics.
I've been with several dying people and held their hand. The first time I was 17 and held my grandfathers hand at his home while he died of cancer.
The second time was years ago in the middle of the night on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere-I came across a kid who had a wreck and rolled his pickup - he was crushed and pinned- I called rescue- then seeing I could not free him I crawled up in the wreckage as best I could and held his hand as he cried.
The Jaws of Life finally arrived and they knew the moment they removed the pressure of the wreckage that he would bleed out in minutes so they quickly contacted his family after midnight- I will NEVER forget how they told the mother she would only have a few minutes with her young son.
Both deaths were terribly sad as well as others I've witnessed- I found no peace in ANY of them and NO comfort. Tonight my "Song in an hour" is about those deaths as I saw and remember them- while I wait to hear if Linda has passed tonight- I apologize the message is not a great one
Losing Life
V1
Once held the hand of a dying man
Again with a young boy I didn't know
Felt each tremble when the fire burned out
As their souls embarked on peaceful flight
Only I didn't see anything peaceful
In the heaving of their chest
Didn't find it on their sobbing face
When they struggled for their last breath
Life will always rage
Rage against the dying of the light
All the living can do is project
No one else can narrate the plight
(Chorus)
Death comes as a thief in the night
I don't doubt the phrase
I'm sure for some of us
Were on to better days
But to those left behind
And to all that have passed
There are no more earthly tomorrows
Where each can hold the others hand
V2
He died peaceful in his sleep
How I wish that could be true
Why cant there be auras and angels
With heavenly shades of blue?
For all who are about to slumber
And those whom heaven awaits
I hope they're greeted by angels
And enter those pearly gates
Walk winding streets of gold
Passing vineyards of sweet grapes
No more pain and suffering
Where all their sins have been erased
(Chorus)
Death comes as a thief in the night
I don't doubt the phrase
I'm sure for some of us
Were on to better days
But to those left behind
And to all that have passed
There are no more earthly tomorrows
Where each can hold the others hand
© 2021 Curtis Hagen All Rights ReservedLast edited on Tue Jan 19th, 2021 11:32 am by derrickhand300
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When You're A Hammer- The Whole Word Is A Nail
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| Posted: Tue Jan 19th, 2021 08:17 pm |
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cmaja
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Hi Curtis,
The content of the lyric is excellent! I didn’t analyze the lyrical structure —I’ll let another do that. I experienced comrades dying in the war, as well as my son, and can relate to this. Death as a thief on the night is an interesting phrase, even as it is written in 2 Peter 3:10. [The Day of the Lord] But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night. Perhaps there is a parallel here —the coming of the Lord is as mysterious as death.
Keep up the good work!
Charles
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| Posted: Tue Jan 19th, 2021 08:41 pm |
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derrickhand300
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cmaja wrote:
Hi Curtis,
The content of the lyric is excellent! I didn’t analyze the lyrical structure —I’ll let another do that. I experienced comrades dying in the war, as well as my son, and can relate to this. Death as a thief on the night is an interesting phrase, even as it is written in 2 Peter 3:10. [The Day of the Lord] But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night. Perhaps there is a parallel here —the coming of the Lord is as mysterious as death.
Keep up the good work!
Charles
Thank you Sir! I have always felt those that have been to battle understood first hand how life fights to stay in a body. We grew up with movies as kids where people died by saying a few parting words and just closed their eyes
Becoming a man it was a real eye opener to see death steal a life and the struggle that happens- that's really want I wanted to share in these lyrics- so I am thrilled it came across
Actually written in an hour because the story has been a part of my life as long as I can recall- it was just a matter of telling it
For a serious song it need some work- The last line in the first paragraph does not follow any proper structure- but I needed it to make the transition into the next paragraph of my story
I also had issues with borrowing a line from the bible concerning "a Thief in the night" as well as a line from the poem" Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas" -..."Rage against the dying of the light"
Felt like plagiarism
The song has no real hook and a very unmemorable title- really just something I felt I needed to say more than anything
Linda still hang on this afternoon here- I hope she receives a blessing of peace soon as well as her familyLast edited on Tue Jan 19th, 2021 08:43 pm by derrickhand300
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| Posted: Wed Jan 20th, 2021 09:45 pm |
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RainyDayMan
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Tough subject to tackle, but you've done well here.
Verse 1 is the more confronting, but my fav lines are in the chorus:
But to those left behind
And to all that have passed
There are no more earthly tomorrows
Where each can hold the others hand
I think the sense of loss and finality peaks there.
A couple of suggestions:
Only I didn't see anything peaceful > I didn't see peace
When they struggled > As they struggled
Don't feel bad about including references to "Thief in the night" and "Rage against the light".
They are just that: references - shortcuts to larger meanings and contexts, and a staple in song lyrics! This song has it's own unique feel and meaning well beyond them.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 21st, 2021 12:48 am |
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derrickhand300
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Thank you! I have made the edits an appreciate them! Last edited on Thu Jan 21st, 2021 12:53 am by derrickhand300
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