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Key To My Heart
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 Posted: Sun Jan 3rd, 2021 09:26 pm
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cmaja
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Keys To My Heart

Verse 1:
Someone said you’re the best around
I’ve heard some songs and I love your sound
So I knew I must attend your show
You play the piano so soft and slow
Each note I feel deep in my soul
You know the keys to my heart

Chorus:
Touch me like you touch your keys
So gentle, so soulful, so full of love
Moving through every part of me
Music falling from heaven above
Black with whites in symphonic art
You play the keys to my heart

Verse 2:
Someone asks me, will I be okay
I wanna run but can’t turn away
I cover my face as tears start to flow
You play the piano like no one I know
And songs you play won’t let me go
You play the keys to my heart

Chorus:
Touch me like you touch your keys
So gentle, so soulful, so full of love
Moving through every part of me
Music flowing from heaven above
Black with whites in symphonic art
You play the keys to my heart

Bridge:
Melodic movements tear me apart
I can’t control my emotions
Your concert of love’s more than just art
Each note’s like a word unspoken

Chorus:
Touch me like you touch your keys
So gentle, so soulful, so full of love
Moving through every part of me
Music flowing from heaven above
Black with whites in symphonic art
You play the keys to my heart

Post chorus:
You play the keys to my heart
You play the keys to my heart
The keys to my heart, to my heart

© 2020 Charles M Anderson

Last edited on Fri Jan 8th, 2021 10:42 am by cmaja



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 Posted: Mon Jan 4th, 2021 09:40 pm
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RainyDayMan
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I think this is at its best where it focuses on the mood and emotion without the narrative elements.

For me it kicked into gear at:
You play the piano so soft and slow
Each note I feel deep in my soul
You play the keys to my heart


And similarly in verse 2 I'd like to see it as:
You play the piano like no one I know
And songs you play won’t let me go
I cover my face as tears start to flow
You play the keys to my heart


And you might be able to use that as a template for v1.

The chorus is already in that mood and works well.

For me the bridge is also a bit unemotional. In putting the musical terminology in there I think it lessens the mood.

But well worth pursuing.



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 Posted: Tue Jan 5th, 2021 08:37 am
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echo insider
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This is a very challenging song to write and I would/will mostly make a shambles of it until i recognize and address the focus points that make it work. i think of killing me softly for a reference. i agree with the astute observations of rainydayman. he has indicated the strongest parts to build on. I think the voice in the song is very sincere. and i think metaphor of bridge and chorus can be strengthened by concrete examples because they will increase emotion and involvement. it's time to get corporeal. cheers

Last edited on Tue Jan 5th, 2021 08:46 am by echo insider



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 Posted: Tue Jan 5th, 2021 03:13 pm
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Andrea
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Hi Charles, I think you have something very nice started. There are very moving parts to this.

I felt the same as RDM when I read it. The first 2 lines os each verse do not lend anything to the lyric. I don't think you need them at all. In V1 you might rewrite L3 as L1. I didn't think the workd 'review' felt quite right either. Something here to show me the scene would work well.

In V2 I agree with RDM to switch the lines around. That reads very nice as he suggests.



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 Posted: Tue Jan 5th, 2021 09:18 pm
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
I think this is at its best where it focuses on the mood and emotion without the narrative elements.

For me it kicked into gear at:
You play the piano so soft and slow
Each note I feel deep in my soul
You play the keys to my heart


And similarly in verse 2 I'd like to see it as:
You play the piano like no one I know
And songs you play won’t let me go
I cover my face as tears start to flow
You play the keys to my heart


And you might be able to use that as a template for v1.

The chorus is already in that mood and works well.

For me the bridge is also a bit unemotional. In putting the musical terminology in there I think it lessens the mood.

But well worth pursuing.


Thanks, Owen, always appreciate your reviews. I reworded v1 and the bridge. I tried to make v1 a bit more emotional but the stage needs to be set. In the bridge the focus is on the overall performance now. Check it out.

Happy New Year!

Charles



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 Posted: Fri Jan 8th, 2021 10:37 am
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cmaja
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Andrea wrote:
Hi Charles, I think you have something very nice started. There are very moving parts to this.

I felt the same as RDM when I read it. The first 2 lines os each verse do not lend anything to the lyric. I don't think you need them at all. In V1 you might rewrite L3 as L1. I didn't think the workd 'review' felt quite right either. Something here to show me the scene would work well.

In V2 I agree with RDM to switch the lines around. That reads very nice as he suggests.


Thanks, Andrea, for your review and suggestions. I changed v1 and the bridge. The stage can be set in a introduction or verse, but it needs to be set. I see no reason to change anything else. It says exactly what I want it to. I appreciate your input. Actually I forgot to change it, but will immediately!

Charles



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 Posted: Sat Jan 9th, 2021 05:43 am
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BeatlesFan64
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Hey Charles, very soulful indeed! The chorus is my favorite part, every line was full of sublime metaphors, and the emotion of what the narrator is feeling really comes through. V2 is also very good, takes the concept of being “moved to tears” to a whole new level haha.

Now I know you’re probably happy with it as is, but I kind of felt like V1 was more like an introduction. You say yourself that it’s setting the stage, which is exactly the sense I got. For that reason, it feels more like an intro than a verse. But that’s just semantics really. Lyrically I think it serves its purpose to introduce us to this amazing pianist.

Great work! This kind of song is more rare nowadays I think. Then again, virtuoso performers aren’t exactly as common now as in Mozart’s day.



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 Posted: Tue Jan 12th, 2021 08:32 pm
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cmaja
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echo insider wrote:
This is a very challenging song to write and I would/will mostly make a shambles of it until i recognize and address the focus points that make it work. i think of killing me softly for a reference. i agree with the astute observations of rainydayman. he has indicated the strongest parts to build on. I think the voice in the song is very sincere. and i think metaphor of bridge and chorus can be strengthened by concrete examples because they will increase emotion and involvement. it's time to get corporeal. cheers


Thanks, echo, for your review, comments and suggestions. I changed it a bit. It’s reminiscent of Killing Me Softly and Diane Warren’s Spanish Guitar, but it’s actually about my pianist sister. I made it into a hopeful romance although. It stays as it is. Peace

Charles



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 Posted: Wed Jan 13th, 2021 08:23 pm
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cmaja
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BeatlesFan64 wrote:
Hey Charles, very soulful indeed! The chorus is my favorite part, every line was full of sublime metaphors, and the emotion of what the narrator is feeling really comes through. V2 is also very good, takes the concept of being “moved to tears” to a whole new level haha.

Now I know you’re probably happy with it as is, but I kind of felt like V1 was more like an introduction. You say yourself that it’s setting the stage, which is exactly the sense I got. For that reason, it feels more like an intro than a verse. But that’s just semantics really. Lyrically I think it serves its purpose to introduce us to this amazing pianist.

Great work! This kind of song is more rare nowadays I think. Then again, virtuoso performers aren’t exactly as common now as in Mozart’s day.


Thanks, BF64, for your review and comments. Let get it straight: the stage setting is only the first three lines of verse 1. A stage setting in the intro or verse 1 makes no difference. Or if you reveal it as you move through the lyric. I’ve used an entire verse to set the stage. Sometimes it’s necessary. There are plenty of successful songs that set the stage in verse 1. Nuff said.

The pianist is my sister and she was amazing! She died and I wish I had some of the songs she wrote so I can add lyrics to them. But that’s another story.

I always appreciate your input.

Charles



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