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| Posted: Tue Nov 24th, 2020 08:14 am |
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1st Post |
BeatlesFan64
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 23rd, 2020 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
| Posts: | 185 |
| Favorite Artist: | The Beatles, Everlys, SBJ, Herman’s Hermits, Searchers | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
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I still need to add a couple more verses to this, and a bridge.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ls4o9f8nebaz6sp/A%20Girl%20Like%20You.m4a?dl=0
A Girl Like You
(Refrain)
Thoughts and dreams and things unseen
Flowing like an endless stream
That’s the only place where a girl like you
Could ever love a guy like me
(Verse 1)
Each time I see you passing by
I can’t help but get lost in your eyes
Why must I feel the way I
(Verse 2)
do, ‘Cos I know you’ll never look up and see
At his window, lonely as can be
The one who really loves you
(Refrain)
Thoughts and dreams and things unseen
Flowing like an endless stream
That’s the only place where a girl like you
Could ever love a guy like me
____________________
Keeping the oldies alive! All comments and feedback welcome 🙂
https://soundcloud.com/billis-lopez/sets/best-of-tommy-l-day-the?ref=clipboard&p=i&c=1
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29th, 2020 09:58 pm |
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2nd Post |
RainyDayMan
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| Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Stratford, Australia |
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| Favorite Artist: | James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell | | I am a: | Songwriter/Musician |
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I like the chord sequences you are using here.
The refrain is particularly good.
I like the verses too, but there are a couple of spots that feel a bit squished like:
I can’t help but get lost in your eyes
do, ‘Cos I know you’ll never look up and see
I think they could be smoothed out, maybe:
I get lost within your eyes
do, I know you’ll never look up and see
Worth pursuing!
____________________
https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
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| Posted: Sun Nov 29th, 2020 10:49 pm |
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3rd Post |
BeatlesFan64
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| Location: | Texas USA |
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| Favorite Artist: | The Beatles, Everlys, SBJ, Herman’s Hermits, Searchers | | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
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Thanks RDM, I'm glad you liked it. I recorded this demo probably over a year and a half ago, and I never really got back to it. I was hoping I could possibly get some input here on how to proceed. I like you ideas for making the lines shorter, in retrospect, I was definitely squeezing every last inch and then some haha. I think I want to make at least one new verse, maybe two. And I'm still stumped as for bridge chords at the moment.
____________________
Keeping the oldies alive! All comments and feedback welcome 🙂
https://soundcloud.com/billis-lopez/sets/best-of-tommy-l-day-the?ref=clipboard&p=i&c=1
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| Posted: Mon Nov 30th, 2020 12:29 pm |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 4th, 2020 04:31 am |
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5th Post |
JAPOV
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| Location: | Alabama USA |
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Here's what I do when I'm stuck... I set lyrics / music completely aside and just write an explanation, like an in depth advertisement for the song. I would explain lines like "guy like me" and "dreams an things unseen". In just plain dialogue, set the stage for a potential listener in explicit detail. Tell the story. Generally, doing this helps me get all my thoughts in one place, and usually I'll be inspired just by thinking creatively 
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http://www.soundclick.com/JAPOV
Let's write something!!!!
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