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Dandelions
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Oct 12th, 2020 12:31 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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He’d stop his bike on a dime
Almost every day
Come runnin’ in with a big ole grin
Taking time out from his play

Say mommy here I picked these
And I hope you love them so
To mama they were better
Than any store bought rose

In a plastic cup on the window sill
They sat there on display
In a day or less they’d turn brown
And surely wilt away
But mama always loved them
Each and every time
Who’d of thought the best gift she got
Was always dandelions

In the summer of his 6th birthday
Mama lost her fight
When the bouquets came there on display
For our families shining light

Was a vase there front and center
For all the world to see
A cup of dandelions so fine
To help set her spirit free

In the plastic cup from our window sill
They sat there on display
In a day or less they’d turn brown
And surely wilt away
But mama always loved them
Each and every time
Who’d of thought the best gift she got
Was always dandelions

I know that she is up there
Sending down a sign
Cause In the summer since she left us
Our yard is full of dandelions

He stops his bike on a dime
Almost every day...

Copyright Michael P Dudash © 2020

Last edited on Mon Oct 12th, 2020 12:32 pm by M.P. Dudash



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 Posted: Mon Oct 12th, 2020 01:18 pm
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JAPOV
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Another good one MPD! I think this should be done 1st person :)



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 Posted: Mon Oct 12th, 2020 01:45 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks, Japov. I wasn’t sure on this one. That may be the way to go.



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 Posted: Mon Oct 12th, 2020 03:08 pm
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John_Sturgill
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This is very well laid out and it really tugs on the heartstrings Mike, very nice lyrics.

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 Posted: Mon Oct 12th, 2020 03:15 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Thank you John!



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 Posted: Tue Oct 13th, 2020 02:30 am
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RainyDayMan
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It's a lovely write.

I think it's fine as it is in 3rd person. Feels like watching a movie.

I like that final verse in particular
I know that she is up there
Sending down a sign
Cause In the summer since she left us
Our yard is full of dandelions



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 Posted: Tue Oct 13th, 2020 04:14 am
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M.P. Dudash
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Thanks, Owen.



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 Posted: Mon Nov 2nd, 2020 12:08 pm
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PerryC
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They'd turn brown in a day or less

in the summer of his 6th year


Flows better but great song



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 Posted: Sun Nov 8th, 2020 07:00 pm
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Andrea
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It's sad, but it's a good story. It has a nice flow and the emotions are strong. Nice write



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 Posted: Wed Nov 11th, 2020 04:12 am
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SongWriterJoe
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Great work.. in my opinion, one of your better songs. It has a nice heart tug to it like Red Sovine's "teddy bear"

Last edited on Wed Nov 11th, 2020 04:13 am by SongWriterJoe



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 Posted: Mon Nov 16th, 2020 10:44 pm
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Billy_Lunch_Money
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I really like this, it bought a tear to my eye!



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