I started on this project today actually. I have a demo posted on my newgrounds account. I hope if I post the link that's not against the rules or anything.
I've been writing stuff with lyrics for the past 10 years roughly, but my earlier creations were not so good in my opinion. My instrumentals have generally always been good. I'm more of an orchestration guy. But, I have spent countless hours developing my vocal recording "sound" both with autotune and without.
this recording is a raw recording of me singing, and the instrumental was made by me. feel free to check out other projects I have on that newgrounds account to see the transition.
Very nice! Like the progression and dynamics.
The "I just wanna be"s work very well.
At the end of that you might try singing out strongly on "let me out"
There is certainly room there for drums/percussion if you want it.
Is this WIP or is it the entire song? It feels like it's only the first part of a longer piece.
honestly? it's a wip and I have no idea how I should approach writing the second verse. and/or make the first verse continue into the drums for a bigger chorus and treat the current chorus as a bridge???