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| Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2020 10:11 pm |
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1st Post |
MarkRhodes
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Grumpy (This Is Not Gonna Be My Day)
Words & Music by Mark Rhodes
© 2020
Sick kid up all night
Jammed at each red light--
This is not gonna be my day.
Feelin' grumpy
Frog-eyed and jumpy--
This is not gonna be my day
God knows I could use a nap
But there's just so much crap--
To do
Gulped coffee by the pot
Head hurts and I don't feel so hot--
Boo-hoo.
Feel dumb, I feel old
Curse like some a***ole--
This is not gonna be my day.
____________________
"If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." Leonard Cohen
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| Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2020 02:47 am |
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2nd Post |
MASempine
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I like it
Reminds me of the way I was feeling when I thought up “Siitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking”
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| Posted: Fri Sep 11th, 2020 04:32 pm |
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MarkRhodes
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MASempine wrote:
I like it
Reminds me of the way I was feeling when I thought up “Siitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking”
Thank you! I like your title, "Sitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking."
____________________
"If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." Leonard Cohen
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| Posted: Sat Sep 12th, 2020 02:18 am |
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RainyDayMan
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I like the attitude!
It looks a bit short just reading it. Might need a lot of music to support it.
There's a big difference in length between:
This is not gonna be my day
and
To do
but I'm assuming you've got some music in mind and it works well enough.
I'm wondering whether you should just repeat the "This is not gonna be my day" as a refrain the whole way through.
If there's only going to be 5 verses then the ear shouldn't get tired of it.
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| Posted: Sat Sep 12th, 2020 02:56 am |
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John_Sturgill
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I like it and like RDM suggested you may have some music to stand in for the shortness.
Just one thing to consider and only my take:
"I feel dumb, I feel old"
Sounds repetitive with "feel" and two lines compressed into one.
Just a thought:
"I feel dumb and kinda old" 
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| Posted: Sun Sep 13th, 2020 03:47 pm |
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27th, 2020 06:20 am |
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M.P. Dudash
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Mark, maybe rename it everyday? 😂 Add a chorus and you may have something because it does seem a bit short right now. Good start though.
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