 |
Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2020 10:11 pm |
|
1st Post |
MarkRhodes
Member

Joined: | Sun Aug 16th, 2020 |
Location: | Greemacres, Florida USA |
Posts: | 55 |
Favorite Artist: | Can't pick just one, sorry. | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
Grumpy (This Is Not Gonna Be My Day)
Words & Music by Mark Rhodes
© 2020
Sick kid up all night
Jammed at each red light--
This is not gonna be my day.
Feelin' grumpy
Frog-eyed and jumpy--
This is not gonna be my day
God knows I could use a nap
But there's just so much crap--
To do
Gulped coffee by the pot
Head hurts and I don't feel so hot--
Boo-hoo.
Feel dumb, I feel old
Curse like some a***ole--
This is not gonna be my day.
____________________ "If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." Leonard Cohen
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2020 02:47 am |
|
2nd Post |
MASempine
Member

Joined: | Fri Jul 10th, 2020 |
Location: | Bridgeport, Alabama USA |
Posts: | 238 |
Favorite Artist: | Mac Davis, Ray Stevens, | I am a: | Songwriter |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
I like it
Reminds me of the way I was feeling when I thought up “Siitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking”
____________________ What God cannot do is an empty list {...}
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Fri Sep 11th, 2020 04:32 pm |
|
3rd Post |
MarkRhodes
Member

Joined: | Sun Aug 16th, 2020 |
Location: | Greemacres, Florida USA |
Posts: | 55 |
Favorite Artist: | Can't pick just one, sorry. | I am a: | Singer/Songwriter/Musician |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
MASempine wrote:
I like it
Reminds me of the way I was feeling when I thought up “Siitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking”
Thank you! I like your title, "Sitting Here Thinking with My Left Blinker Blinking."
____________________ "If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." Leonard Cohen
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sat Sep 12th, 2020 02:18 am |
|
4th Post |
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator

Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
Location: | Stratford, Australia |
Posts: | 6887 |
Favorite Artist: | James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell | I am a: | Songwriter/Musician |
Status: |
Online
|
|
I like the attitude!
It looks a bit short just reading it. Might need a lot of music to support it.
There's a big difference in length between:
This is not gonna be my day
and
To do
but I'm assuming you've got some music in mind and it works well enough.
I'm wondering whether you should just repeat the "This is not gonna be my day" as a refrain the whole way through.
If there's only going to be 5 verses then the ear shouldn't get tired of it.
____________________ https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sat Sep 12th, 2020 02:56 am |
|
5th Post |
John_Sturgill
Guest
Joined: | |
Location: | |
Posts: | |
Favorite Artist: | | I am a: | |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
I like it and like RDM suggested you may have some music to stand in for the shortness.
Just one thing to consider and only my take:
"I feel dumb, I feel old"
Sounds repetitive with "feel" and two lines compressed into one.
Just a thought:
"I feel dumb and kinda old" 
|
Back To Top
|
Posted: Sun Sep 13th, 2020 03:47 pm |
|
6th Post |
Posted: Sun Sep 27th, 2020 06:20 am |
|
7th Post |
M.P. Dudash
Contributor

Joined: | Mon Apr 24th, 2017 |
Location: | Ohio USA |
Posts: | 1339 |
Favorite Artist: | George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary | I am a: | Other |
Status: |
Offline
|
|
Mark, maybe rename it everyday? 😂 Add a chorus and you may have something because it does seem a bit short right now. Good start though.
____________________ Takamine GN71CE Sunburst
Marlen Sd-10(Supposedly used on a Byrds recording)
Self teaching in progress
|
Back To Top
|
|
 |
|