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| Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 03:48 am |
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cmaja
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Small Town Mississippi
Verse 1:
We’re livin’ in small town Mississippi
We both roam around like Gypsies
That ole truck’s got holes in its floors
Burnin’ oil, can’t go passed fifty
Heading down to the river’s shore
Swimming till we’re tired and dizzy
Smooching ‘neath the old wood bridge
We’re loving in small town Mississippi
Chorus:
Oh, small town Mississippi life
With friendly folks, small town treats
Those peach delights, where cotton’s king
Where rich or poor don’t mean a thing
We work the land, grow the wheat
Where nature gives us everything
To make you smile, make you sing
Oh, small town Mississippi’s sweet
Verse 2:
We’re livin’ in small town Mississippi
Dance hall fun on Friday evening
Two steps forward, she takes two back
She’s so cute I must be dreaming
Old and young dancing, the floor’s packed
Clapping, smiling, hooting and singing
So darn charming, I’m bewitched
By the spell of small town Mississippi
Chorus:
Oh, small town Mississippi life
With friendly folks, small town treats
With peach delights, where cotton’s king
Where rich or poor don’t mean a thing
We work the land, grow the wheat
Where nature gives us everything
To make you smile, make you sing
Oh, small town Mississippi’s sweet
Bridge:
Festive celebrations of all kinds
The Elvis Festival salutes the king
Wow, these towns have great Main Streets
Music, arts and crafts, delicious eats
Small town beauty by the Mighty Miss
Righteous livin’ in Mississippi bliss
Chorus:
Oh, small town Mississippi life
With friendly folks, small town treats
With peach delights, where cotton’s king
Where rich or poor don’t mean a thing
We work the land, grow the wheat
Where nature gives us everything
To make you smile, make you sing
Oh, small town Mississippi’s sweet
Post chorus:
Yea, small town Mississippi can’t be beat
© 2020 Charles M AndersonLast edited on Thu Aug 27th, 2020 02:27 am by cmaja
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 04:23 am |
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John_Sturgill
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I enjoyed your lyrics. Just a couple suggestions, in my humble opinion.
1- if you take out the "in" on the last line of verse one, the line will be easier sung and the meaning is unchanged
2- "sweet" is another word that can, in my opinion, be removed as Mississippi when sung right is a better rhyme and the message is still conveyed
3- when vocals and the music steps up in the bridge with the anticipation of the chorus, consider cutting back to four lines.
Have a great time with this jem
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25th, 2020 08:44 am |
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cmaja
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Hey, John... thanks for your review and suggestions. Taking away is easy, adding is more difficult. I’ll leave that to the singer. I can easily change it after it’s sung.
Charles
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2020 07:01 am |
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RainyDayMan
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Painting a vivid and detailed picture with this one Charles! I don't know much about Mississippi, but I feel like I've been there now.
In the first verse, where you start with 'We’re livin’ in small town Mississippi' that made me think it was about a family until you get to 'Smooching ‘neath the old wood bridge' at which point I had to undo my prev interpretation. You might clarify that right away if you changed line 2 along the lines of:
My darling and I roaming round like Gypsies
The chorus is my fav part, especially:
Those peach delights, where cotton’s king
Where rich or poor don’t mean a thing
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26th, 2020 11:08 pm |
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Andrea
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I'm liking this. A lively and fun story with an easy flow.
I like this idea of the small town. I think you did a nice job with the feel of a small town.
My only suggestion would be a couple small word changes:
"Old and young dancing, the floor’s packed >>- Old and young, the floor is packed
Clapping, smiling, people are singing >>- clapping, laughing, hooting, singing/ clapping and smiling, people singing, or some a variation on this.
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27th, 2020 02:18 am |
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cmaja
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RainyDayMan wrote:
Painting a vivid and detailed picture with this one Charles! I don't know much about Mississippi, but I feel like I've been there now.
In the first verse, where you start with 'We’re livin’ in small town Mississippi' that made me think it was about a family until you get to 'Smooching ‘neath the old wood bridge' at which point I had to undo my prev interpretation. You might clarify that right away if you changed line 2 along the lines of:
My darling and I roaming round like Gypsies
The chorus is my fav part, especially:
Those peach delights, where cotton’s king
Where rich or poor don’t mean a thing
Hey, RD Man, glad you like it! Thanks for your suggestion about V1, Line 2. I changed it.
Charles
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27th, 2020 02:22 am |
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cmaja
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Andrea wrote:
I'm liking this. A lively and fun story with an easy flow.
I like this idea of the small town. I think you did a nice job with the feel of a small town.
My only suggestion would be a couple small word changes:
"Old and young dancing, the floor’s packed >>- Old and young, the floor is packed
Clapping, smiling, people are singing >>- clapping, laughing, hooting, singing/ clapping and smiling, people singing, or some a variation on this.
Hi, Andrea... Always appreciate your reviews and ideas. I’ll probably change that line. Pleased you enjoyed it.
Charles
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